


The Trickster's Oracle

by PenultimatePenman



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Dimensions, F/M, Loki is a dick, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:39:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 50,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenultimatePenman/pseuds/PenultimatePenman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows that Loki almost succeeded in his goal to release the Chitauri, but how did he plan everything so perfectly? Set between when Loki arrived on earth and his defeat at the hands of the Avengers. Loki/OC -bondage, non-con, torture, violence</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Explosions rocked the earth and sent rubble hailing down onto the yelling civilians below. Strange creatures flew through the air on even stranger golden jet-skis. Screams, cries, chaos. People were dying. People were fighting. People were losing._

_But then a mass of green flew off a building and crashed into a group of the flying …thingies, roaring like a beast spat out of hell. But in the center of it all was the most important figure. He dressed in green and gold, but shone a malevolent shade of red._

_Suddenly, it was him and only him, towering over me. He was holding a still beating heart. But who’s-_

_I looked down to see the hole in my own chest and blood pumping out of the wound._

_“Please,” I whispered._

_But his ever white teeth flashed into a smile as he bit into my still beating-_

 I jolted awake, sweat dripping down my brow. A quick glance at my phone told me it was past noon and different glance told me that there was no apocalypse outside. Well that was a relief.

Groaning, I urged myself out of bed. My dream had been particulary intense and left me feeling more drained than rested. But I was getting used to waking up tired; I’d been seeing the destruction of the world on repeat for the past couple of months. It was starting to give me the creeps.

“Boil, boil, toil and trouble,” I murmured halfheartedly to myself. This wasn’t the first time I’d been plagued by relentless and bizarre dreams. It started when I hit puberty, every couple of years I would get reoccurring dreams of some horrific event that lasted for about six months or so, and then they would stop. My dad said that they were prophesies of coming misfortune.

         My dad was also high at the time.

         He was high almost of the time.

         I mean, you had to be some sort of whacked out junkie to name your daughter Verdandi. Luckily, growing up a tomboy, I had settled into the moniker Andi just fine, but he really hadn’t made it easy for me.

        I sighed as I went through my morning routine, trying to put all thoughts of my errant father back into the never-think-about-ever category. Instead I tried to focus on my plans for my day off. After months of saving, I had purchased a brand new DSLR camera and I wanted to go try it. Given that this was the first day in three weeks I wasn’t working a double at the diner, I couldn’t think of a better time to get snap-happy.

        It didn’t take long for me to brush my teeth and gulp down a breakfast shake. I probably should have brushed my hair, but the mass of red curls seemed like way too much of a battle. Maybe if I tamed them a little more my coworkers wouldn’t call me the female Gimli. Then again, John Rys Davis was pretty hot, so maybe it wasn’t that bad of a thing to-

I snorted at my own line of thought and hurried with getting dressed. I picked a basic black cami and shirt, and then struggled for about ten minutes with getting my jeans on. Sighing, I poked my belly. “Listen, I am size sixteen. These are size eighteen pants. You will fit, do you understand?”

Of course my stomach didn’t answer, and it only took a minute or two of rolling around on my bed to get my pants up over my thunder thighs. After that bit of a work out, I grabbed my already prepared camera and rushed out of my little studio apartment.

I was down the building’s stairs and out the door before any of my chatty neighbors would halt me with mundane conversations about work, or the weather. Not that I didn’t like my neighbors, but I was on a mission. A mission that involved trekking through the forest at the edge of town.

It was just a quick ten minute walk through yards and between houses before I reached the harsh line of trees that marked the edge of suburbia. The greenery had once been much larger, but three new subdivisions had caused the woods to be cut back drastically. I personally had never been in them since I had moved, but I was eager to get some nature shots before the rest was all cut down.

I would like to say that I moved gracefully through the forest like I belonged there, but let’s face it, I was a two hundred lb, 5’8 ginger who was in a hurry. I tromped over the moraine like an elephant and I loved every minute of it.

I hummed an aimless tune to myself while I scanned for the perfect place to break in my new baby. I could _feel_ that I was almost there, and excitement started to bubble up in my stomach. I knew it was going to be the best day ever.

Nothing could dull my mood as I moved through the trees, even when I came upon a huge hill that was almost completely vertical. A little climb was not going to stop me.  

Swinging my camera bag so it was safely resting on my back, I grabbed some roots sticking out of the hill face and pulled myself up the steep slope. For once my normally impractical steel toed boots came in handy as I kicked out foot holds for myself.

The song I was humming took on a decidedly more determined edge as I moved up the mini-mountain, but I wasn’t letting anything slow me down while I had so little daylight left to do all that I wanted to do. I had been defeated by a lot of things in life, but a hill wasn’t going to be one of them.

Luckily it didn’t take too long to reach the lip of dirt and grass, and I pulled myself over the crest. Instantly my breath was taken away. I _knew_ it!

Before me was a massive tree, perhaps the largest I had ever seen, with yew colored branches reaching high above the rest of the forest line. Its trunk was stories tall, and ended in a mass of tangled roots that had to be at least twenty feet long. A stream of what had to be the cleanest, clearest water I had ever seen bubbled out from beneath it, and a handful of deer were resting in the lush green carpet stretching out from it.

“I think I’m in heaven,” I whispered to myself.

As quietly as I could, I pulled my camera out and chose my lense. Never before had I been so thrilled to do a light test. Somehow I managed to take a picture without it blurring from my excited shaking, but the composition was all wrong. If I didn’t want the tree to be backlit, it had to be in the dead center of my photograph, and I wasn’t feeling that for this shot. Making sure my camera strap was secure around my neck, I moved along the lip to find a better spot.

I got maybe four feet before there was a cracking sound that ripped through the forest. My head snapped up and I saw a giant branch crashing down through the foliage toward me.

Thinking fast, I dodged to the side. Unfortunately, I moved so fast, that I didn’t have time to remember that I was on the crest of a valley and there was no ground to land on.

Whoops…

And so I fell, rolling like a snowball, until I slammed into something hard. Wheezing, I opened my eye and shook my head, realizing I had been stopped by a root. It was even bigger up close.

Allowing myself a groan, I righted myself and staggered to my feet. The first thing I checked was my camera, and I was relieved to see that other than being a little dirty, it was fine. Second thing I did was check my face, making sure I still had both eyes. Yup, check.

Finally, I took a breath and examined where I fell to. I was at the base of the valley, just a few feet from where the stream started flowing from the roots. Well, at least I still was going to get some great shots.

I popped my neck and dusted myself off, then got right back to what I had planned to do all along. I started by focusing on the steam, seeing if I could get my camera low enough to still show the length of the flow, but not catch my reflection off the water. It took a few tries, but eventually I felt satisfied with the effect, and turned towards the tree itself.

Out of nowhere, a wave of dizziness crashed into me, and I had to steady myself against a root. The moment my fingertips touched the wood, the feeling intensified until I was hardly able to stand up. Vision fuzzy, I looked around for something to help –not that I had any idea what would. Knowing there was nothing out here in the forest that would magically stop my oncoming nausea, I was surprised when my eye landed on a large dark shape at the base of the tree.

Abruptly, the dizziness and spinning stopped, and my head was clear. I breathed out through my nose, confused, but suddenly absolutely certain that I needed to see what that shape was. Without any hesitation, my feet spurred me towards it, bringing me closer and closer until I realized exactly what it was. A door.

A door in a tree in a valley in the woods.

…Sure, that was _totally_ normal.

But no matter what sarcastic barb my conscious spit out, I knew I had to open that door. Its pull was irresistible, and I wasn’t exactly fighting. I’d read enough YA novels throughout my childhood to know strange things like this were always where an adventure started, and hell if I was going to give up on my chance to experience something that wasn’t so mundane as real life.

Finally I reached the door, and could see it was carved from black stone. Obsidian maybe? And words were carved into its glossy surface. Entranced, I let my fingers trace the symbols.

“Yg…gdrass…il…” I sounded out, unable to quell the anxious tug within me. There was something familiar about the word, like some echo from my past, but I couldn’t place it. I could only hear the insistent whispers of my mind to go through.

Who was I to argue? I took a deep breath, and pulled open the heavy door.  For a fleeting moment I worried that I was making the wrong decision, but then I stepped into the blackness.

For a while I just seemed to float in nothingness. Had I died? I had probably died… in fact, I was pretty sure I was dead.

How boring.

But just when I was about to voice my complaint about the dull afterlife, color swirled into my vision and the world rebuilt itself around me. It took less than a second, and I realized I was standing in some sort of concrete hallway.

I let out the breath I had been holding since walking into the tree, and tried to wrap my mind around what had happened. I was pretty sure I had just been teleported, and last I checked, that was hella weird.

Someone jolted in front of me, and my eye snapped to a figure sitting on a bench. His back was to me, and mostly covered by a cape. That was so not in fashion. Unless I was in Europe… which I guess I could be. I wasn’t exactly sure on the teleportation range of ancient trees in forests, they didn’t really teach that in college. For all I knew, I had been transported to another planet and this was the infamous green man all those UFO stories were full of.

Wait a minute, green. And gold. Slick black hair-

My breath hitched in my throat, and before I could move, the figure suddenly whirled on me, and had the sharp blade of its staff against my throat.

“What are you doing here?”

Oh dear lord that voice.

All of my words died as I could only look up in horror at the face that had been haunting my dreams for the past months. Alabaster skin, raven dark hair, and an enticing mouth that brought only lies and hurt. He was painfully beautiful, and I was terrified.

“I do not recognize you, Midgardian.” He continued, lowering his staff from my neck to my collarbone. “And you’re not under my control. So I repeat, how did you get in here?”

Somehow I managed to swallow and wet my mouth enough to speak. “Floo powder, actually.”

He gave me a curious look then shrugged, “We could always use another maid, I suppose.”

Before I could think of another oh-so-clever response, he tipped his staff down and the blade touched the center of my chest.

What felt like cold lightening hit my spine and I don’t know how I kept standing. A silent scream tried to rip its way out of my throat, but then my mind was suddenly flashing with pictures.

_A giant metal ship rose from the clouds before disappearing entirely._

_A museum full of well-dressed men and women._

_An arrow exploding in a turbine._

_A blond man falling in a glass cage._

_Explosions. Screaming. Blood._

As suddenly as they started, the images vanished, and I was standing in the weird hall with the strange man again. I drew in a shaky breath, heart pounding, but one glace at his face stilled that very same intake of air.

He knew.

Oh god, he had seen.

A moment of silence passed between us, while we both figured out exactly what happened, but then his hand was at my throat and he was pushing me backwards until I was pressed against the wall.

“What are you?”

I looked up at that maliciously beautiful face, and found all my words had disappeared again. I had never been so thoroughly terrified as he towered over me. I wasn’t used to being towered over, or manhandled, or choked.

“I do not like to repeat myself.” He squeezed harder and closed the distance between us. Even if I had had an answer, I couldn’t say anything now. But apparently I didn’t have to, because he jabbed me with the staff again, this time harder. The lightning struck again, and my mind rushed off.

_A giant metal ship rose from the clouds before disappearing entirely._

_A museum full of well-dressed men and women._

_An arrow exploding in a turbine._

_A blond man falling in a glass cage._

_Explosions. Screaming. Blood._

I gasped when it ended, only to have my air still cut off by his pale hand. I succeeded in making a sputtering/spittle sound before he stabbed me again.

Same lightning, same rush, same vision. When it stopped he was staring me down balefully. “How are you doing this?” He seethed. “What are you?”

But he was still clamping my airway with vice-like strength, so I could only claw at his pale wrists, a helpless kitten facing down a dragon. Finally, I managed a wheeze, and motioned him closer with a beckoning finger. Mercifully, he loosened his grip on my neck, and tilted his head so his ear was closer to me. I murmured something, I didn’t even know what, but he moved even closer.

“Speak up, before I end you.”

I knew my stalling tactic wouldn’t work much longer, so I did the only thing I could. I scrunched my eyebrows as hard as I could while jerking my face forward, and my eye flew out to smack my attacker right in the cheek.

He dropped me and I sank to my knees, coughing like my life depended on it. …which it probably did. I had never gulped air so greedily, and for several blissful seconds I was full of relief and happiness. But then the man in green bent down so he filled my vision, glass eye rolling between his long, slender fingers.

“Cute.” He murmured, smirk evident.

“Thanks,” I wheezed, rubbing my throat. I don’t know what came over me as I looked him directly in the face. “Any chance I could have it back?”

“Of course,”

I wasn’t sure what to make of his genial reply, but his hand gripped the top of my head with strength that seemed inhuman, holding me still.

“What ar-”

Then it clicked exactly what he was doing, and less than a second later, his other hand shoved my eye so hard into my socket I thought I heard bone crunch.

“All better,” He mused, releasing his grip to ruffle my hair.

I managed a weak whimper, before promptly vomiting over myself and his shoes. There was another one of those weird silences.

“Much better.” I muttered, before passing out. 


	2. Fighting the Good Fight

The first thing I realized was that I had the worst morning breath I could remember.

The second thing I realized what that I was conscious again.

Reality came rushing back to me and I pushed myself off the cold concrete floor. I was able to get into somewhat of a sitting position before my head protested painfully. Swearing, I tried to bring my hands up to massage my scalp, but they jerked to a halt about halfway to their destination.

Blinking blearily, my mind scrambled to figure out what was going on. It was then I realized that I was chained to the floor, zip ties tight against my thick wrists.

“A little overkill.” I muttered grumpily, eyeing the empty room around me. I was trapped, it wasn’t like my fat ass was going to turn into a ninja and suddenly jitsu my way out of there just because my hands were free.

That actually startled a laugh out of me, which I immediately regretted as my throat protested. It was _not_ happy. Apparently being strangled, vomiting and deprived water for who knows how long was not good for your health. The more you know.

I looked to the door, waiting for the man from my dream to come in. People in movies always had it so easy- the bad guy always came in a moment or two after they woke up. Unfortunately, I had no idea how long my captor was going to make me wait.

I also had no idea what had happened. Or how a tree had brought me face to face with magic staff man. Or how that staff thingie had caused my vision thingies.

Yeah… apparently I had no ideas at all.

Wait, where was my camera?

I patted myself as best I could before realization sunk in. It was gone.

“Mother _fucker._ ” I hissed, slamming my fists against my cushy thighs. I had saved up for months for that, and now, on top of being chained in some madman’s storage closet, I had lost it before getting to fill up my memory card. That was so unfair!

But life didn’t seem to care how much of a bitch she was being, because my camera didn’t suddenly appear and neither did my captor. So I just sat there, fuming, and half of my face throbbing. I hated to think what my socket looked like after the abuse it had suffered, not that it normally was a pretty sight.

I had been born with only one eye, and had reconstructive surgery as a baby to make a cavity large enough to fit a glass prosthetic into. Goodness knows who made that call considering my mother had fled from the hospital as soon as she shot me out of her vagina. Sure, I had been bullied about it as a kid, but even if I had two working peepers, I’m sure being a fat ginger would have probably given my classmates plenty of ammunition.

Thoughts of my childhood really made me crave the slurpees I used to get on the walk home from school, and I was reminded of exactly how thirsty I was, and just how bad my mouth tasted. If I had known my day on the town was going to end with fountaining up my breakfast shake, I would have packed mints.

But alas, I had no drink and no way to freshen my rancid breath, so I just sat there for hours, wondering if maybe I was still in the dream I had this morning.

Finally, the door swung open, and _he_ was standing there. If I thought he was intimidating when we were both standing, he was a million times more terrifying from my position on the floor.

“You are human.” He said, sounding both disappointed and disgusted at the same time. I was kinda impressed at the amount of loathing he could fit into four syllables.

“Put that together yourself?” What was I thinking? And why was I mouthing off to the man I had seen kill me every night for the past quarter of a year?

“I had my doctor examine you.” He raised an eyebrow at my confused expression, now looking ever so suave and pleased with himself. “I have one or two under my thrall, and they all confirm it.  You’re from Midgar. You’re just a lowly, weak,” with every word he took another step into the room and I felt myself shrink inside. “ignorant, _useless_ human.” Now he was directly in front of me, and it took everything in me not to tremble in terror. This was a dream. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t real-

He grabbed my bruised face, cutting off my denial. “So how is it a mere human is having visions of things she couldn’t know anything about?”

“I..I don’t know.” I sputtered, entranced, panicky and feeling the urge to vomit again. “I don’t even know who _you_ are!”

At this he drew himself up to his full height, for all the world looking like a peacock as he displayed his proud plumage. “I am Loki Laufeyson. I am a god, and I am burdened with glorious purpose. And y-”

“Wait, Loki the norse god? Like.. the trickster?”

His eyes narrowed minutely, “You’re familiar with Norse mythos?”

“A bit,” I answered tritely. “But those are myths, not reality.”

He bent down again and his inhumanly beautiful face was too close to mine. “You’d be surprised how much of what isn’t supposed to be, actually is truth.”

“Oh,” I was quiet for a moment before I felt my goddamn mouth run off again. “But isn’t it awkward that your dad rides your horse baby around?”

I felt the impact of his slap before I even knew he moved, and my face slammed into the floor. Groaning, I sat up and wiped blood from my nose. Why was I such an idiot? Did I have a death wish?

“You will be careful how to speak to your god, you ignorant wretch! I could end your life the same way you would crush an ant!”

“Then why haven’t you?” I hissed, tired of the dramatics. I liked to think of myself as a practical girl- after all, I had lived on my own since I was seventeen, but I couldn’t help but feel like if this guy was going to kill me, he might as well get it over with and let me go up to the big cheese in the sky, or whatever there was up there.

To my surprise, he started chuckling. I made no effort to hide my confusion, but that only seemed to add to his mirth. “I think you might be useful, you disgusting beast. These visions, or whatever you have, could be the very thing I need to complete my plans. So be a good girl, and cooperate, and I won’t have to harm you.” The offer didn’t seem so bad, but then I saw him raising that damned staff again. I sent him a begging look, but it didn’t even slow him from pressing the tip to my chest.

_A woman with short red hair spoke urgently to a man with glasses. He looked normal, but green seethed violently just below his skin._

_Several very muscled men and the woman talked in a room while someone in an eye patch yelled._

_Explosions. Fire. The glasses man writhing on the floor, frame rippling and buckling._

_A green giant ripping through a narrow hall._

There was a snap, and the deluge of images stopped. I hiccupped violently as I tried to catch my breath, unnerved by Loki’s gaze boring into me.

“So very interesting,” He murmured, his expression reminding me of when a cat had caught a mouse and was playing with it. “You resist my thrall, but you show me a lovely prophesy each time. One would think fate has given me a little gift.” The point of his staff passed my face and he poked at my mass of red curls. “You’d think fate could wrap it a little prettier, but I suppose one shouldn’t be picky.” He smiled wolfishly at me, teeth white, perfect and menacing. My mind was filled with the image of him biting into my heart again, but luckily he wasn’t privy to this particular flash.

His long, cool fingers stoked the side of my face, jolting me from my traumatize reverie. Startled, I tried to jerk back, but his hand fisted in my hair and pulled me close.

“Tell me, who is the woman you saw?”

“I don’t know.” I spat, trying to keep my voice steely.

“What is this metal beast they are on? Their agents have told me nothing of it.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you didn’t ask them clearly enough!”

With that he let me go and stood, looking enlightened. “Perhaps I didn’t.” He strode to the door, armored boots barely making any sound against the stone floor. But before he left, he paused in the entrance. “You were a good girl, and I always reward my pets when they obey.” With that he snapped, and a goblet of water appeared in front of me. I snatched it up and gulped it down without a moment’s hesitation. By the time I finished, the door was already closed and he was gone.

“Well,” I murmured to myself. “I guess its nap time.”

                                                *

 

The sudden slamming of a door shocked me from my sleep, and for a moment I was deliriously confused as to why I was on a stone floor, and why I hadn’t had any dreams.

Oh yeah, I was the captive of a Norse god of trickery. That had happened.

I looked to the entrance of my room and saw Loki standing there, with his slick black hair and enraged eyes looking like death himself come to greet me.

“Something wrong?” I murmured sluggishly.

“It is called the helicarrier.”

“Is that supposed to mean something?”

“I _inquired_ about your vision to Agent Barton,” I got the sinking feeling I owed this Agent Barton an apology. “He gave me quite the detailed description. Apparently it’s nigh invulnerable.”

“Oh, well that sucks.”

He raised his eyebrow and I realized what this all meant. “You’re going to poke me again.”

He cocked his head to the side, and shot me such a debonair look I felt my heart flutter. This man-god-thing was deadly. “If you don’t mind?”

I sighed and sat up. “Guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not at all.”

He stepped forward, then gold mental touched my skin and my mind was rushing off again.

_The muscled men and woman argued, each one yelling louder than the other. Except for one who was snacking on something that looked delicious._

_A man in a blue uniform played video games on his council._

_Another man in the same uniform lay down in his cot_

_A woman ate oatmeal slowly, dreading another long day at the helm._

Just like before the visions stopped without warning, and I crashed into the present like an alcoholic that was texting and driving. I didn’t know how I was having these strange dream-visions every time he poked me, but I did know that Loki was _not_ happy.

“Are you testing me?” I shook my head earnestly, heart pounding yet again, but his look of undiluted fury did not fade. “If you want to live, I advise you do not show me such useless drivel!”

“I don’t even know how I’m doing this!” I argued back. Yup, I was insane. I had to be. “Let alone how to control them! What do you want from me?”

His answer was to jab me in the chest again. I was pretty sure I was bleeding from the shallow scratch, but I couldn’t protest before I was whisked away. For the umpteenth time.

_The muscled men and woman argued, each one yelling louder than the other. Except for one who was snacking on something that looked delicious._

_A man in a blue uniform played video games on his council._

_Another man in the same uniform lay down in his cot_

_A woman ate oatmeal slowly, dreading another long day at the helm._

“No, no, no!” He hissed. I was sure this was the moment where he would reach out and end me, but instead his hand fisted in my scarlet ringlets, and he pulled me up as much as the chain would allow. “Show me something useful!” Another jab, and yet again the same vision played itself, like a youtube video on repeat. After that, more jabby, and more of the same show. And then another.  “SHOW ME!”

_Sharp, white teeth buried themselves in the crook between a pale neck and shoulder._ My _shoulder._

_Loki, towering over me yet again; me on my knees with his long, elegant fingers in my hair as he pulled me toward the juncture of his legs._

_My bare back, mottled with bruises and hand prints, sheets bunched about my waist as I moved rhythmically above the Norse god on an ornate bed._

_His hand wrapped around my throat as tears dripped down my scratched face._

Just like all the others, this vision ended abruptly, and I was left looking up into the eyes of the man I had just seen molest me.

I promptly threw up again.

This time Loki had the wherewithal to take a step back and avoid my Technicolor shout. He looked just as displeased as I felt, only less pukey. He waited patiently until I finished retching, before his staff connected sharply with my ribs. I collapsed in a heap, barely missing the still warm mass of vomit.

“Do not flatter yourself, human. I could have any goddess or Midgardian I want, and you are by far, the least appealing I have ever met.”

“No problems,” I wiped my mouth and tried to lean away from my mess. “I’m happy to be over here in the unattractive zone.” Who knew that being chubby, tall, ginger Cyclops would work out for me? “Maybe these things are faulty?”

He gave me another one of his looks, this one halfway between being amused and wanting to gut me. Then again, for this mad man, maybe there wasn’t a line between those two notions.

“I advise you pray to whatever deity you believe in, because next time I will be less than patient should you become so off-track.” And with that he whirled out. He didn’t even give me any water this time. That was disappointing.

Sighing, I realized that I was going to be stuck for hours right next to a quickly congealing pool of my breakfast. That was unacceptable. With a grunt, I shrugged my over shirt down my arms until it pooled around my wrists. Then, I sat back and tucked my feet into a crease in the fabric, pushing until the sleeves ripped and I was able to tear a large part of the fabric off. I wiped up what I could with my scrap, and tried to push the rest farther away from me. Once I did all that I could, there was nothing I could do but sit as far away as my chains would allow and try to think about anything else. After a few hours of mindless wondering, my eyes settled closed.

 

This time I woke slowly and naturally, feeling remotely better after my second mini-nap. I wondered briefly how much time had passed. It couldn’t have been more than a day and a half, but it was hard to tell. Surely by now someone would notice I was gone? I didn’t have a significant other, or any real close friends, but certainly work would say something when I missed my second shift in a row. That had to be coming up soon. What if they called?

Called? My cell phone!

Hope rushed through me as I patted myself down, holding my breath that somehow the ‘god’ who held me captive had messed up. I knew it was next to impossible, and I was sure I wouldn’t find anything, but I felt a surge of joy rush through me when my hand alighted on something rectangular and hard tucked into my bra.

For the first time in my life I was grateful I had cleavage large enough to hide a smart phone, and I giddily pulled it out from its hiding spot. The battery was almost dead, but I couldn’t have been happier. Moving faster than I ever had before, I quickly dialed 911.

“911, what is your eme-”

“I’ve been kidnapped! I’m being held hostage-”

“M’mam, calm down.”

“Calm down?” I snapped. “Listen, I will calm down when I stop getting stabbed in the chest. Now I don’t know where I am, but I’m pretty sure I have a broken cheekbone and it’s only going to get worse, so why don’t you use your fancy gps satellites and _get me out of here_.”

I expected the lady to retort again. What I did not expect was for the phone to suddenly burst into flames in my hand. Screeching, I threw it across the room and watched in terror as it sizzled and popped. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew that Loki had done that. Which meant he knew that I had tried to make a call.

I was in trouble.

Sure enough, the door to my prison slammed open, and Loki filled the space once more. How could one slim man be so frightening?

“You idiotic little cretin.” He hissed, stepping in and closing the door behind him. If I wasn’t already petrified, that definitely scared me. He had never shut the door prior. “I extend my mercy to you and you repay me with betrayal?”

This time it was his boot that lashed out and it caught me in the shoulder. I went down hard, and couldn’t hold back a yelp. But the strangled sound was interrupted as he slammed his staff into my back, knocking the air from my lungs.

Gasping, I rolled over to face him, arms up to protect myself. I should have known better because the staff came down again, sharp blade slicing at my arms. They were shallow cuts, but enough to make me scream and drop them. Whimpering, I made no move to protect myself as the staff came towards my chest.

_Loki walked down a hall, escorted by several soldiers on either side._

_A man in a suit leveled a weapon at the dark haired god._

_The blond man with the beard dove into the glass cage._

_An older woman who shone with golden light looked down from an ornate balcony, a piece of broken green and gold armor in her hand._

_Loki’s fingers grabbed at my love handles, squeezing harder and harder until red rose to the surface around his nails._

Reality hit just as hard as my captor did, and I half gasped, half panted and I tried to get my breathing back on track.

To my surprise, Loki was still and his expression was neutral. I waited for several seconds for his angry outburst at another useless vision, before I realized his attention wasn’t on my face at all. Following his gaze, I noticed his eyes were cemented firmly on my chest.

In our struggle my cammi had slipped far below my bra-line, leaving pretty much the entire top part of my cleavage exposed. Now normally I wasn’t really the kind of girl who had to deal with negative male attention, but I suddenly knew very much that I did not like it.

I moved my arms to cover my breasts, but a jab from the staff into my shoulder froze me in my tracks. Then slowly, achingly slowly, he dragged the sharp point of the staff down, catching at the neck of my undershirt and continuing to pull it lower.

I closed my eyes, my heart pounding so hard I’m surprised it didn’t break my own ribs. I could feel him reveal my bra completely, I was very much regretting that I didn’t wear my normal three sports bras I did when I worked at the diner. Any sort of extra protection against his baleful gaze would have been much appreciated. I was technically still fully clothes, but I felt vulnerable and helpless. When I was fairly certain I was about to cry, the staff stilled. I froze as well, unable to move a muscle or even breathe until Loki made his move.

He stood there silently for what seemed like an eternity, then the staff’s pressure was gone and so was he.

I jolted up, covering myself once again, but nothing could stop the sickly feeling in my stomach. I had to get out. And soon.

 


	3. Disciplining the Pet

Somehow I managed to fall asleep again, but it was only for an hour or so. I was aware that I couldn’t have been held in my prison for more than two days, but I could feel myself going stir crazy. Even my legs were throbbing angrily from always having to lie, sit or kneel. I wanted to walk around, stretch, you know…do stuff.

My stomach growled voraciously, joining the chorus of complaining body parts. I knew I was hungry, but I wasn’t sure what it wanted me to do about it. I wasn’t exactly at Ol’ Country Buffet.  I was also aware that I smelled pretty rank. Not that I normally went around wafting of roses and lilacs, but after upchucking three times and bleeding all over myself, I definitely needed a shower.

Speaking of bleeding all over, I patted my face gently, trying to feel out the extent of the damage. My cheekbone was still puffy and hot to the touch, but everything else seemed relatively okay. I mean, the cut inside my cheek from his slap wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it wasn’t that big of a deal either.

After finishing my inspection, I realized I really had nothing left to do, so I flopped back and looked up at the concrete ceiling. What exactly was a god doing here on earth? I assumed I was still on earth. …I would like to still be on earth. It made escape seem an iota more possible to not be stranded on an alien planet. Last thing I needed was to re-enact my own personal version of ET.

The door opened, interrupting my new imagining of the classic Spielberg flick, and I jerked into a sitting position. Surprisingly, my tormentor wasn’t at the door. Instead, two generic looking women with slightly glowing blue eyes entered.

I made no move as they neared me, then cut the ties around my wrists. I rubbed at my soft flesh, happy to have circulation, but not exactly thrilled with the raw rings of red on my skin. “What’s up?” I ground out, trying not to sound like the petrified little coward I was.

“We are escorting you so you can relieve yourself.”

Oh yeah, the potty. That was a great idea actually. I managed to get to my feet with only a little help- okay, they practically had to haul me up- and slowly shuffled into the hall.

I tried to pay attention while my escorts lead/dragged me through whatever building I was in, but everything looked the same. Concrete and bare, or covered in what looked like ramshackle laboratories. Sparks flew occasionally, and there was a constant buzz of electricity going about, but no signs or hints of how I could escape. It wasn’t like I could MacGyver any of the tech lying around.

Finally we reached our destination, what looked to be kind of a locker room with showers along one wall. Perhaps this building had meant to be some sort of gym? I snorted at the idea of being held prisoner at a Planet Fitness. _That_ would make a great story.

The women pushed me forward into the showers, and I realized they were not going anywhere. Well… that was kinda awkward. But in grand scheme of things, letting two zombified women stare at me naked wasn’t so bad that I would skip out on a shower.

And so I stripped. It was difficult, especially unclasping my bra when my shoulders were so stiff and bruised, but I managed to get it done without falling over. After getting a good look at my discarded camisole, jeans and underthings, I realized they were filthy, so I laid them out in an adjacent shower and turned the water on high. Then I busied with cleaning myself.

Luckily there was a bar of soap already in the holding in the wall, and I scrubbed my legs and armpits as best I could. The hot water stung at the scratches on my chest, but felt like magic across my bruises. Although I had no idea how clean it was, I held my mouth open under the spray. Who knew when I would get to drink again?

I didn’t really want to think about it.

Unfortunately, after what seemed like hardly any time at all, one of the women stepped forward, and turned off the water.

“It is time to return.”

I wanted to argue, but I held my tongue. Silently, I went over to my clothes and started ringing my cammi and my jeans out. I left my underwear to the side, an idea starting to form in my head.

After a minute or two of struggling with the damp cloth, I was relatively dressed, and turned to face my guards, bra in hand.

“Ready.” I murmured.

We started moving, but we hardly even got to the locker room door before I slipped on the wet tile. I crashed to my knees, and stayed there until one of the women bent down to help me up.

That’s when I took my chance.

I shot up as fast as I could and head butted her square on. She staggered, and I used the opportunity to tackle the other one before she could turn. We fell to the floor, and I wrapped my bra around her throat and pulled back as hard as I could.

She fought, boy did she fight, but I had four inches and at least fifty pounds on her. It took less than thirty seconds for her kicking and writhing to still, and I quickly let her go. I wanted her unconscious. Not dead.

The other one started to right herself, so I pulled open the door as hard as I could. The wood slammed against her head and she sank to the floor too. I definitely did not think that was going to work.

I tore off through the hall before I could realize exactly what I was doing and freeze up. It was now or never, and preferably NOW.

Obviously I had never been much for running, but I didn’t let that stop me now. My boots pounded down the concrete floor like my life depended on it. Which… you know… it did.

I wasn’t sure where I was going, all I knew was that I trusted my feet to lead me out of here the same way they lead me in. What I didn’t expect, was for the ground to drop right out from under me.

I screamed as I fell into blackness, unable to see or hear anything. Strangely, I didn’t feel myself land, but I did stop falling. But comparatively speaking, that ranked pretty low on my bizarr-o scale, and I pulled myself together and started to feel around.

I must have fallen into some sort of trap, or construction zone. I didn’t exactly know what either of those meant for my chances of survival, but all I knew was that I had to keep moving.

So I did. My hands stretched out until they met wall, and I shuffled along, feel sweeping out in wide arcs to make sure I didn’t fall. The going was slow, and arduous, but I couldn’t hear anyone pursuing me. Maybe I could make it after all. Maybe I-

Like someone flipping a switch, the darkness vanished and I was standing right in the middle of the same gray hallway leading to my room. My mind churned futilely, trying to comprehend what happened, and my spasm gaze landed on none other than my captor standing less than five feet in front of me.

“An illusion?” I squeaked breathlessly.

He raised an eyebrow and ice water ran through my veins. I tried to turn and run, but was yanked backwards off my feet by his hand in my hair.

“ _Please!_ ” I cried as he dragged me down the hall by my curls. “I didn’t mean to! I’ll be good, I swear!”

But all my kicking and screaming didn’t even slow him down as he calmly strode back to my room. Frantically my fingers splayed out, trying to grab onto something, _anything_ , but my struggles were useless. I couldn’t even slow him down.

We reached the entrance of my prison and he threw me in. I let out a gross sob at the sudden relief from the fiery pain in my scalp, but it was drowned out by the sound of him slamming the door shut behind him.

“You villainous little rat.” He hissed, venom dripping from every word. “You vile, disgusting _beast_.” He strode forward and pulled me up by my neck. My toes just barely touched the floor as I tried to keep my ability to breathe, and his glare was murderous. “I let you live, give you water and means to clean yourself, and you repay me with treachery?” A tight lipped smile graced his face and I felt my terror double itself. “I almost wonder if you like being disciplined.”

“Please,” I started to beg, but before I could even get a whole phrase out, his other hand was on my already injured face, his thumb bearing down just under my glass eye.

An unearthly shriek sounded throughout my cell, and it took a moment to realize it was me. Pain unlike anything I had ever felt before shot through my body, and I was sure I was going to throw up again. But before I could, my prosthetic popped out and Loki dropped me.

“If it weren’t for your convenient little visions, you would be dead twice over.” He spat, twirling my eye between his fingers.

That’s when it clicked, and I fell onto my back. Laughter burst out of my mouth, unbidden, but I just couldn’t help it.

“What is this?” Loki snapped, looking equal parts mystified and enraged.

I tried to find the words, but it was difficult around my desperate peals of mirth. “I’m a Mary Sue! Oh god, I’m actually a Mary Sue!” His look only grew more baffled, but that just made me laugh harder. “Man, if I had known that my entire life, thing would have gone so much differently!” I sat up, and tried to shoot him a look over my shoulder. “Tell me, does my pure innocence make you want to destroy me?”

His response was to bring his hand down across my face and I fell back to the floor. But the laughter didn’t stop. “Guess not that one,” I sat up again, this time bringing my arms up and flexing my muscles. “Does my stubborn attitude and unwillingness to bow to you make you want to break me even more?” Another hit and I was back on the ground. But I couldn’t stop the laughter. How _ridiculous._ After all my struggles, all my fighting to get out from a drug addict dad in the slums and make a life for myself, I was stuck being the poppet of a mad man deity because I got mind-movies when he poked me with his staff. Brilliant. Utterly brilliant!

I could have laughed for an eternity, but then his hand was in my hair again, pulling at my already abused scalp until I was on my knees before him. “You will respect me, you insipid quim!”

“Dude, you’re holding me prisoner and using me whenever you want with these dream things! Where does respect play into this? You’re getting what you want, and I may be powerless against you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t fight you every step of the way.” A short bark of laughter fought its way past my lips. “Wow, I even sound like a Mary Sue now. Look at that.”

He shook my head violently, never letting go of his hold in my locks. “You will _obey._ ”

I don’t know where I got the strength to answer him, but I was fairly certain I was insane. “Sorry. Your staff can do a lot of things, but it can’t control me. And so it seems, neither can you. So you deal me with, or you _kill_ me. It’s that simple.” He glowered down at me, brimming with rage and no doubt homicidal intent, but I didn’t care. I actually had the gall to smirk at him. “Your move.”

He didn’t say anything for a few ticks, and my bravado started to fade. Then, a sickly, self-satisfied smile crept across his face until I felt like I was about to be devoured. “How cute. The rat trying to be the lion.” His other hand dropped my eye, and stroked my face again. “But I know you, pitiful little thing. You’re prideful, and make a loud noise, but it’s so easy to break that very pride that makes you so stubborn. You just need to be shown who your Master really is.”

“What are you-”

“Shhhh, my pet.” He murmured sweetly, thumb resting over my lips as he tilted my head up. “There’s a better use for that vapid little mouth.”

I broke into a cold sweat as all life drained out of me. He couldn’t mean- I wasn’t-but he-

His hand left my face and travelled under his own tunic. He seemed to be untying something and my world suddenly ground to a halt around me. This couldn’t be happening. I was not the pretty girl who the bad guy would lust after. I was not the naively beautiful ingénue. I was me and this _could not be happening_.

But it was. While my mind was still wheeling, Loki parted his robes and I came face to face with his godhood.

I bit back the urge to vomit, and I wasn’t quite sure how I maintained consciousness. Sure, I had seen penises in my fair share of porn, but never one so up close. My hands flew to his thighs and I tried to push myself away, but he just laughed at me.

“Come now, pet. Let’s make one of those lovely prophesies of yours come true.”

“No, please,” I begged, trying to turn my head away. But his grip in my hair was like iron. Inescapable and cold. “I’ll behave. I’ll be good. I promise.”

“Yes, you will.” He jerked my head forward until I could feel his warm, hard head graze my cheek. “Now open up and receive your god.”

I fought, I really did. I tried scratching at his thighs and holding my head away, but his other hand gripped my cheek and turned me to face him. He was so powerful. How could one man be so strong? How could I possibly resist him?

His nails started to bite into the good side of my face, perilously close to my only working eye, so I complied. He thrust forward with no warning, and I gagged on his length. Tears pooled in my eyes and I felt everything I was cracking around me. I was supposed to be a strong woman, but here I was, powerless on my knees before a Norse myth that found me lower than dirt. It was humiliating, and vile, and I had never hated myself so strongly.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I bit down.

Hard.

Several things happened at once. I was flung back onto the floor, and Loki staggered away, screaming curses. Blood started to well up from his nail mark on my face, but I didn’t have time to care. He had righted himself and was now staring bloody murder at me.

“You will pay for that.” He hissed, voice shaking with fury.

I didn’t have a response, and didn’t really need one, because his fist flew towards my head. It landed with an explosion of pain, and I felt my skull bounce against the ground before blackness swallowed me yet again.

                                                *

 

The first thing I noticed what that I was on something soft. Sluggishly, I opened my eyes. Apparently I was in a bed. A big, cushy bed at that. Blearily, I rubbed my eye and was surprised when my face didn’t throb.

Cautiously, I poked at my previously injured cheekbone. Nothing. No pain, no heat, no puffiness. Even my glass eye was back.

I had _not_ expected that.

Perplexed, I pushed off the plush covers. My shoes were gone, but other than that, I was pretty much the way I had left me. Except for not being beaten to hell and back, but that was a plus.

I rolled my neck and shrugged my shoulders, trying to ignore the growing storm in my belly. My clothes were pretty much dry, so at least a couple of hours had passed. I scanned the room, but my search for some sort of time indication halted when my gaze landed on some break and water left out on a desk.

I rushed over, throwing caution to the wind as I gulped down the still warm hunks of grainy goodness, washing it down with deluges of cool water. I kept expecting some sort of alarm, or trap, or the room to suddenly evaporate around me, but nothing happened. I finished the meal and tentatively sat in a nearby chair.

Now that I was fed, I took a closer look at my surroundings. The room was just as concrete as my previous accommodations, but much more lushly furnished. There was the aforementioned bed, desk, and chair, but there were also maps, armor, and papers cluttered around. This definitely wasn’t just my room. Which meant-

The sound of the door knob turning echoed through the room and I shot to my feet. I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t Loki with a charming smile on his flawless face.

“Glad to see you’ve rejoined the land of the living,” he greeted genially, striding in like we were on the best of terms.

All of the water I had just gulped down did nothing to wet my suddenly parched mouth. I nodded slowly, unsure what to say, or do.

“Did you have a good rest?”

Another nod.

He moved past me, and I jumped back. He sat in the same chair I had just been occupying, and regarded me with that same too-handsome gaze.

“You’ve been very bad, pet.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, lowering my gaze to his feet. My cheeks burned red as what had happened flashed through my mind. It still seemed so surreal. So impossible.

“Are we going to behave from now on?” I nodded yet again. “Good, because I am _so very_ busy and don’t want to waste any more time on discipline. Understood?”

“I-I understand.”

“Good,” The corner of his mouth went up ever so slightly. “Now strip.”

The startled look on my face must have been hilarious, because Loki’s grin only grew more wolfish.

“Come again?”

“Disrobe. Undress. Strip.” He leaned back all the way in his high-backed seat. “Or are we going to need another round of punishment?”

I stood there, frozen, but my mind was racing like a formula one engine. “…no.” I whispered finally.

“I thought so.” He made a sweeping gesture. “Proceed.”

My hands trembled as I brought them up to my sides, unsure of where even to start. I had never felt so ugly and helpless as I did under his unwavering gaze. But both he and I knew there was going to be no mercy here. So I drew a deep breath, unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down.

Internally, I bemoaned my normal lack of layers. If it had been just a bit chillier, I would have more shirts, or bigger undergarments, or _something._ But no, all I had were pant and a girly tank top. It figured.

I finished kicking my jeans to the side, and just stood there, paralyzed by my terror and self-loathing. He knew what he was doing, how to tear me apart and beat me down.

My audience of one cleared his throat, and I moved onto my shirt.

While I had always have a love-hate relationship with my body, I knew since I filled out in puberty that plenty of people were more than appreciative of my oversized assets. Normally I could rock that out with confidence and my fair share of low cut tops. But now, I couldn’t feel anything attractive or desirable about myself. I was just a wretched, ugly human in the presence of a beautiful god.

The shirt went over my head, and I relished the split second I was out of Loki’s intense stare, but then the cloth was gone and I was down to just my panties –my bra lost since I went all Xena on my guards.

I crossed my arms over my chest, tucking my hands into the crooks of my elbows in a vain effort to stop my trembling. I gave my captor my most pleading look, begging him not to make me remove my only scrap of protection.

He raised his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth curled even higher.

No mercy.

It took all of my strength to hook my thumbs into the band of my simple blue panties and pull down. They dropped noiselessly, revealing a curly mass of red. For once I was relieved that I was too lazy to shave, and only trimmed. The scarlet curls gave me one last shield against him.

“Much better.”

I stared past him as he stood, willing myself to believe that I was alone and that he wasn’t there, appraising me like a shark.

One of his cool, alabaster fingers alighted on my shoulder, lazily trailing along my skin as he circled me. Goosebumps followed in his wake, and I crossed my arms over my chest again. Not that it made his piecing gaze cut through me any less.

He orbited me twice before halting in front of me, that goddamn smirk on his face as he sat back down.

“Kneel.”

My legs followed the command of their own accord, but locked when he raised a finger and _tsk_ -ed.

“Closer.”

The shaking had progressed from my hands to my whole body, but somehow I took a step forward, and then another, until he motioned for me to stop just in front of his impromptu throne.

“Perfect.”  

My knees buckled and I crumpled to the ground in front of him. I stared at the floor, wishing it would open up and swallow me whole. Anything to get away.

Loki’s hand found my hair again, but this time it was patting gently instead of ripping. “Oh, I forgot something,” He mused, voice smooth enough to drown in. “I got you a present.”

He snapped and the door opened, allowing three kids to file in.

I blanched, but Loki wouldn’t let me turn my head from them. Their eyes glowed blue like everyone else’s, but other than that, they seemed completely normal.

“Meet Yulia, Benedict, and…” He sent a dazzling smile at the third child. “What was your name again, sweet?”

“Genevieve.”

“Ah yes, Genevieve. All spawn of a few of the local scientists. Say hello, pet.”

“Hello,” I breathed, heart thundering in my chest.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why they’re here,” I nodded, as much as his hand in my halo of curls would allow. “You see, my little poppet, you’re one of those sad, pitiful humans- well, I supposed I should say _especially_ pitiful humans. You have _so little_ to live for, that you’ve build up your pride into this silly thing that consumes you. You’d rather die than cooperate. And that is ever so tiresome, don’t you think?”

I nodded, a sickly feeling coiling in my gut. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real!

“So every time you fight me, or disobey, one of these little girls or boy will die.” He sent another perfect grin. “Who here would like to die first?” To my horror, all three of them raised their hands, looking like they were just offered the world’s best candy. “Come now, let’s not be selfish. Run along, and perhaps I’ll decide later.”

They all nodded and departed, shutting the door behind them. My breath rasped painfully through my throat and mouth, and I tried to think of some way out of everything that was happening, but then Loki was turning my head back to him.

“You see, you think so lowly of yourself, that you would do anything to make sure those precious little cretins aren’t harmed because of you. And do not think that I would hesitate to dispatch them right in front of you. Do you understand?”

I swallowed, trying to find words to fit the situation, but there were none, so I just nodded mutely.

“Very good.” He let go of my hair and settled back again. But instead of resting on the arm of his chair, his nimble hands parted his robes again, exposing the thick black lacing of his pants. “Now I believe there’s a matter we need to attend to.”

I stared up at him, unable to fight the tears pricking at my eyes as fear and hatred rushed through me. “Please,” I whispered, hoping, praying he would find a strand of decency within him.

“Challenging me already? Do I need to call Genevieve back?”

I shook my head emphatically and licked my lips. “No.”

“That’s what I thought.” He patted his thighs expectantly. “Hurry up now, you don’t want to leave your god waiting.”

Yes, yes I most certainly did.

But I left that defiant thought to myself and rose onto my haunches. Carefully, I reached towards the cording between his legs. Not that I would admit it, but I had never done anything like this before. It wasn’t for lack of want, but more I had never been secure enough in my job, or living arrangements to have enough extra energy for a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Tentatively, my fingers brushed the black lacing before tugging at the knot. It came undone relatively easily, and I could feel him harden and twitch below my knuckles.

Forcing myself to breathe, I loosened them the rest of the way, and pulled aside the fabric underneath. I tried not to look at him as I pulled it out, but I could feel the heat and firmness of him in my palm. I sat there for a moment, hand at the base of the perfect marble length, but unsure what else to do. Then I recalled that usually lubrication was needed.

Biting my tongue, I forced saliva to the front of my mouth. Resisting the instinct to vomit and run, I opened my jaw and tentatively licked along the pale pillar.

“That’s better,” He breathed, sinking into the chair. His hand found its way to my hair again, but this time it just patted me appreciatively. I took that as a good sign and continued to lave a trail along his godhood. I guessed my addiction to popsicles and lollipops paid off, because every now and then he would let out a contented sigh or pat me again. I thought maybe this would be over sooner rather than later, when his grip tightened around my curls. “Take it into your mouth.”

I hesitated for a split second, but cooperated. This time he didn’t thrust forward, so thankfully I didn’t gag. It was harder to stretch my mouth around it than I thought, but I managed to keep my lips wrapped around me teeth. The last thing I wanted to do was anything remotely similar to biting. Not after last time.

I bobbed up and down on his length, trying to keep my tongue moving in different patterns. It wasn’t so bad if I just thought about it like some strange challenge I could defeat. I could just close my eyes and pretend this wasn’t rape.

Loki tensed below my hands, and his fingers started to tug at me again. “Yes, pet. Serve your god.”

I almost rolled my eyes, but forced myself to keep going. If I was doing good, this would be over sooner. I took his tugs as encouragement and increased my pace. I found myself able to go deeper and deeper on his length until I was able to encase all of it behind my lips. When I did, Loki let out an appreciative groan and his hips rose off the chair. For a brief moment I felt a thrill of power go through me. I was the one in charge here, and the Norse god was at my mercy.

But then both of his hands were in my hair and he was suddenly thrusting again. My hands curled on his thighs, but he paid no attention to my feeble scratching. Several grunts sounded from his mouth, and his pace turned from measured to frenzied. I was almost certain I was going to vomit when I felt him spasm within my mouth. Seconds later, hot seed shot down my throat. I tried to pull back, but Loki held me fast.

“Swallow it.” He hissed. “All of it.”

I had no choice but to gulp it down, and when it stopped, he finally let me go. I fell to the floor, coughing and hacking, but alive. When I looked up to Loki, he actually had a contented took on his pale face. 

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I huddled on the floor, trying to cover all of myself. Several moments ticked by, before Loki finally tucked himself away and stood. “You did well, sweet.” He murmured, straightening his robes. “Very well.”

And with that he whirled from the room, leaving me alone with nothing but the sour taste in my mouth.

 


	4. The Norn's Sacrifice

Fun fact, there was a bathroom attached to Loki’s chambers.

Not fun fact, I spent the next several hours dry heaving in said bathroom.

It took everything I had not to implode into a sobbing, sloppy mess. Things were only going to get worse from this moment onward, and I had to be strong. If not for myself then for the three little kids whose lives were hanging in the balance.

He really did know just how to manipulate me, that silver tongued bastard. I kept vacillating between wanted to rip his head off in righteous anger, and cower at his inhuman beauty and power. Then again, what I wanted very obviously did not matter in this place.

And where exactly was this place?

Wrapping up my retching, I stumbled to my feet and returned to the main room. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head, before the giant map on the wall caught my attention. There were scribbles on it, in some sort of language I didn’t understand, and colored lines stretching out in all directions.

I was pretty sure it was full of important information, but I had no idea what. And every time I tried to concentrate, my mind was filled with Loki. From his pointed chin, to his tall, white forehead. His predatory smile, and his perfectly lean frame. The terrible things he said, and did, and no doubt was going to do.

Sighing, I touched my fingers to the strange symbols on the map, wishing I could understand what they meant.

The world snapped and my mind was off again, rushing through colors and sounds.

_Loki, sitting in a prison, his hair loose and messy. The blonde man speaking to him with a look of regret on his face._

_A man dressed in iron falling deep within an ocean._

_Me, huddled in the damp and dark, my stomach swollen with child._

The images stopped abruptly and I started retching again. It took me several moments to set myself straight before I addressed what was going on. I had just had a vision. Again. Without Loki’s pokey staff thingy to help me.

This probably wasn’t a good thing.

Weak from everything that had happened, I stumbled over to the bed and flopped face first onto the comfortable softness. I wasn’t sure what I was, or how I was having these strange picture in my head, but somehow I knew that my torture was just beginning.

                                                                        *

Hours passed, until I supposed it was probably night time. It was hard to tell with no window, or phone, but my internal clock was telling me I should probably get to sleep. But sleep meant I wouldn’t be awake when Loki returned. Which he would. I was in _his_ room after all.

As if on cue, the latch in the door turned and I scrambled off of the bed and pressed myself to the far wall of the room, trying to sink down and make myself as small as possible. But his green eyes still found me and an oh-so-enticing smile bloomed on his face.

“There you are!” He declared jovially, striding over to where I was huddled. “What are you doing in the corner?” He extended a hand to me which I stared at, before belatedly letting him pull me to my feet. To my annoyance, I realized I had yet to put my pants back on, and was dressed in only my top and panties. But Loki seemed to pay my demi-nudity no heed. “Thanks to your prompting, Agent Barton has told me everything he knows about our enemy’s plans. They’re putting together a team to stop me. Romanov is the one heading it.” He raised his staff from his side, grin still evident. “And I need you to tell me who they’re assembling.”

“I don’t think I can control what I see-”

“Hush now pet, your job isn’t to think at all.” He gave me a patronizing kiss on the top of my head, but that didn’t dull the panic quickly bubbling up within me. “Now be good and show me what I need to know.”

The sharp blade of his staffed pressed against my chest, and I fell right back into the rabbit hole.

_The man with glasses flashed across my view, before morphing into a massive green beast._

_Another man had pieces of iron float to him, until he was encased in a metal suit._

_The blond man slammed his hammer into the ground, and lightning flashed._

_Loki lay in the center of a crater, scratched and bloodied, while the strange creatures from my dream rained down around him._

_Loki chained and muzzled by the blond man, disappearing in a flash of light._

The vision broke and I gasped at the vice like grip on my shoulder. I looked to my captor and found nothing but fury along his features.

“What,” He spat, “was that?”

“I don’t know!” I cried, trying to pull out of his grasp. “I can’t control it, I just-” A vicious slap cut off the rest of my sentence, and a pitiful cry escaped my lips.

“I cannot _fail_!” Loki roared at me, shaking me so hard I bit my tongue. “I am the God of Midgar and you will show me what I need to know!”

He stabbed me with his staff, and just like every other time, the same scene played. As soon as it was over, Loki screamed and threw me across the room. I slammed into the desk and cried out helplessly. What could I do in the path of a raging tornado? I couldn’t even run. I could only try to get up and survive a bit longer.

He stalked over to me, and struck me again, knocking me prone. Before I could even think, he was straddling me, with both of his hands wrapped around my throat.

“You ungrateful little _bitch_.” He hissed. “You’re against me. They’re all against me.” I reached up desperately to him, pounding on his chest and pushing at his arms, but he didn’t even register my struggles. “But I will make you pay. I’ll make you hurt like they made me hurt. And you will see that I am you God. Your one God, the true God of Midgar!”

Finally he let go and I drew in a draft of delicious air. But I didn’t have much relief before his hands found my bare sides and squeezed. I bit my lips to keep them shut, but I couldn’t stop the pained whimpers from escaping, and Loki only smiled at the sound.

“I put the final pieces into motion today,” He murmured, voice suddenly calm and honeyed. “I should have been focusing on that and only that.” He bent down, his broad shoulders shadowing my pinned body. “But I kept thinking of your warm little mouth, and how fitting you looked on your knees. Perhaps my brother wasn’t insane for taking an earth woman.”

I wanted to object, but all I could do was let out a sob as his nails pierced my skin. The sound only seemed to encourage my assailant, and his hands slid upward, taking my camisole along with them.

I kicked my feet and tried to buck him off, and that just made his grin grow. I could feel that same terrible hardness pressing into my middle and tears started to well up.

“Please stop,” I begged, knowing I sounded piteous and not caring. “You could have any woman you wanted. You don’t want someone like me.” His hands encircled my breasts, and he pinched one of my nipples. Hard. I let out a shriek that only roused a chuckle from him.

“Do you dare to think you can tell your god was he does, or does not want?” I shook my head, tears now flowing freely down my face, but I couldn’t stop them any more than I could stop the raven haired deity above me. “There, there, you idiotic little beast,” He murmured, dipping lower to press his lips against my wet cheek. “You were created to serve me; this is only natural. So no more tears, pet. Not unless I will it.”

One of his hands wrapped around the back of my neck and yanked me up. Even if I had a smart retort, his lips crashed against mine before I could utter one. My whole body rushed with heat as his soft mouth moved against my own, and his tongue deftly darted between my teeth. I let him plunder me, and responded when he prompted. I wanted nothing more than to bite down on his lips and make him curse again. But it wasn’t me who would suffer the punishment, and I couldn’t have the blood of children on my hands.

We stayed that way for several moments, lips moving as one, until his godhood twitched against me. That seemed to stir him from our kiss and he sat up, looking pleased with himself. “Who would have thought bestiality could be so rewarding.” His eyes glinted with mischief, as he raised his hips off of me. But just like everything Loki did, relief was immediately followed by horror as his hand slid into the new space between us and his cool fingertips brushed against the cotton guarding my entrance.

I tried to scramble away, but his free hand grabbed my breast and pinned me in place. “No, no, no, please don’t.” I whimpered uselessly, knowing each word was as futile as the last, but unable to stop the deluge of pleads. “Let me service you again, please? You liked that.”

His too-white teeth flashed at me. “Are you trying to bargain?” His fingers stroked the fabric again, sending electricity shooting through my ever nerve.

“Yes, just _please_ don’t.”

“Don’t what?” He questioned, raising both his eyebrows and giving me an innocent look.

“Don’t touch me there.” I whispered. I knew there was no stopping what was to come, and my pitiful begging was only pleasing the god more, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want my first touch to be at the hands of a beautiful mad man. I had never felt more of a fool for not sleeping around when I was a teenager. Being too busy sounded like a pitiful excuse now.

“Touch you where?” He pulled that thin layer of cotton aside, and one delicate finger gently slid across my folds. “Here?”

I shrieked and tried to buck out of his grip, but he posted a knee on my hip and kept me flush to the floor. Once I was secure, his adept digits returned to their task, and danced along my lower lips.

Tears started flowing again and I felt myself hiccupping. But my piteous sounds didn’t even slow him. His fingers slid, and explored along me, until one hit that sensitive nub at my apex. I gasped, feeling my nipples perk up in arousal, and Loki’s grin only grew.

“See what happens when you please your Master? He pleases you.”

He pressed against that bundle of nerves again and I bucked helplessly. I didn’t want pleasure from him! I’d rather he hit me.

But he paid what I wanted no heed, continuing to manipulate me until I was a writhing, sweaty mess. My head was rushing and waves of pleasure pulsated through me, but that couldn’t overcome the raging storm of fear. Strangled mews escaped around clenched teeth, the only other sound besides his fingers moving along my entrance.

Then he thrust one finger in.

My mouth flew open and I let out a terrified cry. I tried to surge up again, but barely made two inches before he slammed me back down. I bucked, and kicked, and slapped, but nothing even made the god flinch. He continued moving his finger within me, poking, stretching, scratching, until he hit something that made me scream.

Once my vision cleared, I looked up at him and a strange expression crossed his face. It was somewhere between marveling and incredulous, but I was too traumatized to ask.

“A virgin?” He breathed, almost chuckling through the word. “Could you actually be…” His hand finally left my breast and pulled me up by the back of my neck again. I froze when he brought me just a breathe away from his gleeful face. “Am I the first to have you?”

My eyes darted from left to right, trying to figure out which answer would hurt me less. Then his gripped my face and forced me to look at him.

“Answer the question.”

“…yes.” I whispered finally, barely able to hold back another sob.

And then a strange thing happened, he laughed. His grip relaxed on me and he actually _laughed._

“A virgin!” He repeated, looking at me like I was supposed to know the goddamn joke. “Do you know the last time there was a virgin in Asgard?” I shook my head. “Millennia! The last one was Sif, and she fell to my brother long before Eriksson set sail.” The next thing I knew we were on our feet and his long, slender hands were cupping my face. “This is a sign from the Norns! A virgin sacrifice to the one true god of this realm.” My already frenzied heart started to pick up tempo, but there was nothing I could do to stop his lips from crashing into mine again. This time the kiss was different. It was less painful, less tormented, and filled with actual desire.

Nothing terrified me more.

I tried to tear away, but Loki grabbed my hips and pulled me flush to him. “Oh no, pet. There’s no running away from this. I will take you, as is my right, and I will take you hard.” He dipped his head until his warm lips ghosted over my ear. “I will make you scream my name and beg for mercy, then cry for me to never stop. I will be the only man to ever know you, and I will make sure every inch of your body bears my mark. Do you understand?”

My breath hitched in my throat, and my world shrank down to a pinprick of light. “I-I-I-”

“I said, do you understand?”

That broke the last straw in me, and I leveled my one blue eye at his malevolent green ones. “Fuck you.”

His smile was malicious. “That’s the plan.”

The next thing I knew, I was flying backwards through the air, and I landed in a heap on the bed. Loki was on me before I could right myself and run, straddling my hips once more and pressing me into the firm mattress.

I let out a frustrated sound and pounded against his chest, but he just laughed at my efforts. I wanted to scream at him, to yell every single curse in existence, to claw his eyes out like a banshee. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

His hands found my sides again, gently stroking the bruises he had left just minutes ago, before grabbing my shirt and yanking it up. I expected it to get thrown somewhere into the room, but instead the god wrapped it around my wrists several times before tying it tightly. Once they were done with that task, his fingers leisurely slid back down, until they were cupping my breast again.

“You’re so incredibly fragile, aren’t you pet?” Loki mused, spreading his fingers wide in an effort grab each mound. “So soft. The tiniest bit of power, and you bleed.” His nails grazed my flesh and I shuddered. “It’s almost intoxicating.”

I tensed, waiting for the blow, or the clawing, but instead the Trickster sat up, expression as suave as ever. I was glad for the reprieve, but then I saw him reaching for the lacing in his sides.

Oh.

I watched breathlessly as Loki worked at his complicated robes. Despite all my hate, and repulsion I felt for him, the photographer side of me couldn’t get over his aesthetic, or how otherworldly _beautiful_ he was _._

The green and gold fabric fell, and was tossed to the side. All that was left was the cotton tunic he wore under his armor, and his pants. He shot me a knowing expression, then pulled the tunic off.

My breath hitched in my throat, and for a moment I was distracted from all my pain. He was _perfect._ Like something carved from ice, each slope, each plane of god-flesh was flawless marble. He was beauty incarnate, and I wanted nothing more than to hide.

But his hands were on me again, fingers traipsing down my stomach until they reached the band of my panties. I held my breath, waiting for him to slide them down my legs, but instead, he gripped the cotton and ripped.

A whimper sounded in my throat as he shoved the scraps out of his way. I was completely bare before him, and nothing was going to stop him. No matter how desperately I pleaded, this night would be one of torture.

Like he was reading my thoughts, Loki shifted his weight back. Wordlessly, he slapped my thighs and made a gesture for me to get them out of his way. Confused, I tucked them up to myself while he settled, then he yanked them back down on either side of him.

I let out a startled yelp, but he only smiled as he slid his fingertips up my thighs. When he reached the fullest part of my leg, he tightened his grip, squeezing at my flesh until it bruised.

But that wasn’t enough for him. Bending down, Loki took one of my nipples in my mouth. I gasped, unused to the sensation, but the hums of pleasure took the edge off his abuse elsewhere. I felt like my mind was being torn in two directions, and I was sure I was going to go insane.

When he seemed pleased with his ministrations, he turned his attention to my other breast and doled out equal treatment. My heart pounded in time with his licks and sucks, his nails digging into my legs a faint echo to his rhythm.

Perhaps only a minute or two passed, but it felt like an eternity before he shifted even further forward, leaving a trail of nips and pecks until he reached the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Finally, his steel grip released my thighs, and a rush of relief flooded me, followed by sore throbbing.

I should have known better to relax even for a second, because one of his now free hands settled itself at my entrance, stroking at my folds, and pressing into that nub. I clenched my legs around him, trying to still his actions, and his response was to bite down on my neck.

I let out a cry, and my legs dropped. Belatedly, Loki’s tongue slid across the newest wound he created, soothing the angry red and lapping up my blood. His hand continued to work against me, but he seemed frustrated at the result. I don’t know why, I was definately a panting, sweaty, crying mess.

“Come now, pet, stop fighting your master.” He crooned into my bleeding neck.

“I’m not,” I whimpered feebly, hating the sound of my voice. Hating myself. “I swear I’m not.”

He sat up and examined my face for several beats. I stayed still, unsure what punishment he was going to give to me, but instead he just shrugged and sent me a magnanimous smile. “You seem to be having a little performance anxiety.”

“I wha-”

Two of his fingers were in my mouth before I could finish my question. “ _Suck_ ,” he ordered.

I closed my lips around him and did the best I could. I realized what he meant about fighting him now. Apparently I wasn’t wet enough for my rapist. How rude of me.

My insolent thoughts faded when I realized Loki was staring at me, a look of pure dominance on his face. He was getting off on this, on controlling each and every thing I did, making me do what I didn’t want to do. Destroying me from the inside out.

His free hand went to his pants, and he deftly started to undo his laces. It took all of my willpower to keep wetting the fingers in my mouth as he pulled his godhood from his breeches.

“That will do,” He purred, pulling his digits out. I was given less than a second’s reprieve before he thrust them into me.

A wet sob escaped me, but that only made Loki’s length twitch against my thigh. Despite the spit, I felt like I was being probed with sandpaper. How in the hell did people fit whole fists in there? Who in the hell had told me sex was awesome? They were _lying!_

But Loki was deaf to my torment, and continued to move his fingers in and out, occasionally pausing to widen his fingers in a scissoring motion within me. Each time he did, a moan of pain fought its way past my clenched lips and his smile just grew more malicious.

I don’t know how long he kept up his torture, but when he withdrew his fingers a sickening dread filled me. I knew what came next.

New energy flooded me and I tried to flail away from the deity. I kicked, and slammed my tied fists against his chest. And he laughed at me. Actually laughed and me and repositioned himself at my entrance.

I let out a shriek and did everything I could. I writhed, and bucked, and tried to clamp my legs together, but he just pried my thighs apart and thrust forward.

I had thought I knew what pain was.

I did not.

I felt like I was being ripped in two. An ungodly shriek punched past my throat and I was sobbing freely now. How was I supposed to survive this? How did anyone survive this?

My frantic panicking stilled when I heard a hiss from my master. Briefly, I blinked tears out of my eyes, to see Loki’s head was tilted toward the ceiling, his eyes closed and an expression of bliss on his face.

Without looking at me, he withdrew and thrust again. My eyes snapped shut from the pain, but I still heard his appreciative groan. Another thrust, another lightning bold of pain through me, another sound from Loki.  After a pump or two the edge of the pain started to ease and I let out a shuddering breath. “Please, stop…” I pleaded.

Wrong move.

Loki’s hands curled around the back of my thighs, squeezing hard as he tilted my hips upward. My eyes shot open at the new angle, he flashed me that predatory smile that made my blood run cold.

Then he was pounding mercilessly into me, burying himself to the hilt, pulling almost all the way out, then slamming back in again. It hurt, it hurt worse than anything else in my entire life, but every sob just seemed to spur him on more.

I tried to close my eyes against the assault, send my mind somewhere else, but Loki let go of my thigh and grabbed my chin.

“You look at your god as he takes you.” He hissed, voice strained with effort.

I shook my head faintly, and he responded with three thrusts so hard, I was physically moved up the mattress.

When he pulled me back down, I complied, and looked up into his face. I don’t know what I expected, maybe hate, lust, or victory, but all I saw in his eyes was undiluted pleasure and relief. But I couldn’t concentrate on my surprise; his pace picking up yet again. Every move felt like a knife shearing through me. Each time his hips joined mine, I thought I would die again.

Unused muscles in my abdomen contracted, trying to pull me away from the assault, and my chest heaved as I struggled to catch my breath. But there was no reprieve from his onslaught. There was no getting used to his hunger. Just when I thought I was nearing my brink of what I could handle, his long strokes turned into hard, fast pumps, and I tried not to notice the drops of blood smearing across my thighs.

A guttural growl issued from above, and I felt him spasm inside me. Fleetingly, I remembered that he had done this before when I-

I couldn’t finish my thought before he let out a roar, and hot seed sprayed within me. I answered with my own choking sob, and tried to pull away from him, but he gripped me with a titan’s strength.

“Take it all,” He groaned, head tipping back again as the muscles along his stomach rippled and flexed. I whimpered and obeyed, but he didn’t even seem to hear me as he rocked subtly, making sure I couldn’t move away until he released every last drop.

Finally he finished and let me go. I lay there, helpless, defeated and paralyzed. Loki collapsed beside me, and pulled me to his cooling chest. We stayed there, silent, my heart rebounding off my ribs loud enough to speak for me.

“What is your name, pet?”

It took several moments for my brain to figure out how to speak, but Loki showed no signs of impatience. “Andi.” I croaked.

He patted my damp red curls. “You did well very well, Andi. Your god is pleased.”

“…thank you.”

His lips pressed against my forehead sweetly. “You’re welcome.”

 


	5. Silver Tongued Consequence

Consciousness floated above me, trying to settle down, but I stubbornly clung to my sleep. Being awake meant feeling, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. If I had my way, I would stay snoozing forever, but my bladder had the last say, and an angry pain jerked me from my slumber.

Groaning, I opened my eyes and was nearly immobilized with pain. Every part of me ached and throbbed and burned. I feebly tried to stretch my legs, but even that send jolts of agony up my thighs.

Something moved next to me, and I realized Loki was still there. That alone was enough to motivate me into a sitting position, and I attempted to silently slide myself off the bed.

I was fairly proud of myself when I made it to the edge of the mattress, taking inventory of the purple-black bruises on my sides and legs. But that was just the beginning of the battle. Carefully, I set my feet on the floor and stood.

That lasted for about all of two seconds before I folded like an empty sack.

“Trying to run away, are you?” Slowly, I craned my neck to see Loki lying on his side, and amused smirk on his face. He didn’t look particularly murderous, but with him that didn’t mean much.

“I thought a hot bath might help,” I whispered, throat still raw from my screams just hours before.

The god sat up the rest of the way, and threw the covers off. My head instantly snapped to the ground. I had never been one who was bashful around nudity, but there was something dangerous about the Trickster in his natural form. “That’s actually not that bad of an idea,” I heard footsteps coming toward me, and the next thing I knew, a strong arm wrapped around my middle and pulled me up, then another swept under my calves. I let out an undignified squeak, but other than that managed to maintain my silence.

Loki continued to the bathroom like nothing bizarre was happening, but my mind was reeling. It seemed silly, but I hadn’t been picked up since I was twelve years old, and the idea that the god was just toting me about like I was nothing was incredibly unnerving. How pathetic my race must appear to him.

We passed the toilet I had intimately familiarized myself with earlier, and pushed aside a satin curtain. That didn’t exactly seem very practical. But practical fled from my mind when I saw what basically looked like a massive, in ground Jacuzzi surrounded by coral tiles.

“That’s your bathtub?” I rasped.

Loki’s only response was a smile as he went around to the stairs (yeah, it had _stairs!)_ and walked in. Once we were in the water, he seated himself against the wall and positioned me in his lap. His arms wrapped around my middle, pressing my back to his smooth chest, but other than that, he just let me soak. I relished the peace while I could, and tried not to pay attention to the red staining the water around my thighs.

We sat like that for several minutes, quiet and still, before Loki shifted behind me. I tensed, expecting a blow, but instead a warm, soapy cloth touched my shoulder. Gently, the Norse god pushed me forward a bit, then slid the soft fabric over my neck, shoulders and back, his other hand holding my mass of red curls out of the way. As terrified as I was, it was hard not to relax into his soothing touch. There was no doubt Loki knew what he was doing.

A soft tug on my hair and I leaned back and tilted my head to the ceiling. The cloth glided across my collarbone, tenderly lingering on the bite at my neck, before traveling to my breasts.

I couldn’t stop a gasp from escaping my lips, and Loki chuckled at my response.

“So sensitive so early?” He teased.

I didn’t answer, but he didn’t seem to mind, and continued past them, down below the water and onto my sides. He spent quite a while softly scrubbing at my thighs, and my skin did feel better after all the dried bits of last night’s encounter were washed away.

By the time he finished, my aches had diminished significantly, and I almost felt relaxed against his chest. I should have known better.

“Turn around.”

I obeyed as fast I could, posting a knee on either side of his hips and settling down in his lap. Despite his gentle caressed, my heart started to pound, and it took every fiber of my being not to splash away when he inserted a finger into me.

More tendrils of red floated up to the surface and he withdrew his digit. “You’re going to need to heal.” He stated frankly. “I have something I’ll need you to take before I leave.” I nodded dully and stared at his chest.  “Well?” He queried.

“Well what?” I retorted before biting my tongue.

But Loki didn’t seemed perturbed by my snark, and dropped a new soapy cloth in front of me. “It’s my turn.”

Wordlessly, I grabbed the square and tried to steel myself. Tentatively, I reached out and pressed it against his shoulder. When he let his head rest against the lip of the tub, I took that as my cue to continue.

And that’s how I ended up cleaning the God of Illusions and Trickery. Interesting stuff.

Somehow I finished without some sort of terrible error, and Loki took the cloth from me, still wearing a genial expression. That in and of itself was enough to freak me out. He always did the worst to me when he looked happy.

“Can I see your eye?” I blinked dully at him, and he held up his palm. “Your eye, the false one, may I see it?”

“Um…sure?”

Reaching up, I furrowed my brow and poked at myself a bit, until my eye popped out of the socket. Fearing the worst, I placed it in his extended hand.

“Thank you.” He rolled it about in his palm for a minute, and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. When he uncurled his fingers, what looked like an actual eyeball sat right in the middle of his hand. I should have been grossed out, but I was mostly fascinated.

“Is that my…?” He nodded and I poked the thing, almost shocked when it still felt like glass. “How did you do that?”

“It’s just an illusion, a type of glamor.” Loki answered, looking pleased with himself. “I can make it permanent, but I need your permission.”

“My…permission?” I echoed hesitantly.

He shrugged. “It’s very particular magic. If it’s going to be in your body, and part of yourself, I need you to want it to work. I know it’s complicated for a human to understand, but all I need is for you to tell me your eye is mine to enchant.”

I didn’t answer right away, my teeth worrying at my lips. What if this was a trap? It felt like a trap. But that eye looked so pretty and right and beautiful and _real_! How could I possibly turn it down?

“You have my permission,” I whispered haltingly.

“Very good.” He rolled the prosthetic around a few more times before starting to pass it to me. But before my fingers could close around it, he pulled it back. “You know, this reminds me of a very old phrase my mother once said to me.”

“Uh-huh?” I answered dutifully, stare locked on his hand. I wanted that eye. That was _my_ eye.

“Oh, what was it?” His expression switched from contemplative to gloating as he caught my gaze. “Oh of course, he who holds the Oracle’s eye, sees all.” Suddenly the water in the tub didn’t seem so warm and inviting. “I think it’s supposed to mean that he with the best vantage point will always win, but it made me wonder…” His long, powerful fingers closed around the glass orb. “How much of it is based in truth.”

“I don’t-”

“Now we know that my enemies are assembling a team. We know you’ve seen my brother-” His brother? When had I seen another raven haired god? “What I need for you to tell me is what move I should make next.”

I shook my head to tell him it didn’t work that way, but then my mouth was moving and a voice that was not my own was coming out.

“ _Your greatest weapon is unstable. Your scientists have not collected enough_[ _iridium_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iridium) _to stabilize it. In three weeks’ time you will journey to the land of many old scars and take what is yours. Your brother and his new allies will meet you there. They will subdue you, but your presence will fissure their tentative embrace.”_

Then the voice stopped and I clutched at my throat, coughing furiously.

Loki, however, was smiling like a kid at Christmas time. “Looks like mother was right,” He murmured, before finally handing back my eye. After a few moments struggling, I returned it to its rightful place.

“What was _that?_ ” I hissed, too scared of what had happened to me to be worried about what my master would think of my tone.

“That was your true power.” He replied, apparently fine with my terse attitude. “You’re too weak to access it on your own. Consider it a gift.” With that he pushed me from him and stood. I looked away as he exited the bath, but I still heard his bemused chuckle. “There will be a potion and food waiting for you. Drink, and eat.”

Now I was feeling all sorts of prickly at the invasion of my mind, and the strange voice he had forced out of me. “And if I don’t?”

I didn’t have to look to see the carnivorous smile he sent me. “Then I’ll just have to find a different opening to use tonight.”

I fell quiet at that and stayed put while I heard him get dressed. It wasn’t until I heard him exit the room that I exited the warm tub. I wasted a few minutes searching for towels before realizing that there were none. That was weird… did gods just drip dry or something? I had no real answer to that conundrum, so I just shook myself off as best I could and headed back to the main room.

The first things my eyes landed on was the bed, and I might have thrown up a little in my mouth. With the covers thrown off, the red streaks of blood and other bodily fluids on the sheets were fully visible. It was hard to believe that that much of a mess came from two people, but I turned my back on it before I could start having flash backs. It was too early for that considering that he had just told me I was going to go through the same thing before the day was over.

I shut that particular fact out of my mind, and focused on the desk. Sure enough there was an apple, a few pieces of bread, a drumstick and a small green vial. I rushed forward and started chowing down. As far as I could tell, I had been Loki’s captive for around four or five days, and I had only had a hunk of bread to show for it.

I wolfed down the bread and meat fairly easily, and decided to drink the ‘potion’ before eating the apple. The last thing I wanted was to have a nasty taste stuck in my mouth for hours. I’d had enough of that after Loki had released in my-

I shook my head and grabbed the vial, knocking it back like a shot at the bar. Instantly warmth rushed from my toes to my scalp, followed by a wave of itchiness. Coughing slightly, I looked down and saw my bruises fade away, and skin repair itself in real time.

“Whoa,” I breathed, entranced by the healing. Then the magic hit the throbbing soreness between my legs and I was _really_ impressed. I let out a giddy laugh and spun around a bit. This is what Loki must have used on me when he first brought me to his room.

Thoughts of my tempestuous master stilled my twirls, as I remembered exactly why he had given me the healing drought. He didn’t care that I was in pain, or bleeding, he just wanted to use me again.

I sat down, hard, and my fists pounded the ground. It wasn’t fair! None of it was! I was a good person, and I’d never done anything to hurt anybody else, yet here I was, being tortured by a man who wasn’t even supposed to exist!

Sobs wracked my body and eventually I collapsed backward, crying uncontrollably on the thin carpet. I’d never been in a situation where I was so thoroughly trapped, and I felt like my soul was breaking into thousands of bitter pieces.

I stayed on the floor for goodness knows how long, before the door cracked open and I rolled under the desk. Thankfully, it wasn’t Loki who entered, but instead what I could only guess was a maid.

I peeked out from my hiding spot, but she paid me no mind, her eyes glowing blue like everyone else. It was at that moment I realized all I had to do was steal her pale uniform, and I could walk out.

I could be free.

Stealthily I got to my feet, and grabbed the now empty food tray. I don’t know how I was able to sneak so close to her, but as soon as she was in my range I swung with all my might. She dropped like a sack of potatoes and I hurried about removing her clothes.

I got about half way through unbuttoning her outer layer when reality came rushing back to me. I couldn’t escape, what was I thinking? One step out that door and Loki would tear apart one of the children. And I had no doubt he would do it. Even if I did manage to get away, he would murder every single one of them.

I couldn’t.

Tears welled up again and I retreated to my hiding place under the desk. Tucking my knees under my chin, I tried to quiet my whimpers while I watched the woman’s form. At least an hour or two passed before she groggily rose. When she did, I was surprised that her gaze was no longer glowing blue, but she bolted out of the door before I could ask her any questions. I heard her run down the hall, then there was a terrible crash, and shouting.

Yeah… there was no way Loki wasn’t finding out about this.

I tried to urge myself to leave my silly little hiding spot, but my muscles locked. I knew a storm was coming, and there was nothing I could do to avoid it. I could only quiver in my hidey-hole and hope I lived to see another day.

Time passed, but the light in the room remain unchanged, everything frozen in time until a shadow loomed in the doorway.

He took two steps into the room, and I could already feel his rage radiating against my skin. My shaking picked up in earnest, and I scrambled out from under the desk.

“I’m sorry!” I blurted before he could smack or punch me. My words continued to rush out in an avalanche of terror. “I hit her to take her clothes but then I realized I was being bad so I stopped. I didn’t even try to leave! Please don’t be mad at me!”

Finally his gaze addressed me in full, and my stomach dropped clear through the floor. “You still tried to disobey me.”

“Yes, but-”

He lashed out so hard, the force spun me away from him, then his hand was on the back of my neck, slamming me face first into the very desk I had been hiding under. My hands tried to wiggle under me, to push me up, and my toes pressed into the floor, but Loki held me fast.

“You still haven’t learned your lesson.”

“Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” I wheezed, barely able to move my head to the side enough to speak. “It’s just because I’m so stupid! I didn’t think.”

At that he smiled, and bent down so his face was even with mine. “Are you really trying to lie to the god of trickery?”

“…No.”

“I thought so.” He stood again and brought his palm down flat on my back. The resounding smack echoed through the room, and I tried not to wail. If his hand wasn’t pinning me in place, I would have rolled away from him, but he kept me still while he delivered blow after blow.

Finally, when I was a shivering mass of raw skin, he moved around me. For a moment I actually thought he was giving me a reprieve, but then he kicked my legs farther apart, and I heard him unlace his cordings.

He slammed into me without warning, and I screamed louder than I ever had in my life. Yet again broken sobs followed each thrust of his hips, the pain only amplified by my pelvis being bashed repeatedly into the desk. He kept his grip on my neck, but used his roaming hand to anchor into the curve of my waist, pulling me backwards onto his impaling length.

I wept openly, all pride done away with as he drove me mercilessly into the furniture. I could feel him pulse and throb within me, each action from him causing blinding bolts of agony through me. What could fill a man with so much rage? How could so much violence be generated by one soul?

I didn’t have an answer for that, and I could only bite my hand to keep from screaming my throat raw yet again.

The vicious attack went on for what felt like centuries, and I started to lose feeling in both my legs before I recognized the irregular cadence of when Loki was nearing his peek. Once more, his steady, bone crushing thrusts turned into rapid fire jerks within me. I let out a whine, and he suddenly buried his fingers in my hair and yanked it back.

“Scream my name,” He hissed, nails digging into my scalp. “Scream it like a little whore.”

I opened my mouth, but all that came out was a piteous squeak. In reply, my master slammed my body back down onto the desk, and pressed the side of my face into the wood.

“ _Scream it_!”

“…Loki.” I breathed, practically biting my tongue as he gave a particularly vicious thrust. “Loki, _please._ ”

“Please what?”

I could feel that he was holding all of himself back, that he wouldn’t let go until I submitted. And in the haze of pain, and torture, I didn’t care about my pride. “Please come in me. Fill me up!”

He let out a roar and all of his motion stopped as he rammed into me one last time and held me in place. I could feel him coating the inside of me, but I couldn’t help but feel relief that this round was over.

When he finally finished filling me with his seed, he let me go and straightened. I rolled off the desk and let myself fall to the floor. Tentatively, I felt at my normally soft, cushy stomach and hips, and found bruises already forming. I had no idea how I was going to walk tomorrow.

“You’re not a very good liar.”

I blinked and looked up at my tormentor, to see a sadistic grin on his face. The one that made my blood turn to sludge in my veins. “I-”

He shook his head so I cut myself off. Although I was confused when he reached down and roughly pulled me to my feet, I took some relief in the fact that he was still soft from having just released and would at least need a few minutes before he could rape me again.

“Stand.” He ordered flatly.

I obeyed, despite every muscle in my body screaming in protest.

Loki moved away from me, almost as if I wasn’t there at all, and proceeded with undressing. I averted my eyes yet again, prompting a chuckle from the god, but he didn’t order me to stare. Finally, there was a rustling of sheets, and when I looked to him, he was laying nude on the bed –propped up by pillows and returning my gaze.

“Do you know how many goddesses and giantesses would sacrifice all they had to be in your position? To taste and feel the cock of Odin’s son?”

“Your tone is telling me a lot,” I murmured obstinately.

“Exactly. You’re privileged every time I take you, but you don’t seem very grateful.” My eyes narrowed at him, but his grin only grew more magnanimous. “So I want you to beg this time.”

“This time?” I echoed. As far as I could tell, his hardware wasn’t exactly…hard.

He produced a vial just like the one I had gulped down earlier, looking ever so suave, assured and in power. I wanted to gut him where he lay, but I could only watch as he drank it down.

Like some sort of horrible porn joke, his godhood suddenly sprung to attention, veins pulsing along the pure white length and the mushroom-like head blushing a faint purple. My stomach turned, and I took an involuntary step back before Loki tutted me.

“You’re not off to a very good start, pet.” His green eyes locked with mine and I felt another part of my soul break. “I told you, you should be begging for me to touch you, like all the goddesses before you. So be good, and grateful, and I’ll let you sleep. Fail, and I have many more potions to go through.”

My world swirled black at his threat. He was making me choose how I was raped. He was handing me this illusion of power to make me feel like I was even more at fault that I already was. It was sick, and twisted and cruel and oh so clever.

My feet padded forward until I was at the edge of the ornate bed, then I crawled to him. Loki seemed to like the sight of me on my hands and knees, leaning back to settle into his pillows.

Since apparently I was the one leading this dance, I decided that I would much rather give him a blow job than have him inside me again. Who knows, if I did good enough, he might get off and go to sleep instead of tormenting me more.

I closed my mouth around the head of him and lavished it with affection. I ignored the intense taste of myself and his seed, and forced myself lower. My hand gripped the base of his shaft, and worked it upward, meeting my lips then returning downward. Loki let out an approving groan, and his fingers anxiously danced through my hair and across my forehead.

I kept up my efforts, and my master’s hips started to rise off the sheets to meet me while a thin sheen of sweat started to pepper his chest. I felt that same titillation of being in control of him for once, but it ended when he pulled my mouth off of him with an audible pop.

“Let’s not be lazy now, pet. I would find that most displeasing.” I sent him an unsure look so he sat up, and yanked my head until I was just a breath away from his own face. “Ride me, slut.” I didn’t know where these sudden epithets came from, but I almost missed pet, poppet and beast.

Almost.

Loki released me, and I hesitated a moment, searching for mercy in his venomous green orbs. Of course I found none, so I straddled his hips. Forcing myself to breathe, I positioned him at my entrance and started to lower myself.

The God’s hands reached down and grabbed my hips with no warning, then forced me down while his hips bucked upwards. His too-hard shaft impaled me, and I screamed, swearing that something had broken within me.

But Loki gave me no respite. He picked my hips up, then viciously yanked me back down before I could recover. Little splashes of blood now flecked his groin and thighs, but he seemed to be enjoying it all the more.

He forced me through a handful of torturous, agonizing thrusts, before his hands settled on my thighs and he leaned back one more. “Keep going,” He murmured, blissful and relaxed.

It took all of my strength to place my hands on his abdomen, and push myself up, then allow myself to lower again. Each movement made his godhood scrape the inside of me raw. This was how I was going to die. I was sure of it. Whoever had told me sex felt great was obviously insane. How was a woman every supposed to orgasm from something repeatedly stabbing her through her most private places?

Unbidden, cool fingers wrapped around my breasts and there was suddenly a mouth encasing my nipple. A small sliver of that fabled pleasure flashed through me, and I let out a surprised gasp. That seemed to spur Loki on, and he increased the pressure of his sucking and licking while his hips bucked up against me.

It was all too much for me to keep track of, and I tried my hardest to ride out the counterpoints of sensation. As much as Loki had said he wanted me to take control, it was clear he had just wanted to see me struggle to ride him. I wished he would have just said that in the first place and saved a lot of time.

He bit down, and my half murmur of pleasure turned into a shriek. Apparently, that was just what the Norse god needed, because he let out a responding roar and released once more. Like always, he held me in a vice grip, forcing me to take all of it.

When he finally finished, I fell to the side, limp and lifeless on the twice-stained bed. Loki rolled to his own side, looking at me with an almost affectionate expression.

“You did well, little Andi.” He patted my head and lovingly kissed my cheek. I think I hated that as much as I did the rape. “I think you’ve earned a reward.”

“A what?”

In one fluid motion, he pushed me onto my back and posted himself above me. For a moment I was terrified that he was hard again, but then he started trailing kisses down my body, sliding further and further until I understood what he was intending.

“No!” I sputtered, voice catching in my throat. “I’m fine. Pleasing you is enough!”

He looked up me, expression devilish. “Oh no, pet.” He kissed my hip and my stomach rolled. “I want you to know why they call me the Silver Tongued Trickster.”

“No, please I-”

But then his mouth was on me and all my words fled. His lips ghosted over my abused entrance, and his ever vigilant fingers gently parted me. My thighs tensed around him, yet he paid no heed. Warm, and wet, his tongue worked against me –soothing here, applying pressure there. It was heated, and soft, and I felt a strange sort of pressure building in my abdomen.

“Loki?” I squeaked, surprised at the strange sensation. It wasn’t like I’d never felt pleasure before. I’d masturbated enough to be more than familiar with my process. But this was nothing like it. This was raw, and full of heat, and I was utterly powerless to stop it.

He chuckled at the sound and the vibrations stirred me even more. Then, he found that sensitive bit of nerves and turned his attention to that.

The world shattered around me, and for several moments all I could feel was him laving at my center, pleasure radiating through me. My hands buried themselves in his head and I could feel him smirk against my skin, but I couldn’t stop. Tears mixed with my pitiful mewls as my hips moved in time with his mouth.

Oh god, I had never felt anything so good. Pleasure built up on pleasure until my whole mind was consumed by the growing force within me. My body burned, and my chest tightened, until finally he let out a gentle hum.

That pressure exploded like a bomb within me, and I screamed at the release. All the aches, and misery fled from my body and for several moments I was riding on a cloud. A beautiful, delicious, _perfect_ cloud.

But then the ride ended and I crashed back into my body. Panting, my vision cleared to see Loki posted above me once again, wiping blood and what I could only assume to be my juices away from his mouth. What little was left of my tattered pride stabbed at my heart. I had just gotten off by my rapist. Sure, it wasn’t my fault, and arousal was not consent, but there was no denying that I had _enjoyed_ it. Hell I had loved it. Just a momentary release from all my pain, tension and torture seemed like pure heaven.

I knew I would want it again.

Shivering at my realization, I let my god pull me to his cool body as we settled into bed. But even as he cooed congratulations for my obedience, I could not sleep.

I was on a road to madness, and there was nothing I could do to stop. 


	6. Agent of God

I stayed awake for hours, staring at the ceiling and feeling utter misery flow through each and every cell. I hadn’t drifted off until what I assumed was early morning, and when I finally woke up, Loki was gone.

I breathed in relief and made my way to the tub, trying to soothe my battered body. This time, there was no easy green vial to chug, and I briefly wondered if that meant Loki wasn’t planning to use me that night?

I could only hope.

Then again, it could mean he had just decided that he’d raped me enough that my body was capable of handling it now. Which it couldn’t. I could hardly stand upright, and I there were deep bruises biting at my hip bones.

But there wasn’t much I could do, so I got right back in bed once I was done with my bath. Of course that was after struggling to rip the stained sheets off for ten minutes.

The hours passed, and the maid came and went, leaving food by the bedside. It took all of my effort to sit up and actually wolf it down. I was probably losing weight, but most of me was too swollen and mottled with bruises for me to tell. I felt like I was beginning to resemble a too ripe banana.

That particular mental image surprised a bark of laughter from me, and I settled back into bed, letting my body rest. I wanted to get as much down time as I could before Loki returned thought of some new way to beat me.

But he never came.

My internal clock told me that night had long since fallen, but still there was no Loki at the door. I stayed up for as long as I could, wondering if someone had shown up and killed the evil bastard, but eventually fatigue dragged my mind down into restorative sleep.

The bed was much warmer without Loki in it.

                                                                    *

Three more days passed. I had no idea where Loki was, or if he was even alive, but I enjoyed the respite. For three days I had enjoyed no visions, and no assault on my person. Heck, I had even managed to wash my clothes, and get the glow-y eyed maid to find me a new bra and pair of panties. They were pretty utilitarian, and I couldn’t be happier with the plain black cotton. I also finally brushed the mass of copper curls that Loki was ever so fond of yanking. I dunno, my captivity almost seemed tolerable. I mean, I knew he was going to kill me in two week’s time.

Or did I?

I mean, sure, my dream had shown him biting into my heart, but what if that wasn’t as literal as my visions? What if it meant something more symbolic in nature?

I groaned. I had never been very keen on psychoanalysis, and I didn’t think I was suddenly going to start.

The door slammed open before I could get all Alfred Adler, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Loki strode forward, grabbing my arm and guiding me to the chair before sitting me down.

“Your eye.” I balked for a second, terrified and confused, and he flicked my forehead. “Give me your eye.”

I wanted to spit out something clever, but instead my fingers went up to my face and went about getting my enchanted eye out. I’m pretty sure it hadn’t seen saline solution in over a week, but I couldn’t exactly object to my god about germs.

“Agent Barton and the scientists can’t seem to think of a plausible way to bring down their metal chariot. What will bring their hellicarrier down?”

“I don’t-

 _A bolt in a whirling fan, have your puppet fire true. The alliance against you is crumbling, even with you in their hold, and it will take very little to break it. Make the man of science become the beast of green. Download their secrets._ ”

His eyes lit up with malicious glee and he bounced my eye in his palm. “And then Midgar will me mine.”

“ _No,_ ” That awful voice kept going, moving my mouth, using my throat, but I had no control over it. I wanted to vomit, or stab myself, really anything to get it to stop. “ _You will fall Loki Laufeyson. You will be muzzled like a dog and stripped by your people. Victory will never be yours.”_ The voice cut off and suddenly I could control my own breathing again, just in time for my glass eye to slam into my jaw.

I flew over the side of the chair, and the world swirled for a minute before clarifying into Loki’s murderous face above me. I was vaguely aware that I had knocked the desk over in my tumble, and the wood was cutting into my shins.

“You insipid little liar!” He hiss, fist striking down again.

I knew I couldn’t take another blow to the jaw and keep all my teeth, so I did the only thing I could do. I reached towards the mess that had spilled when I fell, and grabbed the first thing I felt.

A fork.

But I didn’t have time to think, so stabbed it into Loki’s thigh with all my might.

… the fork broke.

Although it had failed to cause actual harm to the god, it did stop him from punching me in the face. Instead, he let out a hiss of disproval and kicked me across the room.

“Do you wish to die?” He spat, advancing on my like an inescapable tornado.

I managed to stand, and I felt something come unhinged in me. “Yeah, actually! What are you going to do about it? Rape me? Oh wait, you already did that. Beat me? You’re going to do that anyways, -cause let’s face it, Loki, you don’t like bad news, and it’s clear your future is full of it.” I actually took a step toward him, forcing myself to look into his raging emerald gaze. “You can threaten me with children, and death, and whatever you want, but let’s face it, Mr. Trickster sir, you’ve already done the worst you can to me. Your bag of tricks is empty, and I’m still standing here, telling you that you’re going to _lose_.” I flung my arms out. “So take me again, if you have to, but it won’t change anything.”

He was silent again, but I refused to let my self falter. I returned his stare with everything I had, until he abruptly smirked, and walked out. I stood there, unsure of what had just happened, but after five minutes or so, I realized that he wasn’t coming back any time soon.

…had I just won?

I let myself collapse to the floor and hugged my knees. I had done it. I had faced down the beast and I was still alive, and relatively unabused. It was a freakin’ miracle.

For the first time since I had been captive, I felt my mouth open in a song. It was just a silly ditty from my childhood, but each note filled me with renewed hope. I could make it out of this.

I could win!

My celebration was cut short when the door slammed open again. I whirled, tensed for an attack, but was surprised when two men I didn’t recognize entered the room ahead of Loki.

One was a tall, sandy haired soldier with bare sleeves and what looked like archer gloves on his hands, while the other had crew cut black hair and a permanent frown accompanying his glowing, blue gaze. I stared at them, unsure what was going on, but pretty much ready for my imminent death, when Loki cleared his throat.

“Andi, meet Agent Barton, and Officer Dubois. Say hello.”

“….hello?” I murmured cautiously.

In response, Loki brought his staff up and rammed the blade through Dubios’ chest. I heard myself scream, but my vision when funny as I watched the man crumble to the ground in a pool of blood. In the back of my head I knew Loki was stepping over his victim’s body and coming towards me, but I couldn’t move. I could only see the slightly shocked expression on the officer’s face as his blood pumped out of his chest in a sluggish rhythm.

“Y-y-you-”

Then I realized Loki had reached me, and struck me in the side of the head. Yet again, the force of his blow knocked me to the ground. Before I could even wipe the blood from my ear, his grip found my freshly brushed hair and he yanked me to my knees, facing the other man, who was standing in a growing pool of congealing blood.

“Remember, pet, you brought this on yourself.” Loki hissed to me before addressing the soldier. “Agent Barton, have a seat.” The man gave a short nod, eerily silent before stationing himself in the chair I had been knocked out of not too long ago. “I don’t think you realize quite how spoiled you are, poppet. Agent Barton is here to give you perspective. Perhaps now, you’ll be grateful for how lax I am with you.” Loki’s hand tightened in my hair, and he suddenly thrust me forward. I caught myself before I hit the ground, and could only crane my neck back to look at my vengeful master. “Go on now, make our guest feel welcome.”

I could have sworn the floor dropped out from under me as I stared at him. “What do you mean?”

Loki sat against the edge of the bed, looking like he was about to watch his favorite movie. “Come now, don’t leave him waiting. Show him how well I treat you. _All_ of you.”

Slowly, I stood up, but I could feel myself shaking like it was my first time again. I was about to be raped by someone new, but at the same time, I was going to be raping _him._ Mind control was a hell of a thing.

My stomach protested as I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my thighs. The bruises on my hips and pelvis had faded to an ugly green-yellow, but a deep purple blotch was already gracing my shin from my fall just an hour previous. I tried not to look directly at the man sitting so still, but I could see the muscles in his face twitching, like he was fighting to do something, _anything._

But I knew he wasn’t going to break free. He was going to have to sit there and watched as a fat ginger took him against his will. Great. This was everything I needed on my already fractured psyche.

My battered cammi came next, and then I was just in my underwear. Loki let out an approving sound at the new addition to my wardrobe before bading me to continue in my strip. It took just a few quick movement before I was completely naked. Pale, bruised, bitten, and bare.

“On your knees.”

I dropped.

“Crawl.”

I moved toward the man, focusing on the burn of the carpet against my skin. When I finally reached him, I straightened and gently rested my fingers against his thighs, awaiting my next order.

“I think perhaps Mr. Barton needs a little encouragement.” Loki’s words dripped with superiority and pure evil. Briefly, I pictured him burning at the stake with a sword through his chest, but I quickly tucked that image away. Working up the saliva, my hands found their way to the zipper of the man’s pants and freed him. He was obviously very much not into this anymore than I was, but I knew I had to _make_ him.

Slowly, my tongue came out, and my fingers went to work. It took several minutes of licking, sucking and stoking before he stood at full attention. For a moment I sat back, ashamed and terrified of my work, and I noticed a sheen of sweat on the man’s forehead. What was he thinking, seeing a battered ginger get him off?

“Very good, pet.” Loki cooed from behind me. “But he looks so lonely in that chair. Surely you don’t want your guest to be lonely.”

“Please, Loki. You’ve proved your poi-”

“ _Now_.”

I winced but turned my attention back to my victim. Trembling, I stood, then knelt into cushion on either side of Agent Barton’s legs. Hating myself, I settled myself into a good position and placed him at my entrance.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered in his ears, barely able to keep the tears at bay.

Then I sank down onto him. There was a mild pulse of pain, but for once I didn’t feel like I was being cleft in two. That was probably because my partner wasn’t slamming into me with the force of a deity, or trying to actively hurt me. Mostly, he just sat there.

I let myself adjust for a moment, and was surprised to feel my center expand and stretch until he was comfortable within me. I sat, amazed, until a hiss from Loki spurred me on.

I pushed myself up, hands on the leather of the agent’s vest, then back down again. There was no pain. _There was no pain_!

My eye flicked to Barton’s, and I could see a kind of pitying stare in them. One more, I leaned forward and let my lips touch his ear. “I’ve never had it not hurt before.” I murmured as quietly as I could.

For a moment the man had no reaction, not that I expected any. But then his hands alighted gently at my sides and stroked soothingly at my skin. I picked up my pace, moving against the length within me, and let out a groan at the friction against the sensitive bundle of nerves hidden within my folds.

I felt awful, I was getting off on raping some innocent man, but I couldn’t help it. For once there was no pain, only pleasure, and it was intoxicating. I felt myself getting lost in the rhythm.

Agent Barton’s hands stroked higher, until his calloused fingers reached my breast. He fondled them for a moment, then his mouth encircled one nipple, while his hand worked at my other.

A gasp escaped from me, and I felt my pace pick up yet again. That same pressure was building up in me again, but this one from much deeper within me. And I knew he was under mind control, but I could _feel_ that this man was trying to help me, that he understood. I don’t know if it was just me trying to reach for some sort of relief to excuse the waves of ecstasy reverberating through me, but his gentle hands and skilled mouth kept up their administrations until I was a panting, sweaty mess.

I could hear Loki stir behind me, and let out a displeasured bark of words, but I couldn’t stop. I pumped harder, and Agent Barton’s hips rose to meet me, generating delicious friction. I could hear my god step forward, but it didn’t matter. I was almost there. I could feel-

Barton changed the angle of his thrust slightly, and hit something deep within me. For a moment, the world stopped, then that tightly wound pressure imploded on itself and my vision went white.

I could hear myself let out a keen of pleasure, but then I was being roughly yanked backwards and thrown to the floor. When I could see again, I saw Loki slug the agent across the face, screaming Norse curses. I was on my feet before I could think, and I jumped on Loki’s back, clapping my hands over his ears.

The god reached back and pulled me off, before throwing me to the bed. I slammed face-first into the headboard and felt the skin on my forehead split along with my lip. But Loki paid no heed to the blood gushing from my face, and yanked my hips back against him, then pushed my head down into the pillows.

My arms flailed, more than aware that Agent Barton was still sitting in that chair, still watching everything, but Loki held me in place while his fingers stroked my still sensitive folds.

“You dare to find pleasure in any but your god?” He growled, voice low and dangerous. I could do nothing but whimper before he slammed into me at full strength.

I didn’t know when he had become hard, but that didn’t seem to matter as he rammed my entrance once more. His fingers danced along my hip and back, occasionally gripping my pelvis to pull me back into a particularly vicious thrust, but mostly just scratching deep groves in my pale flesh.

“You come for _me._ ” He hissed, cursed hands twisting in my hair, pulling my head up at a painful angle. “And only me. You crave _my_ cock and no other.”

“Y-yes, master,” I wheezed with what little breath I had in me.

He let my head go and continued his manic attack. The rollercoaster of pleasure then pain was too much, and I felt all of it meld together in my mind. It wasn’t until Loki reached around and found that sensitive nub  that I felt my end coming yet again.

I don’t know if I was growing to like the pain, or just get used to it, because I felt that wave crest in me. Sure, it was smaller and shorter than the one I had when I was setting the pace with Agent Barton, but I didn’t have to fake that my master could make me cum.

And that was apparently exactly what he was waiting for, because as soon as I hit my peak, I could hear him roar then release within me. As per usual, he held me fast until he finished, then let me drop to the bed.

I heard him murmur something, and pat my head, but blackness greedily gobbled me up, and I fell into unconsciousness again.


	7. Declaration of War

 

I slowly woke, pulled towards consciousness by increasing difficulty of breathing. Groggily, I tried to roll over and relieve the pressure on my chest, before I realized that Loki was lying partially on top of me. He was heavier than I thought he would be; his cool chest leeching warmth from my back while pressing me into the mattress. The urge to vomit reared its ugly head yet again, and I tried to wiggle out from under the god.

It wasn’t exactly quick or graceful, but with some shuffling, wheezing and pushing, I was able to get loose enough to tumble off the bed and onto the floor.

I let out a hiss of pain, and my hand went to my back. I massaged my abused tailbone, until something warm and sticky coated my fingertips. Sighing in resignation, I pulled my hand into view and confirmed it was blood all over my digits. I must have pulled open one of Loki’s scratches when I fell.

How wonderful.

I stomped down the temper tantrum I could feel tugging at me, and focused my energy on standing up. Of course, it wasn’t until I was on my feet that I noticed there was someone else in the room.

Agent Barton still sat in that chair, Dubois’ blood now dried to his boots and the floor around him. He was awake, but his expression was blank, like a marionette without a master to give it life.

I inched forward, partially out of weakness, partially out of crippling guilt. I had head of awkward “the morning after” issues before, but none of those stories taught me how to address the guy I’d just raped.

Like… what was even appropriate? “My bad, bro?” “Thanks for the momentary relief from my never ending nightmare of sexual abuse?” Yeah, that _totally_ rolled right off the tongue and would make everything aok.

I reached my clothes on the floor and pulled on my cammi, then panties. Once I was somewhat modest, I wobbled over to the desk and grabbed a cup from the floor. After a less than speedy trip to the bathroom, I offered and oh-so-refreshing cup of sink water to the man.

“Thirsty?”

He had no verbal reaction, but his eyes closed in what I could only describe as a resolute yes, so I gently held the drink to his lips.

He gulped it down greedily and I felt myself smile. I know it was twisted, but I found comfort in the fact that I was not alone in this. Agent Barton was far more capable than me, and he was still powerless against the great God Loki.

We were just flies in his web.

I let out a sigh then noticed the cup was empty. Barton’s gaze flicked up to me hopefully, so I tottered off for a refill.

Once my fellow captive drank that down, I busied myself with washing his face. Loki’s blows had definitely done damage, splitting Barton’s eyebrow and the bridge of his nose, along with providing a generous portion of purple swelling.

It all seemed to be going pretty well, and I even found a bit of peace in the gentle process, until Barton’s eyes widened.

Desperate, his gaze shuttled from me to something behind me, but by the time I understood, icy fingers clamped onto my shoulder and a pointed chin rested on my mane of fiery curls.

“Odd, I don’t remember telling you to spoil my prisoner.” Loki mused. His tone was light and teasing, but his fingers biting into my shoulders told a different tale.

My mind scrambled to come up with a good excuse. “My visions say he’s important to you.” I sputtered. “I didn’t want my disobedience to cause difficulties to your mission. Please, forgive my idiocy.”

He let out a mocking coo, and turned me to face him. Those same cold fingers left my shoulder and cupped my chin, tilting my head up to gaze at him directly.

Even after all this time, all the rape and abuse, I still felt terror flood me when his eyes looked into mine.

“So thoughtful this early in the morning? Such a good little whore.” I felt my ears burn at his words, but that was nothing compared to the sickening feeling that reared up in me when his icy grip started to push me down.

For a fleeting moment, I tried to resist, but the pressure grew until my legs buckled, and I was on my knees before him. I could hear the rustling of fabric above me, and Barton’s breathing behind me, and my own heart clamoring in terror. Time seemed to slow down, and I could see each agonizing second as Loki loosened the lacing of his breeches.

“Since you are so eager to please,” My master gloated, letting his sentence trail off, and his semi-erection finish the sentiment for him.

Tears welled up much faster than they normally did, and my body flushed with heat. It was one thing to suffer Loki’s sexual appetite without an audience, and another to be raped in front of another. But being forced to orally please my rapist in front of a silent, mind controlled audience of one seemed so much worse. It was the ultimate in humiliation. I wasn’t exactly sure why, maybe because if I had the guts, I _could_ have fought back. I could have scratched, bitten, I don’t know, _something_. But the truth I was too scared, too beaten, and so I just gave in.

And give in, I did.

I made sure my mouth had as much saliva as I could work up, I trailed my tongue along his length, and sucked at his head. As his godhood grew, and hardened, I fought to take it deeper and deeper, until it was bruising the back of my throat. Blood dripped from my split lip, but it just seemed to provide lubrication for the assault.

His skin was hot, and thick as he thrust between my teeth. I could feel the muscles in his thighs contracting, but I knew I was experiencing only a tenth of the power he could dole out. So curious that he always made an effort to make things painful for me, but never lethal. Wasn’t he tired of constantly holding back? Wasn’t he bored?

My escapist introspection was cut off when I was thrown back, and I slammed into Agent Barton’s legs. I blinked rapidly, my mind whirling, and I belatedly wiped spittle from my chin. I looked up at the pale god, confused and fearful.

“Not yet, you greedy slut.” He took a step towards me and I tried to push back, but I was already flush with Barton’s seat. “Go clean yourself. You’re filthy.”

I sat still for a moment, too terrified to process the command. But then his foot flew towards me and I rolled to the side, scampering off before he could strike me again.

I didn’t know why he let me go -he had never let me stop before his released before- but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I didn’t breathe until I was safe in the bathroom. I just kinda stood inside the door, panting and struggling to unscramble my mind. When I was finally capable of actual thought, I decided the best thing to do was to follow orders.

With renewed purpose, I stripped and rushed to the bath. The water soothed my many aches and for a split second I felt relief. But then the door opened and I heard two sets of footsteps enter. Suddenly the water didn’t feel warm anymore, but I couldn’t force myself to face him. They reached the edge of the tub, and I heard Loki hiss an order to undress him. Apparently he was keep Barton around as an accessory. A human sized sex toy.

The water in the tub sloshed and I knew he was there with me. I still stood in the center, waiting for my fate, and I let out a startled squeak when Agent Barton stepped off the lip and landed with a splash in front of me.

“What-”

He pushed me backwards roughly, and I fell back into Loki’s lap. Since when had he sat down? What was going on?

My frantic thoughts were silenced when his icy hands clamped down on my thighs and he thrust up into me. A short cry escaped my lips, but it didn’t last long. Agent Barton gripped my hair on either side of my head, then roughly yanked it down into the water. I gasped, and flailed my arms, but Loki kept on pumping, and Barton kept holding me under.

My lungs burned, and my back screamed from the angle I was being held at. Air, I needed air! But the assault kept on, and the edges of my vision grew dark as I screamed bubbled into my watery prison.

Then I was released, and I burst above the surface as much as Loki’s grip would let me. I gulped down air, hiccupping and crying, my mewls of terror punctuated by the trickster’s vicious thrusts. Just when my heart was about to get back on rhythm, fingers coiled in my hair and I was pulled under once more.

Dizziness attacked more quickly this time, and my cries petered out long before I was pulled up. When air finally did grace my lungs, I fell back limply against Loki’s chest. I could still feel his hips slam into my ass, still feel his length force me apart, but there was a disconnect from the torture.

“Do you get it now, poppet?” He spat in my ear. “The pain will never end. _This_ will never end. You are _mine_ , and you were nothing until I decided you were useful, and then I will use you until you are empty. Do you understand?”

He continued his assault, his length plunging deeper into me. And I knew he was speaking the truth. I was his slave from here to eternity, and he was going to take everything I had and then some. There was no point in fighting. No point in resistance. I might as well obey until he got bored.

“I understand.” I whispered.

“Good girl,” He murmured, slowing his painful attack into a slower, drawn out rhythm.

“..but I won’t give up. Eventually you’ll get bored. Or go too far and kill me. Either way, I’ll win eventually. ”

Silence rung out for a moment, and again all I could hear was the sloshing from Loki’s ministrations.

“So be it then.”

And true to his word, he kept at it. His thrusts picked up into a frenzy of agonizing jabs. His nails broke the skin on my hips. His teeth buried themselves into my shoulder. Then I was underwater. Again.

But I felt a wall building up in me. Loki was going to win every battle between us. Both him and I knew it. But I would never give up. I would never just lie back and let him take what little pride I had. I was more than a thing. I was a human being- or something like it.

Finally, long after my mind stopped translating things in real time, I heard Loki give a grunt, then release within me. He shoved me off his lap, and I found myself in Barton’s arms. The trickster stood, and barked out an order, then I was dumped onto the cold tile.

Then they left, leaving a trail of water behind them.

I laid there, empty and hallow, and I was sure I would just stay there for hours. But hardly even ten minutes passed by before Barton tromped in again, his still damp hands pulled me up, and marched me out into the main room.

There Loki was sitting, propped up on the bed. Still naked. It was just so non sequitur that I had to stifle a laugh. But his responding glare made my mirth wither to ash. It was time for round two.

“I’ve dealt with stubborn fools before.” He grimaced. “I grew up with one.”

“Lucky you,” I rasped.

“Very cute, pet.” His expression changed to an amused one and I felt a familiar strike of terror. “But you’re right. Too much of the same thing can get boring. So let’s play a game.”

“A game?”

“Are we a parrot now?” Agent Barton shoved me forward, and I stumbled to the edge of the bed, still dripping water from my scarlet locks. Loki’s grin only grew. “Yes a game. I’m going to take you now, but you have to tell me what to do.”

“W-what?” I sputtered, utterly confused.

“You direct this show. You want power? You want this to be a war? Then you make all the orders you want. But-” He grabbed my face and turned it to him. “know this. Should I not be pleased in this round, it will be _my_ turn to battle.”

I licked my lips, trying to figure out what was happening. Timidly, I crept onto the bed and straddled the god. It was then that I realized that he wasn’t hard. For the first time, I was going to have to get Loki up from nothing.

While Agent Barton was watching.

Joy.

I bent down, pressing my lips to the side of Loki’s neck. Slowly, I trailed them down before gently nibbling at the crook of his shoulder. I felt him begin to respond and kept up, my hands grazing over his musculature. My fingers ghosted over his chest, dancing around his nipples in an irregular pattern, and my tongue came out to lap at my bite marks.

It seemed to be working, but he wasn’t quite there, so I lowered my still-wet core and ground against him slowly. He let out a hiss, and I felt him spring to life under me. While I had the chance, I reached between us and guided him into me.

I sat there for a few beats, waiting for him to move, before his raised eyebrow reminded me that this was in my hands.

“Move.” I stated, trying to keep my voice flat. Responded by bucking one, then laying still.

“Move how?”

“Just _fuck_ me.” I snapped.

“Of course, milady.”

With that his hips lifted in a steady rhythm and I felt him pump in and out of me once more. For once, he wasn’t biting, pinching, or beating me, and I felt pleasure start to build up in me much sooner than usual. Glad for the fleeting reprieve, I reached for Loki’s hands and placed them over my breasts. They just sat there, motionless for a minute, and I realized yet again I was going to have to tell him exactly what to do. Directing my rape. How cute.

“Squeeze them,”

He complied, and the pleasure increased. I felt myself let out a sigh. But then I saw Loki smirk below me and the good feelings dipped. Roughly, I grabbed his neck and pulled it to one of my erect nipples.

“ _Suck_ ,”

And he obeyed. A giddiness flowed through me at the idea that I was controlling a Norse god. For the first time in months, I had power. _Real_ power. Power that no one else would ever understand.

That blinding pressure was taking over. I felt my hips pick up their pace, and I spat at Loki to pick up his pace. The world seemed to rush together in a miasma of colors, and my breath came out in desperate pants. Just when I thought I was going to implode in on myself, everything burst in a flash of white.

I heard myself let out a screech, but all I could do was ride out the waves of stimulation. I was faintly aware that Loki was once more pumping wildly into me. By the time I came down from my high, the god was gripping my hips with bone crushing force and releasing his seed.

I collapsed on top of Loki’s chest and he made no move to push me off. Instead, he kissed the top of my head.

“Tomorrow will be my turn.”

I didn’t have any retort, and I let myself drift off to sleep.

 

 

 

I woke up like I did all the time. In pain. Groaning, I sat up in bed to see Barton gone, and Loki fully dressed. He was sitting at the newly righted desk, reading some sort of report. He noticed me fairly quickly, and shot me his dashing smile.

“Food will be in soon. Try to stay clean while I’m gone.” He stood and strode over to me. I recoiled, but he just caressed my swollen jaw. “The last thing I want is to punish you again.” I nodded slowly, and he turned to go, before whirling back to face me. “Oh, I just remembered.” He reached into a pocket in his robes and pulled out several pieces of jagged glass. “It seems your eye didn’t survive.”

 

 


	8. Crushed Rebellion

I stared at the glass pieces blankly, my mind churning. I felt an explosion of emotions through me, from sadness, to vainity, to fear, but what rushed strongest of all of them was pure, unadulterated _rage._

" _My eye!"_ I heard myself scream. "You broke my _eye_?!"

Loki smirked, that damnable look of superiority on his face again. "Accidents like these happen when you chose to diso-"

I surged forward until I was kneeling atop the mattress. I felt my grip on reality sliding, and when I opened my mouth it wasn't me who was speaking, but instead the familiar voice of my visions. " _Loki Laufeyson, you dare defile the gift of an oracle?"_ But it was not the same as my prophesy tone. The voice was practically exploding with vitriol and murder, and I was right there with it. I wanted to tear every limb from the man in front of me, and beat him to death with his own arm.

Something in his expression changed, and those normally malevolent green eyes stared at me like he was truly seeing me for the first time. “Wh-”

But the voice was having none of it and neither was I. Undiluted fury churned through both of us, and I realized that we were one, but also separate- two parts of the same coin. Never to see each other but always there. Always present. And in this moment we were united against the monster before us. “ _You desecrate our shell, you abuse our temple, and we cannot stop this. But to destroy the eye of the last Norn… there shall be consequences. Even Odin himself cannot cross us as such.”_

“Norn, what are you…” Then it clicked in him. And I was glad he had some sudden revelation, because I was just holding onto the burning comet of emotions boiling within me. “Andi…is short for Verdandi. But I have met that old crow, and you are human, the doctors confirmed-”

We interrupted him again. Our rage had no room for his grandiose arguments. Around me I felt the sheet fraying, and wearing thin, while the wood of the bed posts started to age, and chip. We would tear apart the universe itself for what we lost. “ _We are not from your realm, foolish little boy. We were pulled here by Yggdrasil. And now you must pay the price, false Odinson.”_

And then we were standing in front of him. I don’t remember moving, or time passing, but I didn’t question it. I gleefully held onto the power within me and let it control our body. It was time for revenge. Time for Loki to feel _our_ pain.

Our hand reached up, and grabbed the god’s throat. For a moment he smirked at our weak grip, but then a light started to glow from our hands and his expression finally turned to one of fear. Now he would know what it was like to be helpless in the hands of someone more powerful than he. We would make him kneel before _us_ ; grovel for his life like the lowly maggot he was.

“ _We will erase you from time, Trickster. You will have never been born, never have hated, never have killed. We will strike you from ever record there has been or will be.”_ The light grew stronger and his skin began to grow grey in waves. He tried to pull away, but we kept our hold. “ _Speak your last, vile words now, false god; before we destroy you.”_

His eyebrow raise, defiant to the end of course. “Our tests showed you were human,” He wheezed, throat constricted from our hold. “Which means you are at best, only half a Norn in your dimension.”

“ _Our lineage does not impede our ability to punish you.”_ The light grew brighter and Loki’s eyes flashed red. His grey/pale skin was beginning to peel back, revealing deep blue ridges beneath.

“No, but it does mean one thing.” Suddenly fire erupted within us, and I looked down to see the Norse god had driven the curved blade of his staff through our chest. A few seconds ticked by, our minds trying to comprehend the white-hot knife of pain, then blood started to pump out of the wound. “You’re still mortal.”

Our light disappeared, and our hand fell to our side. Slowly, I felt the rage and the voice fade until it was just me standing there, impaled by the wicked staff. Too warm blood dripped down onto my bare feet, and Loki filled my vision, one hand on my shoulder, the other still pressing his murder weapon into me.

“Such a bitter goodbye, my little pet.” He hissed, lips pulled back from his teeth in a bitter snarl. His skin had returned to its normal flawless marble, his voice was one again smooth and honeyed. Who was I to think I could defy a god?

He yanked the staff from my chest and I collapsed against him. My head now heavy, I let him tilt my face up to him. “I will miss your uses, of course. Perhaps I will find another like you and train her better. But for now, goodbye, my lost little Norn.”

He pressed his lips gently to mine, and for once I just let myself enjoy the cruel affection.

_Loki lay in a crater of the floor, utterly broken._

_The god muzzled and chained._

_A giant, rocky beast tossing men left and right in a hall of clear cages._

_Me, surrounded by darkness and wires, screaming alone._

_Loki atop a throne, and legions bowing at his feet._

My master drew away, that perfect expression on his perfect face.

“Good girl,” He murmured, patting my head gently.

Then he let me fall.

 

 

 

 

                                  TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, that concludes part one of this story! Feel free to tell me what you think, and what you would like to see! I have a plan written out, trust me, but I would love to know where YOU think the story is going. <3 <3 <3


	9. Unexpected Resuscitations

Darkness encased me, inky and suffocating. I floated listlessly through the space, detached. Incorporeal. Intangible. Coldness bit at my toes-wait… did I have toes?

I didn’t know anything. I couldn’t remember who I was. Or what. How had I ended up in this blank nothingness?

Light bloomed below me –or was it above?- and I felt myself drawn to its glow. Slowly, _painfully_ slowly, I floated  closer and closer to it until I was enveloped.

I closed my eye against the sudden brightness, and all of my memories came rushing back. The only thing keeping me tethered down was the cool grass tickling my feet. When I could see, and think clearly again, I was back in the valley that started this whole mess.

Well… that was weird.

“I’m sure you have questions.”

I looked to the sound to see… me, sitting at the base of the giant tree. Well… she was mostly me. She looked like someone had taken an erased to her and left only a faintly drawn imprint.

“Are we dead?” I heard myself say, ears still ringing. “I’m pretty sure we’re dead.”

“Yes, but we will heal.”

“Um… normally death’s not a thing you really heal from.”

“What about this situation is normal?”

“Ah, touché.”

She patted the root next to her, so I clambered across the tree and sat myself down. Now that I was closer, I could see she didn’t have the same constructed eye socked that I had. Instead, her skin was just smooth and flat, like an eye was never supposed to be there. Which I guess it wasn’t.

“So, am I like possessed by you or something?”

She sent me a half smile, one I was familiar with making, but it looked so odd seeing it on my doppelganger.

“No. We are the same person, one being. Just not…blended very well.”

“Sounds inconvenient.”

“It’s worked for us so far. Kinda.”

“ _Sure_ it has.”

“Anyways, I guess I should start off by saying we’re not from this particular dimension. We’re from a parallel timeline where the Twilight of the Gods has already fallen.”

“Whoa, so Ragnarok is a thing?”

“It’s _totally_ a thing.”

“Bummer.”

She nodded. “Your mother was a Valkyrie banished to Midgar for lying with a man.”

“Wow. Double bummer. Who was the lucky guy who got mi’mum kicked out of Valhalla?”

“Loki.”

“… _what?_ ”

She sighed and held her head in her translucent hands. “The Loki from our realm cannot die. His daughter, Hel, will not reap him, and the Valkyries are all dead.”

“Except me?”

“Except you.”

“I still don’t understand what _you_ are then.”

“I’m your genetic memory. Kind of an echo. There are some things your human half just can’t handle.”

“…right. So some kind of Valkyrie know how?”

“Not exactly.”

I knew that tone. That was my tone when I had bad news. “What now?”

“You’re and oracle. A Norn.”

“Oh yeah… that doesn’t make sense. Where does that come from?”

“You see, in our world there are three oracle Norns who enjoy high status. Urd, Skuld and Verdandi. Past, present and future.”

“My name’s Verdandi. So I’m guessing I’m her reincarnate or something?”

“No… not really. Loki knew he was never going to die, and he knew he would be trapped in the ruins of Valhalla forever. No subjects. No minions. So he created a plan.”

“I get the feeling he does that a lot.”

She nodded. “He stole the eyes of the Norn sisters and swore he would destroy their only way to see the world. So they helped him.”

“Helped him what?”

“They looked through time and found your mother violating her Valkyrie oath. Loki made sure she was banished for it. They then located her on earth, and Loki forced Verdandi to possess a human male and…”

“And what?”

“Took her until she conceived.”

I stared blankly. “So you’re telling me I have to moms, a dad and I’m a _rape_ baby? Why? What’s the point? Or does he just get off on being a sociopathic _bastard?_ ”

“The point is, he needs you to open Valhalla.”

“What? How does any of this fuckery equal me breaking into Viking heaven?”

“He needed someone biologically human so they could survive the Twilight. And he couldn’t father you himself, because then you would be a demi-god and would fall anyways. He did not calculate on the spirit of Verdandi being reborn through you when Ragnarok fell. As for your mother, she was just convenient.”

“Oh, I’m sure that made such a difference to her. Sorry for all the rape, but you were _convenient_.”

“I’m not done.”

I groaned. “Really? You’re still not done? What did he do? Kill my dog when I was seven?”

“The reason why he jumped through all these hoops, and made you so specifically, is because he knew about this dimension’s Loki and that they hadn’t reached the Twilight yet. He orchestrated everything thing about you so when the time was right, Yggdrasil would pull you to this world and you would birth _this_ Loki a new horde.”

I paled. “A horde?”

“And once you have, those children will be of both dimensions, he can use their powers to cross the gap into this world. From there it will be a simple matter of overthrowing Asgard and ruling all the realms.”

“So I’m a glorified _baby_ incubator?”

“Pretty much. The visions were just a bonus side effect of your heritage.”

“ _Balls._ ”

“Also, our dimension’s Loki told Hel not to let you in. And this realm has no record of you to enter into the book of the dead, so you cannot pass on while here.”

“You’re saying I can’t die!?”

“No, we can die. We just can’t pass on. Meaning we’re going to stay dead on the floor in that room until we heal enough to come back to life. Then we will probably die of starvation while we heal, then come back again, and again, and again.”

I swallowed, mouth dry. “That sounds less than ideal.”

She nodded. “I am not looking forward to it either.”

“But if I’m stuck in the cycle of suck, won’t my dimension Loki’s plan fail? I’m not exactly going to be poppin’ our babies if I’m DOA.”

She shrugged. “We can’t see that far ahead. Our vision is too obscured by the process to come.”

“How exciting.” I retorted drily.

“Such is the life… er death, when you’re the pawn of a God.”

“I never was one for chess.”

We both let out a quiet chuckle at that, and I leaned back against the tree. I wasn’t quite sure how long I laid there, but it was nice. For once there was no fear, no coming beating to lurk on the edge of my consciousness. And I enjoyed it.

That was until darkness started to eat away at the edges of the valley. I didn’t notice it at first, but a sharp pain in my chest, and a sudden gush of blood down my dress alerted me pretty fast.

“And so it begins.” I heard my other half murmur.

Suddenly the valley was rushing away from my feet, and within the space of a blink I was back in my body.

My breath shot through me in a desperate gasp. Blinding pain filled my chest, but I couldn’t move any of my muscles ease the torture. I could feel dried blood pricking at my skin, only to be covered as fresh red liquid started to well out of me. I could hear myself wheezing, but the oxygen only made the blood filling my chest bubble and foam.

My whole world narrowed to the maelstrom of pain devouring me, and the growing coldness taking hold. I fought for perhaps a minute or two, before the darkness took me yet again, and I was back in the valley.

“That was fun.” I gasped, sitting next to my self again.

“Just one of many,” She whispered.

“One of many.” I repeated, breathing out.

                                                ***

Twenty seven.

Twenty seven times I can back, and then succumbed again.

My mind was a constant wash of pain and torment. Either I was bleeding out, having my heart fail or starving to death. At first it wasn’t too bad; each time I came back was only for a minute, maybe five at most, then I would get a rest in the valley. But as time progressed, I came back for longer and longer. Once it took me what I figured to be two days to die. And the entire time I couldn’t move a single muscle, I was too weak, and too empty of blood.

It was maddening, it was terrifying, and most of all it was lonely. There were no longer any lights in my tomb, and no maid ever entered. A fine layer of dust was covering everything –including me. Loki must have abandoned his hide out to continue on with his plan. Had he succeeded? I was pretty sure my visions had told me he wouldn’t, but I couldn’t really remember. Concentration was so difficult.

Like breathing.

Like living.

Twenty seven.

But then, on the twenty eighth time being shoved back into my failing body, I realized I was not alone. I was surrounded by several strange men and women I had never seen before. And there were wires sticking out from all over me. And it was _loud,_ so _loud_.

I let out a whine, and one of the women turned to me from her seat. “Andi, my name is Lacy, we’re here to help you.” A piteous whimper answered her. “I know you’re in a lot of pain, but we’re going to take care of you, okay?” She looked away and barked an order at someone beside her. “Now you’re going to get really sleepy in a minute and I need you not to fight it, okay? We’re going to get you warmed up and get some nutrients in you and everything will be okay. Do you understand, Andi?”

I blinked rapidly and she smiled. I had never been so relieved to see kindness before. Maybe she was an angel and I had died after all. That would be nice. I would like to not live anymore.

Someone injected a syringe into one of the wires connected to me, and for once warmth licked up my legs then rushed through my core. Sleep seemed like a good idea after all.

My eyelids fluttered shut, and when I slipped under, I dreamt of Christmas.

                                                ***

 

A gentle beeping guided me back to consciousness, and for a moment I couldn’t figure out why I was so sore. Then everything flooded back to me and I sat up with a start.

I was in what looked like some sort of high tech hospital room, with a gajillion wires hooked up to pretty much every part of me. A quick look down my gown revealed stitches up my chest as well. I was alive! Like genuinely, actually alive!

My excitement caused a flurry of noises from the machines connected to me and someone in scrubs quickly walked in.

“Andi, is it?” They greeted genially.

I nodded, unsure if I should be happy to see this woman or not.

“My name is Dr. Archbold, if you don’t mind, I’d like to check your stitches and a few other things.”

“Okay…” I murmured, voice more of a croak than anything else.

She took a step toward me, the essence of calm and collected. To be truthful, her demeanor was putting me at ease too. Although I was pretty sure my mind was still catching up to everything that had happened.

Gently, she gripped my chin and shone a light in my eye. Matter of factly, she asked my gaze to follow her finger as she moved it in different directions, then for me to keep my eye still and move my head. When she was satisfied with that, she lowered the collar of my hospital gown to check on the wound to my chest. For a split second I tensed and almost struck her, but I caught the impulse before I actually socked my doctor.

“Very, very good, Andi.” She murmured. “Now I know you are probably pretty curious as to what’s going on, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to take your reintegration in stages. You have a lot to catch up on. Does that sound fair to you?”

“Um, sure. I guess. Do I have a lot to catch up on?”

“Very much. You’ve been here at our facilities in an induced coma for a little over two weeks. We estimate you spent another two weeks trapped in Loki’s lair.”

“Wow… so a month?”

She nodded. “For now, just rest as much as you can. We know you have been through hell and back, and we’re willing to provide whatever you need to recover here.”

I was having trouble wrapping my mind around everything.

“…Thanks, I guess.” I paused for a moment, mulling over what I should ask first, if anything. “And where exactly is _here_?”

A small smile pulled at the corner of Dr. Archbold’s lips. “You’re at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Andi. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

 

                                                                                                                                               

 


	10. Codependent Rebuilding

The first few days were just a weird blur of tests, having my chest examined and falling asleep at a moment’s whim while my body figured out what the hell its circadian rhythm was. My doc was pretty chill, she took care to catch me up to speed on everything that happened after I had been killed –which is a really weird thing to think about when I phrased it that way.

Apparently Loki had been whisked away to Asgard, muzzle and all. Turns out my visions were right about him losing. I hoped they beat him to an inch of his life, let him heal, then burned him at the stake. Sadly, no one could confirm one happened to him, so I only had my execution theories. Oh, and nightmares. Lots of nightmares.

_Too white teeth buried themselves into my neck, red welling up around icy lips. Strong hands gripped my hips and pushed down, applying more and more pressure until something popped. Everything was darkness and pain, and I could only hear my tormenter laughing, and whispering his violent intentions in my ear._

_A snake, coiling around my feet, but unseen._

_The earth cracking, then crumbling away from underneath me._

I jolted awake, gasping and wild eyed. I calmed down pretty fast, remembering I was safe in my recovery suite. But then that calm evaporated pretty fast when I realized Agent Barton was starting down at me.

We locked eyes for a moment, both of our expression pretty shocked. We were silent just long enough for it to go a hair past awkward, and I wasn’t exactly sure what to do. Oh hey, guy who rescued me after I raped you. Thanks for all that stuff. Are we cool?

I just barely managed to open my mouth when the agent turned on his heel and left without a word.

…Hawkward.

“Are you alright?” Dr. Archbold asked, peeking her head around the corner. “Your monitor’s showing a little more stress than I’m comfortable with.”

I shrugged and leaned back into my pillows. “Just another nightmare. Nothing to worry about.”

She nodded. “You’re down to about two a day. Have you found a coping mechanism for your stress?”

“I dunno, I don’t think so.”

“Well we have a councilor on hand the moment you feel you are ready.”

“Hey Doc,”

“Yes, Andi?

I paused, licking my lips and trying to think of a classy way to put my stupid question. “How much did Barton tell you about…about what Loki did to me?”

She turned her head minutely to the side, which I had learned was what she did when she was deciding on exactly how blunt to be. That’s why I liked her; she didn’t sugar coat anything.

“He made us aware of the trauma you had been dealt. Imprisonment, malnourished, constant terrorizing, beatings, and violent rape. He didn’t give details, if it makes you feel better, but your body told me enough.”

“…oh,” I murmured, feeling slightly embarrassed and not really knowing why. Of course my doctor knew I was raped. Everyone probably knew. Poor little Andi, Loki’s little victim.

There was a sigh from the woman and she sat by the side of my bed. “This is highly unprofessional of me, but if I could, I would dissect the man who did this alive, and let you castrate him with a hot knife.”

I smiled at that. “I like the way you think.”

“I am glad, otherwise that would make our patient-doctor relationship quite uncomfortable. Now, I have a physical therapy plan drawn up and I would like your input on it.”

“Fire away.” I murmured.

                                                            *

Why had no one ever told me how fast muscle disappeared on bed rest? I had no idea I was going to have to relearn to _walk._ And I had lost so much weight. I was just basically a lumpy bag of skin and scars now.

I grumbled to myself and I struggled to hold myself upright between the two bars on either side of me. I was going to be stronger than ever, I had decided. I would learn to walk, then actually run, then learn to fight. I wasn’t going to let anyone overpower me again. I would bulk up, put on the muscle, and generally kick ass.

Barton, or Clint as Archbold called him, would walk into my room every now and then. He had an open invitation, which I had explained to the doc. He would kinda linger against the wall, like he wanted to say something, but eventually leave without uttering a word. I appreciated his presence none the less. It made me feel like maybe he didn’t hate me for getting off on molesting him.

Time passed pretty uneventfully and for once I was glad of it. I spent a solid month just eating, sleeping, healing and logging countless hours of physical therapy. Just like I knew I would, I was progressing much faster than Dr. Archbold was entirely comfortable with, but she didn’t stop me. Which I was pretty damn grateful for.

“Your trainer told me you handled the balance ball really well today.” She stated as she walked in briskly. “How do you feel you are doing?”

“Good,” I answered honestly, pulling off my shoes. “I finally feel like all my muscles are finally connected again.”

“That _is_ good.” She had a strange tone and I looked up at her to see that half smile on her face again.

“What?”

“I have a surprise for you. Would you like to come with me?”

“Man, I just took my shoes off.”

“It is worth it. I promise.”

I very laboriously put my sneakers back on, sarcastically bemoaning how hard my life was while my Doc just stood there, smile still stuck on her face. When I was finally ready, she led me out into the hall and to a silver colored, futuristic looking elevator.

Thoughtfully, she walked slowly for me, and kept her arm out in case I needed it. She was one of the few females I knew that was taller than me, so I appreciated that the support was there in case I lost my still tenuous balance.

We entered the elevator, still silent, and it whisked us off like a bullet train.

“So, we going to a new therapy area or something?”

“We’ll see.”

I shrugged and waited patiently. I used to be horrible about this kinda stuff, but I dunno, after everything that had happened, I didn’t mind waiting a few seconds to find out what my doc had in store.

The lift stopped and we exited into a hall that was pretty unremarkable. There was maybe six doors on either side, and not much else.

Dr. Archbold moved brusquely, stopping at the third door.

“Your apartment.” She stated matter of factly.

“My what?”

“Your physical therapist and I believe you are more than capable of handling your own day to day function. You’re still expected to make all of your appointments and we do need to interview you about all that you might know of the alien called Loki.”

“God.” I corrected absently, palm pressed to the smooth wood of my new home.

“Perhaps. But for now, you have the night to rest. Your fridge is filled with the basics should you get hungry. There are also directions to the general cafeteria on your counter.” She gave me a genuine smile. “Enjoy your new quarters, Andi. You’ve earned them.”

She handed me a key card then exited. I stood there silently for a moment, trying to absorb the goodness that was filling me.

Letting out a sigh of contentment, I opened my door and entered my new life.

                                                            *

 

I thought I would love being on my own. And while I did enjoy the niceties of private showered, not getting raped, and the absence of beeping machines –I never realized how terrifying the dark was.

Or being alone at night.

Although I had what had to be a queen sized memory foam bed, for the first few days I couldn’t sleep. Even the slightest noise could be Loki returning for me, the faintest flicker in the lights was my master finally returning for me. It was terrifying, and both PT and Doc Archbold noticed, but didn’t say much about it. Until the fourth day, that is, when I was exiting a particularly draining session, to find Agent Barton waiting at the door.

“Oh… hey,” I murmured, standing there awkwardly.

“Hey,” He returned, equally eloquent.

“Ah Clint, there you are.” My PT said, stepping in from the small gym where me and several other recovering agents went through our rehabilitation. “Dr. Archbold and I noticed you’ve both been exhibiting worrying levels high levels anxiety.”

“I wonder why.” Barton muttered, straightening himself. “In other words they think we have PTSD and we can help each other cope. It was proven in some study or something.”

“Survivors of same trauma may facilitate each other’s recovery,” I shot back. He raised his eyebrow at me and I shrugged. “The Doc read me medical journals when we were both bored.”

“Sounds thrilling,” he stepped away from the door and made a little bowing gesture. “After you then?”

“Why not?”

I walked out the door, trying to construct a conversation in my head. But what did you say to the guy who you had raped, and then had almost drowned you? I had asked myself this question at least a dozen times and I still didn’t have an answer.

Agent Barton was just as verbose as I was, walking beside me like a silent sentry. He was dressed in a simple black undershirt and dark cargo pants. It was unnerving to me to realize he was actually pretty good looking. I had never really paid attention to his attractiveness when I was living from attack to attack. He was just my kinda ally. Ish. Thing. It was also weird how old he was. At least thirties, maybe forties, and cut with muscle. He was way out of my league, but I had tapped that.

Forcibly.

We arrived at my door without saying a single word, and faced each other as I fumbled to pull my key card out of my PT bag.

“Well, thanks for walking with me.” I mumbled weakly.

He nodded, the muscles in his jaw working like he wanted to say something. Finally, I couldn’t take it amore and blurted out what I had been struggling to say for weeks.

“I’m sorry for ra-”

“I know sorry isn’t enough, but I _am_  sorry for what I did.”

I blinked stupidly at him. “Wait, sorry for what?”

Now it was his turn to stare at me incredulously. “Oh I dunno, raping and almost killing you?”

I frowned. “No, I raped _you._ ”

“What? No, I’m pretty sure it did _not_ happen that way.”

“What are you talking about!” I snapped. “I totally raped you! You were under mind control and stuff!”

“You’re practically a girl who was half beaten to death! I should have fought harder!”

“You were under mind control, I had free will. _I_ was the one who should have fought harder!”

He let out a frustrated breath and we both kinda glowered at each other before we realized exactly what we were arguing about.

Suddenly I was laughing hysterically and Barton was echoing with loud peals of mirth. We were so stupid. And prideful. Both of us carrying the weight and guilt of being the bad guy when we were just pitiful little victims.

“You’re not half bad, Andi.” Clint stated once we got control of ourselves.

I sent him a goofy grin but didn’t really care that I looked like a dork. “Thanks.” I slid my key card, and the door swung open to a dark room. Abruptly, I didn’t want to go in and spend another night alone. Another night fearing _he_ would somehow escape his prison and find me.

“You okay?” Barton asked, noting my pause.

I looked up to him, my real eye and my new fake eye trying not to water. “Would you like to come in?”

He shrugged. “Why not? Got any beer?”

I lead him in, flooded with relief. “I dunno. I don’t really drink. Check the fridge though.”

He sauntered over to my kitchen and I settled myself down at my table, where I had several drawings piled up from my sleepless nights. Apparently Barton did indeed find the beer he was looking for, and joined me in my generic sitting area, bottle in hand.

“You draw those all in just three days?” He asked, turning a chair around and sitting in it backwards, crossing his arms over the top. I didn’t know if he was putting on an air of casualness or was actually so at home, but it made me feel better.

“Nights mostly.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

“It might be one of the symptoms I’ve been exhibiting.” I retorted cheekily. Barton chuckled, then gulped down more of his beer.

“It’s always the worst when I don’t have things to distract me.” His blue eyes looked levelly at me. “I feel like he’s going to find a way into my mind again. Take over.”

I let out a long, long breath. Doc was right. This was helping me. Clint understood. We both understood. “Wanna talk about revenge?”

His grin was wolfish when he replied. “I thought you’d never ask.”

                                                *

 

_Alabaster white hands gripped my hips, nails leaving little half-moons of angry red along my skin. The sound of flesh on flesh thundered in my ears, with a counterpoint of pained whimpers and sadistic hisses._

_My body, broken and bloodied in a dark room, nothingness nipping at my feet like hungry dogs._

_I was in Loki’s room again, trapped on the floor in a pool of my own blood._

I snapped forward, a short scream punching out of my throat. Barton jumped up from where he was sleeping on my couch, dagger in his hand. I held up a palm, focusing on controlling my rapid breaths, and he tucked his weapon away.

“You okay?”

“Night terror,” I murmured between wheezes.

To my surprise, he came over and sat next to me on the bed. His large, callused hand patted my back soothingly, and gave me a rhythm to tie my breaths to. After a moment I calmed down enough to realize that both of us had spent the entire night in my apartment.

“You’re not gonna be in trouble for being late, or something?” I asked. I didn’t want him to be reprimanded, but I also didn’t want him to leave my side. Comfort was not something I took for granted nowadays, and it felt borderline heavenly for even a little affection. I mean, Dr. Archbold was nice and all, but all of her exams were crisp and professional, which is what I needed in my doc. But not my friend.

Was Agent Barton my friend? I suppose it would help if I called him Clint.

“No. I was flagged by a trauma councilor. I can’t go back to active duty until I jump through all these hoops and prove I’m fine.”

“Are you fine?”

“I just slept on your couch rather than go be alone in my quarters. What do you think?”

“Touché.”

We sat there for several more minutes until my stomach let out a long rumble. “You hungry?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Want some cereal?”

He shot me a disapproving look. “Cereal? You’re healing from some major injuries, how about some protein? I know they usually stock newcomers fridges with eggs and sausage.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know how to cook.” That look went from disapproving to incredulous. “What? I was a waitress, not kitchen staff.”

He sighed and shook his head at me. “Just go take a shower. Let me handle this.”

Although it was incredibly difficult, I managed to pry myself from the gentle pats on my back and grabbed some sweat pants and a tank top to change into.

Before I had died for the first, if you told me that I was going to end up in a fully furnished apartment in some sort of super spy HQ, with Barton tending to my needs, I would have thought you were crazier than the madman torturing me. But that’s what was happening.

Who knew, maybe somehow there could be a happy ending for me after all. 


	11. Mutual Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Alright guys! So I know I've been gone for super long and I was actually in pretty rough shape for a while! Basically I got really sick and had to be hospitalized. Long story short, I was basically on the verge of liver failure and going septic aaaand I lost an organ. Not a great time. So I'm recovering now, but I'm about 16K in debt due to medical bills, so that has really made writing hard. Anyways, here's a very short chappie while I get myself in order. Much love! <3 <3 A/N

_Whump!_

My side hit the matt with a resounding thump, and I glared at the therapy ball I had been trying -and failing- to balance on. Sweat dripped into my eye and I hurredly got to my feet before my PT could catch me then make me take a break.

Thankfully I had the whole walking, bending and lifting motions down pat, so I was under considerably less supervision. Unfortunately my balance and endurance were still pretty horrendous. Dr. Archbold said I basically needed to retrain all of my core, due to atrophy while I was...well... dead.

I just wanted to get to the punching and kicking part of my therapy so I could take out my pent up rage on some unsuspecting pillows. But anytime I raised one foot off the floor, or moved too fast, I ended up on my ass. Which was, btw, not as cushy as it once was.

I let out a grunt and kinda rolled/flailed onto my feet again. Of course my graceful meneuver halted when I heard a chuckle from the door.

“What do you want” I grumbled as Agent Barton continued to smirk at me.

“Not much, maybe pick on a cripple or two.”

“Of course. Did you also kick some puppies on your way here?”

“You betcha.” A slight smile broke through his sarcastic dead pan. “You hungry, or do you wanna keep flopping around like a magicarp?”

“Aren't you a little old for Pokemon, Legolas?”

“I've got to stay occupied in my down time somehow.” I laughed at the thought of Clint playing DS in the middle of a war zone, but somehow it wasn't entirely unbelievable. “Anyways, want me to cook you lunch or something?”

“It's four o' clock.”

“Fine. Dinner then. I just got some steaks at the commissary and it's depressing to eat them alone.”

“Steak?” I parroted, perking up. I hadn't had steak since....ever. “Why didn't you say so?”

“Heaven forbid you actually enjoy my company.”

“Whatever, Mr. Chef.” I grabbed a towel off the wall. “Lemme just check out with the boss man.”

“Already taken care of.”

I shrugged and we left. Out of habit I started to head to my quarters, but Clint steered me in the correct direction. Not without teasing me a million times, of course.

It didn't take long to get to his apartment; the hall leading to his room was practically identical to the one I was familiar with.

“It's kinda weird how cookie cutter this whole super spy HQ is.”

“HQ?” Barton shot me a look. “HQ got destroyed. This is just a rehab facility for those hurt in the line of duty or agents slated for counseling or debriefing.”

“...oh.”

“Most of us have our own apartments, outside of SHIELD.I know I can't wait to get back to mine. But,” he slid his card through the reader and the door swung open. “I make do.”

He gestured for me to step in, so I sauntered into his bachelor pad. It was pretty similar to mine, except for the dartboard, pinball machine and pool table.... and the cool standing lamps in each corner... and the king sized bed...

Okay, so it was the Hilton compared to my Days Inn, but I wasn't really that jealous. Barton deserved nice things.

“Thirsty?”

I nodded and the agent set about finding me a cup. “You said you don't like beer, right?”

“Not really”

“I got pepsi, beer, expired milk, more beer annnd... oh, orange juice. Can that expire? Is that a thing?”

“I'll have water.”

“Boring.”

“With ice.” I corrected blithely, flopping onto his couch.

He muttered something snarky, but still went about getting my drink before puttering around in the kitchen.

I sipped at my water, letting myself sink into the cushions. I didn't have to be on edge here. This was a safe place. Clint was safe.

My eyes darted over to the fit agent as he prepared some absurdly thick cuts of meat. Sometimes, when I looked at him I would flashback to his tensing jaw, the eyes desperately trying to communicate with me, his locked muscles and I felt less alone. He was raped by a god just like me -where else on earth was I going to find that kind of camaraderie?

I let that line of thought kinda drift away, and just enjoyed the sound of Clint trying to be normal. The steaks were finished pretty quickly for the mini-grill he had, and we ate in mutual silence; just kinda enjoying the presence of the other.

It wasn't until afterward, when we were both full and content that Barton suggested a game of darts. At that I laughed, but accepted his challenge anyway. As it turned out, I wasn't bad at darts.

I was terrible.

Like mind blowingly, almost impossibly terrible at darts.

“You didn't even hit the circle that time!” My only friend snorted, yanking four darts out of the pillows on his bead. “I didn't even know that was possible.”

“Shut up.” I muttered obstinately. “Let's blame it on my rehabilitation and leave it at that.”

“Oh yes, because of all the things Loki did to you, I'm sure throwing off your darts game was truly the most dastardly.”

I choked on my own spit then started laughing. “Yup, that's it. Sure he raped, tortured and killed me, but the worse thing that bastard did was ruin my aim. Such tragedy.”

“I'm glad you found that funny,” Barton shot back, nudging me out of the way as he took his turn. “That was a really thin line I impaled there.” He smirked at his choice in words and I cuffed him in his bicep.

“It's nice to make a joke about it. Like I'll be able to get over it someday.”

He nodded, and the mood shifted a little. “Hey, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you.”

“Mmmhmm?” I murmured, watching as he hit the center of the board yet again.

“You said something to me, when we were prisoners. And I uh-” his next dart was a hair outside of the bulls-eye. Interesting. “I was just wondering what you meant.”

“Oh, what'd I say?”

He let out a nervous laugh, and I felt confusion try to creep in my mind. What was he acting so cagey for? “It was the first time you and I...uh... met. You whispered to me that you'd never had it not hurt before.”

“Yeah?” Where was he going with this?

Another dart, this one slightly farther off his target. “Well you meant that you'd never had it not hurt with him before, right? I mean, a girl like you's gotta have some great memories -maybe in the back of a pick up truck, or at prom? A cute customer your restaurant?”

“No, not really.”

“...what do you mean not really...?” He posed to throw his last dart, but his arm just made the motion several times without his hand releasing the barb.

“I meant not really. Loki was the only man I'd been with up to that point.”

Suddenly there was a dart buring it's tip into the wall. Clint was rigid, and I felt a weird sort of uneasiness in my gut. “Loki was your first.” He ground out. “You were a virgin.” I stayed silent as he tensed. “So you're telling me, the only sexual experiences you've ever had, have been rape?” His voice shot up in volume. “That I'm one of the two people you've ever slept with and it was _against your will?_ ”

Oh shit. I knew this tone. I used it on myself plenty of times. This was the self loathing, destruct mode. “It's not your fault! Loki made us do what we did. You can't blame yourself anymore than I can blame me. Come on-”

He slammed his fists down on his pool table and I heard wood crack. “I am a grown man and Agent of SHIELD. I should have found a way! I could have done something to stop myself from being your goddamn rapist! Any-”

His tirade suddenly cut short. Probably because there was something over his mouth. Oh yeah... my lips.

I felt his musculature jolt under my hands and they wrapped around his waist. I didn't know why I was kissing Clint, but I just knew that I needed him to shut up.

I pulled away from him after a moment, suddenly terrified of what I had done and the terrible silence weighing thickly in the air. Then his eyes locked with mine and he returned my kiss with twice the heat.

For several moments my entire world was fire, pressure, and desperately clutching at each other like we the last lifeline in a very open sea. It was panic, and solace; terror and relief. His lips moved against mine and his callused hands massaged the bare skin of my back. This was a stupid decision. A terrible decision. And I didn't care.

“Hey Clint,”

“What?” He grumbled into my lips.

“Wanna help me change that ratio?”


	12. Traitorous Subterfuge

Barton stared at me, expression shuttling through his eyes so fast that I couldn't interpret them.

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“I'm saying you make a good point. All I've experienced is pain and torture. Maybe making a 'great memory' will help me recover.”

 

“You want to sleep with one of your rapists to feel better?”

 

I let out an exasperated sigh and slapped my palms against his shoulders. “Oh come off of it, Barton! Stop acting like some sort of tormented hero. I raped you just as much as you raped me. And I'm willing to bet Loki tortured you way before I even got there.” I leveled my gaze at him, for once completely serious. “No one else in the world is going to understand what we went though. So call me crazy, but I find a little mutual co-rehabilitation a plausible idea.”

 

I felt him relax under my palms, but his expression was still strained. “I'm not sure I'm ready for that.”

 

“That's fine.” I murmured, resting my head against his chest. “But can we stay like this for a while?”

 

There was a beat of silence. “Actually, there's something I've been wanting to do for ages.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

He stepped away from me and held up a finger for me to wait.

 

He disappeared off to the bathroom and returned looking sheepish. “Alright, I know this is weird but... can I brush your hair?”

 

A wide smile broke out on my face. “ _Hell. Yes._ ”

 

And that's how I ended up marathoning Breaking Bad while laying on Agent Barton's couch, my head in his lap as he tried to get a brush through my scarlet locks.

 

I tried to resist purring contentedly, but there was something inherently wonderful about someone gently brushing your hair. “So what exactly gave you the urge to go at this mess?” I asked during the ending credits of a particularly tense episode.

 

He shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I have a thing for red hair.” He let out a small chuckle. “There's an agent around here I work with a lot. After particularly harrowing missions, she occasionally will ask me to brush her hair for her. It seems to help her relax more than anything else I've seen, and I appreciate the wind down too. Maybe we all just need something mundane when the world gets a little too insane to be real.”

 

“Mmmm, I like this theory.”

 

The next episode started up, and the conversation drifted off. All in all, I was pretty sure I was in paradise.

 

 

 

 

Sweat dripped into my eyes as I struggled to hold myself steady on the balance ball. I could do this. I could do this. I could do th-

 

_WHUMP!_

 

Okay, I could do it next time.

 

I groaned and sat up from where I had crashed on the floor. A quick glance to the clock told me Clint was probably going to show up in about fifteen or so. It had been almost a week since I had first made my suggestion, and we had been meeting after my daily PT like clockwork. I wouldn't say there were any romantic feelings between us, but there was something there. A trust, a camaraderie. A type of bond that had been forged in hellfire and wasn't going away anytime soon. He mattered to me and made me feel safe, and hey, that was pretty cool.

 

The door opened and I scrambled to my feet before he could tease me for yet again falling on my rear. But it wasn't Barton at the door at the door at all.

 

“Oh... hello?” I asked, startled by the four men in suits who were just standing in the door. “Are you looking for Lucas?”

 

“Miss Rotlig?” One of them queried.

 

I blinked stupidly at him. “Yeah, that's me.”

 

He stepped forward an extended a hand. “Ah, I am Agent Nemilos. I just finished speaking with Dr. Archbold about your recovery, and there are a few questions we'd like to ask you.”

 

Still blinking. I should probably stop that. “Oh, okay.”

 

He moved to the side and gestured to the door. “Would you come with us please? Some place we can sit down and chat.”

 

I nodded and walked out into the hall. The men flanked me, two on either side, and ushered me towards the elevator. The hair on the back on my neck stood on end as Nemilos blathered on.

 

“We're pleased to hear that your treatment has been going well. We just have a couple of questions for you on your involvement with the being known as Loki Laufeyson.”

 

We reached a door and they ushered me in. “Uh-huh.”

 

“Have a seat?”

 

I looked around the room and was immediately uncomfortable by my stark surroundings. There were four white walls, one table with a chair on either side. Awkwardly, I sat in the closest seat, and my chaperone crossed to the other side. Two agents stood on either side of the door behind me and the remaining guard posted himself behind the seated Nemilos.

 

“So,” He began, suddenly procuring a manila folder from his within his suit. With a flourish he opened it and I was treated to the sight of what must have been my body when they first found me. Dead was not a good color on me. “Shall we start from the beginning Miss Rotlig?”

 

“Andi,” I muttered non-commitally.

 

“Ah, of course. _Andi._ Tell us, how did you come in contact with known enemy of the state, one Loki Laufeyson?” 

 

I felt goosebumps raise along my arms. Something here was off, so terribly off. “Well, I was going out into the woods to test out my new camera-

 

“A camera?” He shot me what was probably supposed to be a charming smile. “Are you a photographer?”

 

“Not professionally.”

 

“What kind of model did you use?”

 

“Canon EOS Rebel. Why, are you interested in photography?”

 

“I have a mild interest in surveillance.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“So, you were walking in the woods... and then?”

 

“I dunno. I ran into a giant tree and it sucked me in and next thing I knew I was being punched in the face by Loki.”

 

“A tree... sucked you in.”

 

I shrugged. “Pretty much.

 

He gave me a kind of half smile, then squinted at me. Abruptly he turned over a couple of paper in the open folder. “See, here's the thing, Miss R- I'm sorry,  _ Andi.  _ We tried to look up your family to tell them that you had been found. Funny thing is, you don't seem to have any family. At all. Or medical records. Or a social security number. Or a birth certificate. In fact, it almost seems like you don't exist at all.”

 

I felt my core twist and tighten. This was not a friendly encounter. Unbidden, I felt my heart start to pound, and the corner of my vision started to bleed into concrete gray. I had to dig my nails into my thighs to remind myself that I was not imprisoned by Loki -I was just being questioned about it.

 

“Loki must have done something to my records.” I ground out. I was fairly sure explaining that I was an extra dimensional rape-baby half Norn was not going to do me much service. 

 

“Ah. But why go though something like that for a piece of lowly human scum.” He leaned across the table, all smiles and cordial, but I still leaned back reflexively. He was too close. “And I think we can both agree that Loki believes us humans are lower than the dirt he walks on.”

 

“I think that is an accurate statement.”

 

“Alright, so tell me then Andi. Why would a homicidal alien delete every trace of you, then leave you exactly where you needed to be so we would find you? I mean, it's not every day that a mentally compromised agent goes rogue and leads us to a mutilated corpse that just OH! magically comes alive once medics are on the scene. I mean, come on, wouldn't you find that a little suspicious from our perspective?”

 

“Why don't you just say what you want to say?” I spat. I felt a sickening mixture of rage and terror swirl within me. It was hard not to slip into memories in such a confined, tension filled room, but at the same time I was infuriated that they were trying to capitalize on my PTSD. If they even believed I had PTSD.

 

“Straight to the point. I like that.” He leveled his gaze at me, abruptly terse. “It seems a much more likely scenario is that you are either in league with Loki and are trying to subvert our victory in New York, or you are still under his thrall and are merely working as a sleeper agent until the right time.”

 

The rage won out.

 

“Are you fucking serious?” I screamed, jumping to my feet so my chair clattered to the floor. “That monster _raped_ me for days on end and you think I'm some sort of 007?” I slammed my palms on the table and leaned down until my nose was almost touching my interrogator's. “He took _everything_ from me. My virginity, my dignity, my life. No one hates that beast more than I do!”

 

Nemilos just smirked. “That's why I'm leaning more towards the sleeper agent. Much more plausible considering your injuries.”

 

“ _I'm not-_ ”

 

“And if that is indeed the case, you are most certainly a danger to SHIELD and the United States of America. As such, we have decided you are too great a threat to let wander about as you wish-”

 

“A threat?! I can't even get up a flight of steps without a rest!”

 

“-so protocol states you should be immediately moved to a more secure facility with 24 hour surveillance.”

 

“So prison?” I screeched, rearing back from him.

 

The smirk widened. “Something like that. Better catering though.”

 

I whirled and tried to run, but the men at the door grabbed my arms and bore me backwards until I was flat on the table. I screamed and kicked my legs out, but they held me fast. My vision filled with Nemilos' upside down face and he looked down at me.

 

“I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Andi, but this would go much faster if you did not resist.”

 

“ _Fuck you!”_ I screamed, feeling myself turn red. “Let me go! Let me go _now!_ ” I felt my face turn red and sweat break across my body. I fought against their hold, and I fought the rushing deluge of memory threatening to devour me. These were humans, not gods. They were just trying to detain me, not rape me. And best of all, they were not immortal.

 

But immortal or not, my chances of beating out four trained agents were slim to none. I felt what was left of my spirit crumble and crack under pragmatism. So I did the only thing I could do.

 

“ _BARTON!_ ”

 

For a moment the room stilled, as if we were all expecting some explosion, but after several beats nothing happened and Nemilos was smirking again. “Don't worry, Miss Rotlig. We have some very proven methods for rehabilitating from brain washing. Our psychologists in lock down are very compete-”

 

Then the door flew off it's hinges.

 

“What the  _fuck_ is going on?” That was Clint.

 

Abruptly a chair slammed into the back of one of my guards, followed swiftly by a right hook. And that was Dr. Archbold.

 

Everything was a whirl of movement, and I let myself slide to the floor. I was aware Nemilos and the other two men were putting up quite a bit of a fight, but Dr. Archbold and Clint had unbridled fury on their side. When all was said and done, the no-names were knocked unconscious, and Barton had Nemilos propped up in the very same chair he had been interrogating me in.

 

“Who authorized this?” He bellowed, slamming his fist into the smug man's middle. “Does Fury know?”

 

The man shook his head, spitting blood from his busted lip. “Agent Maria Hill authorized me to use my best judgment.”

 

Another punch. “And your best judgment was to psychically assault a  _rape_ victim?”

 

“ _Alleged_ rape victim.”

 

And that pretty much ended the conversation. 

 

“You go,” Dr. Archbold murmured. “I'll deal with the paper work. You get her out of here.”

 

He nodded and then I was being led by my list out of the room. He didn't say anything as he pulled me down the hall and into the elevator, and for a while all I could hear was my harsh breath rasping through my dry mouth.

 

“Barton?” I questioned.

 

But he just shook his head and kept on pulling me until we reached his room. Wordlessly, he slid his card and then pulled me inside. Once the door was firmly closed, he finally turned to me.

 

“Are you alright?” He breathed, voice tense enough to cut steal.

 

I started to nod, but then the shaking started up. “No,” I whispered, angrily rubbing tears from my eyes. “I'm scared, and I'm angry that I'm scared. God, what am I supposed to do? They wanted to take me away, Clint. They were going to lock me up like some criminal.”

 

He crossed the distance to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Andi, we will never let that happen.  _I_ will never let that happen.”

 

My breath steadied and I found myself looking up into his determined eyes. For a moment, I could see a breath of hesitance in his gaze, and then his lips were on mine. 

 

And moving as one, we fell together.

 

 


	13. Intertwined Destruction

Barton's lips moved against mine, his weight sinking me into his mattress. But the pressure was welcome, and safe. Every bit of me seemed to burn with fire, but I loved it. My hands roved along his back, finally finding a perch on his hips and gripping there to hold onto reality.

 

He, apparently was just as busy, because suddenly my shirt was up over my head. I didn't even have time to insecurely cover up before his lips were on my neck, promising me delicious things. I tugged at his belt in response, while somehow managing to kick my flats off. My movement allowed him to settle comfortably between my legs and our pelvises were flush together.

 

My heart was going a mile a second, but it was a happy sort of adrenaline ride. I could only gasp in excited revelation as Clint made me feel a type of pleasure I had certainly daydreamed about, but never actually experienced.

 

All thoughts of Loki flew from my mind as I was engulfed in happiness and security. Maybe this sex thing wasn't so bad after all. Although I should probably wait until the actual sex part to decide that.

 

“Is this okay?” I heard Clint groan into my neck. “I'm not going too fast, am I?”

 

I shook my head and gave him a look of what I hoped was unadulterated joy. “Not even close.”

 

He shot me that sort of mischievous smirk he made whenever he thought he was being clever. “I'll have to pick up the pace then.”

 

I might have had a comeback, but it quickly faded as Barton kissed down the valley between my breasts and his hands started to peel off my gym pants. His lips were surprisingly warm and wonderful, leaving a trail of blazing want in their wake. I was trembling by the time he threw my sweats into a corner, and I thought I was going to implode when his warm mouth stopped at the top of my camo boxers.

 

“Really?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“They were on sale at the commissary and I needed not grandma panties.”

 

“Well, now you need no panties.” Then his fingers hooked into the elastic band and he was tugging them down.

 

The second I was free from my discount undies, his lips resumed their work. Slowly, he kissed his way down onto my hip, then to my inner thigh. It was so entirely better than anything Loki had ever done, despite all his bragging about his silver tongue'd gift. I felt like I was being driven mad with tension and desire.

 

My friend and savior lovingly paid just as much attention to the opposite thigh, before he slowly, ever. so. _slowly_. kissed the apex between my thighs.

 

I drew in a shuddering breath, and that seemed to be all the encouragement Barton needed. His mouth moved over me, tongue moving in languid strokes. My whole body lit in sensation I had never experienced before. Oh god! No wonder no one ever shut up about sex.

 

My thighs clenched around his head and his callused hands came up to cup and adjust them. He was so powerful. So raw, and heady. And his tongue was flicking against my most sensitive spot _just right._

 

A loud mewl escaped my throat before I could reel back my ecstasy, but that just made Barton chuckle into me. The vibration was heavenly on its own, but it was soon followed by a long, deep lick. 

 

Soon the mewls just turn into outright cries, and Barton had me a sweating, trembling mess.

 

“Oh god,” I gasped, hand reaching down to grip his short, sandy blond hair. “Barton, I think... I think I'm going to...”

 

He paused for just a moment. “Why don't you stop talking about it and do it?” 

 

Normally, I would like to think I would hit someone for that, but then he was back to work and I felt that wave I had felt a few times before come rushing in like an unstoppable tsunami.

 

“ _Clint!”_ I heard myself shriek in utter abandonment. Other than that, I wasn't aware of much else, besides the floods of relief and ecstasy flooding my every cell.

 

When I came down, Barton sat up for a moment, muscled arms on either side of me. He looked pleased with himself, and I was pretty happy too. 

 

“You look beautiful like this.”

 

“I _feel_ beautiful like this.” We shared a small laugh and abruptly I wanted him to know how very important this was to me. “I've never had it like this, Clint. I had no idea it could be so....so....” I pulled him down into a kiss, trying to communicate physically what my mind could not come up with a word for. I could feel his heated bulge pressing into my thigh, and reached down for it, but he caught my hand.

 

“How about an encore?”

 

“What? I mean, you don't have-”

 

But he was on his way down again and once more I was speechless.

 

Yeah. I could get used to this.

 

I never knew I could be played like a well strung violin. I didn't know where Barton got his training, and I did not care. I was in heaven. Everything about this was everything my time with Loki was not. There was no fear, no violence, and Clint was listening to my body rather than torturing it.

 

That wave was rolling in again and my whole body thrummed with energy. I was sweating, and panting, but he didn't stop until I crested it and called out his name.

 

He let me ride out the euphoria, before finally sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I must have blushed scarlet because he laughed lightly. "If you keep making expressions like that, I just might not stop."

 

I rolled my eyes and reached for him. "Shut up and kiss me."

 

Of course he obliged and soon I was faced with the challenge of making out with my hot agent friend while also trying to get his shirt off. Why didn't they have a class for this in Home Ec? It would be

hella useful to- Oh! I had finally gotten him free of his shirt, and my hands were greedily drinking in his musculature. He made me feel safe. And protected. And-WHY WAS HE WEARING PANTS????

 

I tugged angrily at his waistband so he did the gentlemanly thing and yanked them off. I took a moment to take in the sight of him as he stood there, in all his glory. It still seemed so odd that this was happening to me. It wasn't like I was in love with Clint, and I was pretty sure he wasn't in love with me. But we both wanted this so thoroughly. And it was wonderful. Every cell of my body hummed with how right this was.

 

He knelt back down over me, frame warm and massive, and his callused hand cupped my breast. I let out a soft moan, but it was quickly swallowed by another heated kiss.

 

I felt him position himself at my entrance, and for once I was not swamped by fear, or shame. I wanted this. With all of my battered body, I craved it.

 

He slid in, a slick noise sounding from where we connected. I felt so full, but I couldn't wait for him to move. I pushed my hips up, demanding that delicious friction. He obliged, that stupid, adorable smirk on his face.

 

His pace started out slow, and even, but I was having none of that. I mewled and squirmed, and ground my hips against him until he gave in. Our breaths echoed, harsh pants in a quiet room, punctuated by my moans. I knew I was bordering on pornographic with my cries, but I couldn't help it. After months of torture, abuse, and terror, this was utter bliss.

 

Barton sped up yet again, his strong, determined thrusts becoming less calculated as he pounded in to me. I met his every move with equal vigor, until I felt him throb within me. Only a few seconds later, I felt his length pulse, and he let out a relieved cry. He rocked gently a few more times, then stilled -breathing hard- before lowering himself onto me and nuzzling my neck.

 

"That was probably really stupid."

 

I draped my arms across the back of his shoulders. "I don't think so."

 

"I'll have to defer to the lady's opinion then." We were both quiet while our hearts slowed down to their regular paces.

 

"So what now?" Clint murmured after a while.

 

"I don't know about you, but I could kinda go for a nap."

 

"Good idea."

 

 


	14. Sudden Discord

"We didn't use protection." 

"Hmm?" I murmured blearily, still clinging to sleep like a child's blanket.

"I didn't use a condom. I'm pretty sure you're not on the pill." Barton growled from the edge of the bed where he was sitting, head in his hands. "I should have known better. You're a kid; it's my job to-"

"Relax, it's not a problem."

He turned to me, eyes full of that noble concern that I knew so well. "What, do you have the implant or something?"

I shrugged. "During my recovery I elected to have a hysterectomy."

"You what!?"

"Loki was trying to use me as some inter-dimensional baby maker. I figure I'd cut him off before He got the chance."

"Loki's imprisoned. He's never going to hurt anyone again."

I shook my head. "As long as he's out there, he's a threat. He's never going to give me up." I let out a dry laugh. "Listen to me, sounding all important." I sat up, running my fingers through my curls in an effort to sooth myself. It didn't really work. "But I've got two Lokis depending on my uterus, so I thought it would be best to just get rid of it while I could."

Barton was quiet for several moments. “Preventative measures. How very agent of you.”

I laughed and punched his shoulders. “Thanks for noticing. Now how about some food, Mr. Chef?”

“Pff, I'm spoiling you.”

“Are you kidding? I deserve it.”

“You're lucky you're cute.” He shot back, throwing the closest pillow at my face before busying himself in the kitchen. I flopped on back onto the bed, soaking in the scent of Barton and what we had done the previous night. That was probably gross, but it was nice not to have to scrub my skin in shame. 

I could get used to a life like this.  
*

When I went to see Dr. Archbold for my daily check up, she didn't mention anything about the agents that had tried to kidnap me. I took that as a sign that I had nothing to worry about and felt relief flood me. It was shaky, but I think I could say that my life was turning around. I had a best friend in Barton, a confidant in my doc, and a really talented physical therapist that was whipping me back into normal shape. And I didn't even have to waitress anymore. 

My days began to pass in a pleasant rhythm of healing, working out, reading, and lots of great, consensual sex. I finally conquered the stupid balance ball, and got my first ab starting to come in. All in all you could say my life was pretty fantastic.

That's why I was surprised when Clint was not waiting at the door after my physical therapy. He was always there. 

Confused, I made my way down the hall, up the elevators and to his room. It wasn't like him to just not show up without at least a note, so I knocked hurriedly. After several minutes, the agent answered, face tense.

“What happened?” I asked, instantly knowing something was wrong.

“I've been called back into the field.”

“...what?”

“I'll be gone for at least a month, but probably three. Dangerous, top secret. Lots of explosions. The usual.”

“Oh.” I murmured, feeling like the floor had just dropped out from under me. “Well... that's your job, I guess?” He nodded slowly, mouth a thin line. “Will you be coming back afterward?”

“Hopefully. One can never know for sure.”

“I see.”

Several minutes passed with me just staring at him silently. He was my main man, my number one friend, and my ptsd buddy. How was I supposed to survive this without him?

“What are you thinking?”

“Honestly, I don't know.” More staring. More endless uncertainty. “When are you leaving?”

“I've got less than ten minutes left.”

“What?”

“I got my orders twenty minutes ago. SHIELD is nothing if not prompt.”

“So we don't even have time for a goodbye?”

He let out a long sigh and reached down to kiss me. I let him, and it was full of kindness, and the little bit of sauciness I had come to expect of my best friend. “We'll do our goodbyes later. And our welcome backs.”

“You promise?”

“I do.”

I nodded, and offered a fist bump that he took like the total dork he was. We shared a weak laugh before I finally recovered enough to think. “I'm gonna go then. Before I start crying and this ends up a lot less cool than it is now.”

“Like you could ever be cool.”

“Whatever, loser.” I shot him a little half salute and turned on my heel. I walked and walked, and kept walking until I eventually found my own hallway. I must have taken the stairs because I didn't remember using the elevator. Trembling, I reached for my door and stumbled inside. 

Abruptly, all my emotions converged on me in a deluge of terrible sadness. I could feel the tears start up as I hurled myself onto my bed. Barton was an agent. I had known this was going to happen. Why was I acting like such a baby?

I didn't get much of an answer before I cried myself into a fitful sleep.  
*

Bone-white fingers dragged down sallow skin, re-injuring old bruises and cuts alike.

Teeth buried themselves into rounded flesh until red well up, beautiful scarlet against mottled ivory.

A great shadow loomed over me, terrible and imposing. It stretched up to the very sun until the darkness swallowed everything. A sickly noise echoed through the black -laughter. Peal after peal of psychotic laughter.

“Wake up!” A familiar voice murmured through the maelstrom of mirth. “Wake up! He's HERE!”

I jolted like a cat thrown in a tub, suddenly very awake and very wired. Heart hammering, I realized I had never turned the lights on in my room and it was now an inky black throughout my quarters. Faster than I ever thought was possible, I was out of bed and across the room. Searching frantically, my hands patted the wall for the light switch. I knew it was around here- my finger brushed against the edge of the plastic and I sighed in relief as I moved my hand to the switch itself.

There was already a hand over it.

For a moment my mind went completely blank. Slowly, I looked beside me, to see familiar green eyes staring down at me. 

“Hello, pet.”

I did the only thing I could do. I screamed.

Loki reacted with the same godly speed he always had. The next thing I knew, a hand was at my throat and I was being propelled backwards violently. “Did you miss me, my sweet?” He hissed, voice every bit as icy and bitter as I remembered it. “Because you wreak of Barton and sweat.” We had reached the bed and he slammed me down. I kicked and scratched, trying to get enough air to scream again. This couldn't be happening. Not again. This was some nightmare. A terrible, terrible nightmare. “Did you let him fuck you, you little slut?”

He loosened his grip just enough for me to drag in greedy drafts of oxygen. Once I caught my breath, I forced myself to lock eyes with the god. “Yeah, and he was better than you could ever hope to be, you weasel tongued bastard.” I dredged up what last bit of saliva I had and spat right onto his cheek. 

Loki's expression went from playfully murderous to straight up ragingly homicidal. “You would do better to respect the King of Asguard.”

“King? But-”

“Things changed.”He flashed that smile at me and slid a hand under my back, pulling me up to him. “Let's go home, Andi.”

“Please-”

But light flashed around us and we were gone. 

I was never going to see SHIELD again.


	15. Penultimate Defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So hey everybody!  
> I really appreciate all of you who have joined me on the crazy ride of my very first fanfic. And as we approach the third and final arc of this story, I couldn't be happier with all the kindness you have shown me! This has been a crazy experiment that really boosted my confidence in my writing.  
> I hope you all enjoy the coming chapters!

 

 

 

I was dumped onto cold tile, gasping and eyes blinded from the tunnel of light I had erupted from. I heard Loki land on his feet beside me, and I was grateful that I couldn't see his beautiful, terrible face. All my nightmares, everything that haunted my mind, was happening.

“Welcome home, pet.” His hand gripped the back of my neck and forced my head up. My vision was starting clear, but I couldn't see much beyond that I was in some sort of ornate throne room. “Seems like your prophesies were wrong.” He strode away from me, before smugly seating himself on the golden chair. I could feel his self-satisfaction from where I huddled. Say what you want about the bastard -power suited him. “I rule here now. _I_ won.”

“You've gone through a lot of work for a faulty oracle then.” I spat. “Maybe a magic eight ball will do you better.”

He grinned at me, wolfish and hungry and terrifying. “I'm not so much interested in the future; I'm exactly where I want to be. What I'm much, much more interested in, is how exactly you are alive?”

Oh. Yeah. How was I supposed to explain that. “I did die, actually.”

“Yes, but it seems you did not stay that way.”

I shrugged halfheartedly. “I dunno. Things happened. Yggdrasil was there. Maybe I had a phoenix down in my inventory. ”

“Is that a spell?”

I couldn't suppress my surprised laugh at his curiosity. “It's a joke, oh most magnificent trickster.” I gave a mocking bow. “Nothing exciting, or worth keeping me alive for. So you should just kill me again.”

He stood, and with my eyesight almost returned to normal, he was even more malevolently beautiful than ever. Slowly, he took each step down from his throne, and my heart spiked. Then he was in front of me and I was staring down at the ornate tile, hoping and praying that I would just disappear into nothingness.

His cool fingers clamped down on my chin and pulled me up until I was on the tips of my toes. His voice was thick as poison, and quiet as a dagger as he lowered his face to mine. “I'm the ruler of Asgard now. I could have any cunt here or on Midgar.” The corner of his mouth turned up in the driest of smirks. “But would you believe that I missed you?”  
What? What in the world could you say to that? “I-I-”

“Shh,” His hands slid down from my chin to my throat, and suddenly his long, pallid fingers were squeezing the air from me. “I sit atop the greatest throne in the realm, and yet I longed for you. But you saw fit to fuck one of my minions. You whined, and moaned for him like a bitch in heat. You are a disgusting, filthy mongrel and I will show you exactly what kind of garbage you are.”

He squeezed harder and I felt a dizzying kind of pressure. It took me several seconds of gasping and flailing to realize he was lifting me off the floor. Soon, my head was above my Master's, and my legs were kicking wildly, trying to find purchase.

My vision was beginning to blink out yet again, and my lungs burned for air. My struggles grew feeble then eventually stopped all together, and something warm and wet was rushing down my legs.

Piss. I was peeing myself and dying and all I could think was thank god that this was going to be over soon.

“I'm going to hang your body up for the crows to feast on, and send your heart to your beloved Barton.”

With the tiniest fragment of air I had left, I smiled at my twice murderer. “See you in hell, fucker.”

He snarled at me, but I slipped away before he could respond.  
*  
 _I floated in nothingness and I was glad for the relief. Who knows, maybe Loki would toss out my body before I miraculously came back to life. Maybe this was going to be my way out. That would be a pretty kick-ass surprise._

_The darkness began to clear around me, and grass rushed into existence at my feet. Within a few breaths -did I even breathe in this strange between world?- I was standing in front of Yggdrassil again._

_“Yo, other me!” I called, looking around for my spooktacular counterpart. “I'm back for a while. You would not believe what happene-” I trailed off, a feeling of utter dread flooding me. Something was wrong. Very wrong. I had spent a lot of time going between planes of existence as I had died again and again on Loki’s concrete floor, and I was familiar with my haven’s aura._

_Slowly, I walked around the tree until I found my other form. Instead I literally ran into Loki._

_I screamed, and stumbled back, before quickly realizing this was not MY Loki._

_No. This was THE Loki. The big bad. The main man. The head hancho. The great kahuna._

_And he was in. My. Mind._

_I fell onto my ass and tried to scuttle back, but he closed the distance between us, and knelt in front of me. I froze, petrified beyond all belief._

_“Why are you here?” I whispered._

_“You have been a very bad puppet,” He answered back, voice equally soft. He was different from my Loki. Much older, less rash, but I could still feel the unbridled power rolling off of him in waves._

_“What can I say? I've never been very good at directions.”_

_He laughed softly, which made me every more uneasy. But he ignored my terror and calmly laid a hand on my abdomen. “I can't cross into the realm I've sent you to, but I can easily bring myself here and fix your adorable little rebellion.”_

_“Fix my-” I was cut off as his hand glowed a brilliant green. I felt a terrible sort of rending and pulling within me, before it finally clicked what he was doing. “NO! You can't do this. You can't heal me. I'm dead!”_

_“Be still, lost little norn. You fate has long been written, and no barbaric Midgardian surgery is going to stop me.”_   
_I howled and thrashed and kicked, but it didn't even phase my captor. I felt his cooling, soothing magic roll through me and fix everything I had had Dr. Archbold remove. My failsafe, my big fuck-you to Loki was being erased as though it never happened._

_He pulled his hand away from my middle and I fell onto my back, defeated. Gently, he kissed the top of my head. “Serve your purpose, and you will have riches beyond your reward. You are but a child, stop fighting your god.” I tried to say something, but I didn't have enough strength. I just kinda breathed piteously. “Now go to my younger self, and give in.”_  
*

I sat up, gasping for hair, and I heard screams erupt around me. Head reeling, I looked around to see I was still in the throne room, and there were a couple of servants staring at me in horror from where I was on the ground. They were pointing, and screaming some more, and I just sighed dejectedly.

I hadn't even left the room yet.

“What's going on?” A strange voice bellowed.

I craned my head backwards to see an older man with an eye patch and full armor sitting on the throne. I had never seen him before, but if I squinted, I felt like I could see familiar porcelain skin hiding just under his visage.

“She has risen from the dead!” One of the nearest servants screeched, sounding like she was barely holding onto her composure.

The man actually looked surprised and descended from his throne. He took several steps towards my prone body and I instantly knew it was Loki in disguise. He was some trickster, that silver tongued demon.

We stared at each other for several moments, him calculating, and me resigned to my fate for the moment. Finally, he looked to his servants flatly. “She had merely awoken from a sleeping curse. Bathe her, and have a healer visit her, then place her in a cell until she can be interrogated.”

“Of course your majesty.”

They helped lift me to my feet and they dragged me away from my tormentor. Vaguely, I realized that I was running out of ways to get out of my fate.

I wondered. Did Asgard have birth control?  
*

They washed me in some huge elaborate bath, and dressed me in some simple draping garb, and took me to some glowing, magical healer, but I wasn't really present for any of it. I let them push and pull me around like a ragdoll because that's exactly what I felt like. A stupid doll or puzzle piece in a game of celestial let's-fuck-with-Andi.

I don't know how many hours passed before I was escorted not to a jail cell, but to an opulent room full of gold and green.

“I thought I was supposed to be locked up.”

“Lord Odin changed his orders.” Was the only reply I received before the doors were slammed in my face.

Ah, so that was his game. Loki had taken over in the form of his father. Not bad, but it was only a matter of time before someone saw through his illusion. Not even the greatest sorcerer could dupe everyone forever.

I looked around the room, quickly scanning for escape. Of course there was no other door other than the one that was locked behind me. No windows either –just a balcony.

I sighed and drifted open to the gentle wafting curtains. Like I had expected, I was in a very high tower with nothing but spires and support beams far below. There was no way to climb down or signal help.

I shrugged apathetically and plopped down in a cushioned chair. What was the point? I had played the game and I had lost. Now Loki had me in both life and death.

The door opened and closed quietly, and I dully looked up at my captor. “Your Majesty,” I hissed.

“My pet,” He returned, just as smarmy and full of himself as ever.

He crossed the room and hauled me up into an embrace. I offered no resistance as he spun us slowly and rocked, like we were dancing together at a ball. “My darling little creature, it seems even death does not wish to separate us.”

“Seems so.”

“What, no arguments? Do adorable little punches or scratches?” He looked down as me, eyes twinkling with malice. “I missed those little screams of yours.”

I shrugged –as best I could in his arms. “You’re going to rape me, and hurt me a lot. So what. You’ve already killed me; I don’t think you can do worse than that.”

He laughed, deep and rich and terrifying. “You don’t get it do you? Not even the slightest bit.” He threw me from him and I crashed into a gilded chest, nearly knocking it over as I tumbled to the ground. Suddenly Loki was kneeling over me, his legs on either side of mine. “You’re so fragile, so easy to hurt.” He murmured, taking one of my hands in his. “One must be careful not to break their toys –lest you never get to play with them again.” He twisted then pushed upward forcefully, and a large crack issued from my wrist. I let out a cry, but Loki’s free hand went to my throat. “But now you can’t be broken, my sweet, filthy little whore. I can do _anything_ I want to you, and will you will be fine and ready to serve me within hours.”

He bared his teeth at me in a manic smile. My heart started pounding and I clawed at his hand on my throat. I hadn’t thought that Loki would enjoy his inability to kill me. That he would revel in it and do it again and again.

“And you know what, Andi? I don’t like that eye SHIELD gave you.”

“What? Pl-“

I couldn’t finish the sentence before he punched his fingers through my socket. A shrill scream ripped from my throat, and blood dripped into my open mouth. Loki curled his digits and yanked backward, pulling out my now completely fried cybernetic implant. I sobbed and tried to cup my wounded face, but he caught my good wrist and quickly broke that too.

“Shh, my poppet, shh,” He murmured, cupping my face and pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Let’s see how far you’ll bend before you actually break.”


	16. Malicious Deconstruction

Agony swallowed all of my senses, and for several minutes I had no idea where I was or what was going on. Once I did grasp reality again, I realized Loki had flipped me over onto my stomach and my dressed shoved out of his way.

 

I pushed myself up on my broken wrists, only to have Loki's cold hand press between my shoulder blades, forcing me down while pulling my hips up. I tried to flail, but with non-functioning hands and little strength, I couldn't even inconvenience my master.

 

Once he had me positioned how he wanted, he let go of my pelvis and let his free hand stroke up my thigh tenderly. He let out a long breath, almost like a sigh of relief. “I missed those little sounds of yours.” He murmured throatily, bending down to place several loving kisses down my spine. “Your helpless little squeals and cries.”

 

I didn't answer. Any movement of my face muscles just made my empty socket erupt in horrendous pain , and just wasn't worth a pithy reply. But Loki didn't seem that upset by my lack of wit, and I heard him unbuckling his elaborate jacket. For a brief moment his hand left its post between my shoulder blades and I slumped flat to the floor. Part of me wanted to crawl away, to reach out and find something to fight him with. But the other part of me -a very large part, just wanted to cry and disappear into nothingness.

 

My god didn't give me much respite before he yanked my hips up again. He gripped my rear, alternating between pinching and caressing my flesh. I tried to sit up and pull myself away from him, but he lashed out with one hand and slammed my head back into the ground. I let out a choking sob, but he didn't release the pressure. I could feel blood drizzling from my wound onto the cool alabaster, but there was little I could do about it.

 

I was a fool to think that there was a limit to what Loki would do to me. It was obvious that the only thing that rivaled his thirst for power was his thirst for violence. He was going to tear me apart and enjoy every moment of it. I was locked into an eternity with someone who would slowly eat me from the inside out.

 

"If you're going to act like a bitch in heat, then I'm going to treat you like one." He hissed, nails biting into, and breaking my skin.

 

And then he was in me. No warning, no preparation. He slammed forward while at the same time pinning me in place with his grip on both my hip and head. I screamed, possibly as loud as when he had yanked my eye out, but that only fueled him more.

 

The world narrowed down to nothing but my pain and his breathing. Every move tore something within me. His cold, muscled pelvis offered no relief as he pounded away in a frenzy. Thankfully, I couldn't see his beautiful, terrible face, and I was free to cry out of my one good eye. I had been such a fool. How could I have ever thought I could have happiness again? I was a plaything. A fuck toy. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Loki abruptly yanked my upper body up by my hair, still thrusting furiously. I whimpered but obeyed, and managed to stay perched on my knees. He finally let go of his holds, only to have his now free hands rip down the front of my dress. He gripped my breasts, kneading them and pinching my nipple in no particular rhythm. I wasn't sure if he was trying to elicit pleasure or pain within me, or if he just enjoyed massaging them, but I could hardly feel them over the torrent of despair flooding my mind.

 

The angle of his godhood changed within me with this new position, and his strokes went deeper. I offered no resistance, other than my weeping. I have no idea how long the torture lasted, but he did not let up until I felt him release. 

 

He let me go and I collapsed to the ground -free of his hold, while he stood and wiped himself off. He towered over me silently, but I didn't have the will to turn and face him. Maybe if I laid still enough, he would leave me be.

 

His booted foot hooked under my ribs and rolled me over. I looked up at him blankly, one eye missing, both wrists demolished, blood beginning to drip down my thighs. He looked pleased, and relaxed, like he had just had a soothing chamomile tea instead of raping the life out of me. 

 

"I suppose I need to press the reset button," He murmured, kneeling down to straddle me one more time. He lovingly caressed the sides of my face, then began to squeeze. All I could do was scream until he shattered my jaw and shoved my nose into my skull. 

 

It took longer than you would expect for me to die

*

 

_My meadow was empty this time, and I let myself breathe in relief. My cybernetic eye wasn't back, but my face seemed a lot less smooshed. I guess you had to be greatful for the little things in life... er...death?_

_I laid down on the grass and tried to figure out what to do, when something started to materialize in the grass next to me. It took quite a while, or maybe it wasn't any time at all, until my other self wafted into semi existence._

_She looked worse for wear and more intangible than ever._

_"What happened to you?" I asked, rolling towards her._

_"Loki's been trying to separate me from you."_

_"Is that even possible? Aren't you just a kind of genetic echo or something?"_

_"I'm not sure, but Loki has certainly been trying."_

_"Just to clarify, we're talking about old Loki, right?"_

_She nodded and we both sighed. It was nice to let the quiet ring out uninterrupted for a while, but eventually my other self broke it. "I think I should teach you how to use magic.”_

“ _You can do that?”_

“ _Let's find out.”_

 

 


	17. Altered Subjugation

I woke up slowly, feeling pain start to seep into my mind like an insistent poison. I groaned, an opened my eyes to see a concerned woman peering down at me.

“You're awake,” she murmured softly. “I know you must be in great pain, but please stay still.”

I almost nodded but I caught myself just in time. The woman left my view and I could hear her grabbing something, before she returned. Suddenly golden light shone around me, and what I could best describe as a projection of my body hovered above me.

It would have been cool if it wasn't for the excruciating pain that was amplifying with each passing moment. Unbidden, screams started to rise from my throat, and that's when the woman was back with a vial filled with green and a damp cloth,

“Shhh,” She whispered soothingly, dabbing my forehead with the mixture. “Try to stay above the hurt.”

Easier said than done, especially now that terrible grinding and pops were echoing in my ears. It took me a few ticks to realize it was my bones mending themselves. That was not exactly a pleasant revelation and I was aware my heart was beating dangerously fast. I didn't think I was going to make it through this round.

My healer seemed to sense as much because she kept up her gentle washing. “It'll be alright, we fixed most of the damage. This is just the final mending, I needed you to be alive for this. Just a couple more minutes and then you will be recovered.”

I wanted to retort that her version of healing was pretty damn painful, but the bones around my jaw were still arranging themselves. The feeling of random pieces of me moving about under my skin made me nauseous, and before I knew it, I was throwing up.

The woman acted much faster than I expected and rolled me onto my side. A mixture of bile and blood splashed onto the table and floor, but I heard no complaint as she held me there until I was done. And once I _was_ done, I felt infinitely better. At least physically, that is. Even at SHIELD I had always been sore and tattered from recovery and PT. I could have used some Asgardian magic then.

“How is that?” The woman murmured, helping me sit up. “Do you think you can walk?”

I nodded slowly, mind finally catching up after the trauma of coming back to life. “Who are you?”

“They call me Eirenna,” Her voice was still soft and ethereal. Did she do that on purpose, or was she just born that way? “The great Odin has put you in my care for your...” She paused. “Condition.”

“Oh?” I answered dryly. “And what exactly is my condition?”

She helped me off of the healing bed I had been on. It was surprisingly easy to walk alongside her as she lead me out of the room. “The curse, milady. The terrible spell Loki placed upon you. His Majesty feels terrible guilt that you should suffer so, even after that evil beast was slain.” She looked to me, a mixture of sadness and admiration. “My readings tell me some of what you have already suffered. Twenty nine falls. I cannot imagine the pain you have endured, but I am here to ease your path. If you need anything, _anything_ , Odin has given me full permission to grant it.”

She opened a door to reveal a large bath, similar to the one I had been scrubbed in when I first arrived on Asgard. “So if I wanted to go back to eart-Midgar?”

She gave me a puzzled look. “Your home planet does not have nearly the amount of medical expertise to ease your curse. Going back would cause you endless pain. Surely, here with Odin, and our kind, you can learn to live a more fulfilling life? Perhaps we can even break the enchantment.”

I very much doubted that.

“Perhaps,” I answered noncommittally as I disrobed of my bloody dress and slid into the tub.

*

 

Once I was out of the massive pool/tub, Eirenna lead me to what I can best describe as some super fancy recovery room that looked like it belonged half to Game of Thrones and half to Star Trek.

There, I laid out on a very soft cot, and Eirenna served me several rich foods. When I questioned the lavish fare, she explained that Odin had been worried about my diminished size, and wished me to regain my pre-curse physique. That sounded a bit off to me, but I let it slide. Most likely he just wanted me more nourished so I wouldn't look like death every time I came back from....death.

If I had my way, I would have stayed in that healing room forever. It wasn't home, but it wasn't Loki either, and if I had to make a compromise, it wouldn't be a bad one. But all too soon, a servant arrived with summons from his great and probably-actually-dead Odin.

“I'm sure his Majesty wished to explain thing to you himself,” My healer murmured as she escorted me to a room I was already too painfully familiar with. “No doubt he takes this as his personal responsibility. Our King is known for his righteous justice, even his sons are not above punishment when they err.”

“Uh-huh.”

We reached the doors and she bowed to me. “I wish you great happiness in my homeland, milady.”

“Thank you,” She turned to go, but my mouth moved before I knew what I was saying. “Eirenna?”

“Yes, milady?”

“The next time you find me in your care, I uh...” I took a deep breath and pushed forward. “I would like to meet the Norn you call Verdandi.”

She looked confused by my request but nodded.

And with that, I turned back to face my fate.

I tried to keep my eyes steely as a guard opened the massive door, but my resolve faltered when it closed loudly behind me. For a moment Loki wasn't anywhere to be seen, until a there was a ripple at the edge of my vision and he appeared at the desk.

“Your Majesty,” I murmured dully.

“Pet,” He returned, arms stretching out to me. I afforded him a confused look and he sent me one of those god-cursed, dashing smirks. “Come here. I wish to sit with you.”

Unsure, I shuffled forward. Once I reached him, I was startled when he tenderly pulled me onto his lap. I sat sideways, my back supported by the arm of the chair and his caressing hand, and my legs draped across his. Lovingly, he took my chin in his free hand and titled my head down for a soft kiss.

“It appears that your trips to the realm of the dead are not always so instantaneous.” He purred. “More damage means more time for repair.” I nodded slightly. I never knew what to think when Loki seemed happy. It usually meant intense pain was on the way. “I made a mistake.”

His cool fingers slid down my neck, between the valley of my considerably smaller breasts, and came to a rest at my hip. His thumb moved in small, gentle circles as he leaned back in the chair.

“You've lost weight.”

Another nod.

“I don't like it. There's too little of you now.” For a fleeting second his grip turned vice-like and I let out a small hiss of pain. “I liked how soft you were. I could sink my hand into your flesh with no resistance.”

_Well who's fault was that now? Mr. Likes-to-murder-me-alot?_ I thought rebelliously to myself.

But then he was stroking my hair out of my face and I was on high alert again. “Try to work on that, alright my sweet?”

“Of course,”

And that was that. We sat in silence, Loki's free hand gently stroking my face, arm or hip, while his other hand stayed posted on my back. His eyes were closed and he wore a mildly content expression.

It was kinda funny; I had spent maybe three weeks or so as his prisoner before, but I couldn't think of a single time where we just sat in each other’s' presence. In fact, I was pretty sure all of my interactions with him involved violent rape.

Oh wait, there was that one time in the bath. God that was so long ago it seemed like another lifetime. Had my whole experience really been less than a year? Recalling my life as a waitress in a small town almost seemed unreal. Like some movie I had watched when I was half asleep. Was there ever a time where I wasn't a slave? Where I didn't live in terror and torment?

Tears welled up, and I tried my best to remain silent, but one of Loki's eyes cracked open. We shared a gaze for several beats; my mind was telling me to stop crying before I ruined my Master's mood, but the tears just got fatter and more insistent.

“Poor little thing,” He whispered, pulling me closer. “what kind of fate landed you here?” His hand was at my face again, and his thumb wiped away my tears. “I've killed thousands with no remorse, but what I've done to you? Not even my brother has suffered as much pain this pitiful little human. _My_ pitiful little human.” His lips were on mine again, seeking, demanding, and full of want. When we parted, I could hear his breathing pick up. “Everything about you is maddening. You hair, your face, those delicious cries and screams.” He nipped down my neck, and his grip once again turned hard. I tried to turn away from him, but like everything else, it was futile. “It's like you're begging me to take you, to put you in your place.”

He twisted me harshly, until my knees were on either side of him, and I was seated firmly in his lap. His mouth continued to work against my neck and collarbone, while his fingers wound insistently in the sides of my dress. “You're nothing but a Migardian whore,” He breathed into my skin.

I was getting tired of all the insults. “And you're the poor god who wants me.”

He stilled at that, and the look he gave me was carefully blank. I don't know why I had to antagonize my captor, but I was already regretting my words.

Silently, he suddenly grabbed my behind and stood. I gripped onto his shoulders for dear life, but the god paid me no mind and deposited me on the side of his ornate bed. I bounced comically on the rich cushion before Loki posted himself above me.

Before I could even breathe, he was kissing me again. This was the most contact our mouths had ever had, and it was dizzying. I had never experienced so much want, or desperation in his demands before, and it was disconcerting.

I don't know how long he devoured my lips, but abruptly he was standing and pulling off his outer tunic. I tried to roll away, but he grabbed my legs and yanked my hips to the edge of the bed.

“Stay,” He growled, voice a low rumble from deep within his throat.

I obeyed, and watched as bit by bit of flawless marble skin was revealed to me. After all my time away I had forgotten how otherworldly _perfect_ he was. Finally, when he was standing in just his breeches, he looked at me. Really, truly looked at me.

“I am a jealous god.” He held out a hand, which I took, and he pulled me up into a sitting position. “Once I found out you had survived, I had Heimdall set a scrying crystal to you. I watched everything. Your pain, your fight. I was amused at your struggling to undo everything I did. Then _Barton_ happened.” His voiced turned thin and icy and he gripped my hair, yanking my face up to him. “I watched you ask him for his touch, like some harlot in the street. I watched you writhe under him and scream for him like you never, ever did for me.”

And then he dropped to his knees so our eyes were level. I wasn't sure what I expected, but it wasn't that. His fingers slid up my legs, taking my thin dress with them. “And I burned with jealousy. Having your body isn't enough. I want your joy.” He leaned forward and kissed me. “Your ecstasy.” Another kiss. “Your pain and your pleasure.”

“And if I say no?” I whispered into his devilish lips.

He withdrew from me just a hair, and I saw depthless rage churning behind his lonely green eyes. “I would not advise that.”

He kissed me once more, gently pushing me backwards until I was prone on the mattress. Slowly, he slid along my body, trailing little pecks down my body. Once he was back on his knees, his hands finished pushing my dress up into a pile of fabric about my waist.

Like some bittersweet nightmare, he pulled my legs apart and tugged me closer to him. Tears were pooling again, but I tried to force them away. If I just played along, I would be spared at least a little pain tonight.

He kissed up my thigh, sweet and soft. But it was just a false echo of the safety I had felt with my PTSD buddy. I didn't want this, but it didn't matter. A gentle rape was still a rape.

I don't know how long he spent caressing and lavishing my abdomen, hips and thighs, but eventually my body started to respond to his ministrations. Sweat broke out along my brow, and I felt my muscles tensing. When finally he landed a feather-light touch on my center, I couldn't fight the gasp of excitement and relief. He smiled triumphantly against me, but I didn't care. After his previous torture, this felt like heaven. His lips and mouth moved against me expertly, while one of his digits slid inside.

My breath started to come in short little pants, but my Master did not let up. Instead his available hand glided up my body to cup one of my breasts. I arched up into him, my own fingers winding through his long black hair. That pressure inside me coiled tighter and tighter until I felt like I was going to implode. I don't know how I could go from loathing his very touch to drowning in pleasure, but I was glad my body had developed this coping mechanism.

I let out a tiny little whine and Loki froze. I stilled as well, fearing the worst.

“Louder,” He growled before returning to his work.

I blinked a few times, surprised, then let my head fall back. Unrestricted, I groaned when the god flicked that sensitive bundle of nerves with his talented tongue. That just seemed to encourage him, and he pressed more fervently into me

By this point I was gripping his hair with all my strength, my hips bucking into his demanding mouth while I mewled and panted my appreciation. Part of it was an act, but most of it was a real, actual need for some sort of sexual gratification. My legs were draped over either side of Loki's impossibly strong shoulders, and I could feel his muscles moving and tensing against my calves. Could it always be like this? Perhaps my fate wasn't so bad after all.

His mouth pulled away and I whimpered disappointingly, but Loki was on top of me before I could finish my complaint. He pressed his still clothed groin to my very wet opening and ground against me for a moment.

“ _Please,”_ I gasped, bucking insistently against him.

“Please, _what?_ ” He hissed, biting my neck.

“Don't stop.”

I could practically hear him grin wickedly into my skin. “You want more?”

“Yes,” I panted desperately. I was going insane. If he could just give me a little bit of pleasure to combat the terrible pain he doled out previously…

“Look at you,” His fingers found their way to my entrance and began working again. “Panting and dripping like a whore.” He added a second digit to the first. “Tell me you're a whore.”

I pressed my lips together in a tight line, which earned a vicious bite from my captor. “I-I'm a whore,” I whispered. “Please, _please,_ ”

“ _Louder,”_ He commanded, teeth still grating against my skin. “ _Beg_ me for it. Beg your _King._ ”

“Please, Loki. Oh god, I'm so close. Please, please don't stop.” Words rushed from my mouth in an unstoppable torrent. I knew I sounded pitiful and disgusting as I begged my rapist to keep going, but just the smallest relief was intoxicating. If it got him to not hurt me, or just got me off in general, it seemed pretty compelling. “I-I'm-”

“Your Majesty?”

We both froze at the call from the door. Loki let out a string of silent curses before straightening. “What?” He spat, voice suddenly much different.

“The Norn Sisters have requested an audience.”

My master's face hardened. What little happiness I had felt quickly drained away. Why had I said anything to the Healer? “Tell them I will greet them in the morning.”

“They insist it is most urgent.”

Silence rang out in the room for impossibly long. “Tell them I will be with them shortly.”

“Of course, your Majesty.” Another beat. “They request you bring the Midgardian as well.”

Loki's glanced to me and his expression was enough to cut through my core. He knew. He knew I had tried something. He was going to kill me. Again. “You heard him. Arrange yourself properly, _slut_.”

I jolted to my feet and busily made myself decent. I briefly wondered if I should do something about my mussed hair and flushed face, when Loki's iron-like fingers clamped around my wrist and jerked me from the room. It was disconcerting that he was in his Odin form again, but I found myself seeing through it more easily. Keeping up with him, however, was much more difficult.

We reached the throne room without any escort, leaving just me, Loki, and three very tall women in the ornate hall.

“Your majesty,” One murmured, voice faint and reedy.

“Wyrd,” He returned tersely. “Verdandi, Skuld.” He crossed to his throne, pulling me along with him, then pushing me down to sit at his feet once he was seating in his golden cathedra. “To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?”

“Surely it cannot be that surprising that we would object to the imprisonment of one of our sisters.” The smallest one with jet black hair spoke now. They all were a strange mix of terribly beautiful and terribly alien. All of their features were too sharp, or hooked- like shadows cast in firelight. Even the eldest one's wrinkles seemed angled and deep.

“I assure you my companion is human.”

Now the oldest spoke, and something about her clicked within me. “Do you think I would not hear my own soul screaming in pain?”

“What are you-”

“Quiet, Loki, son of Laufeyson.” She raised her hand and Loki stilled. It took me a couple of seconds to realize he was actually frozen in place. “My dear, sweet child,” She said soothingly, coming towards me. “what horrors have you gone through here?”

I was shaking now as I realized this woman was kinda my spiritual mother from another dimension. That her other self's power had been reborn through me. “Are you here to rescue me?” I whispered.

Slowly, she shook her head and took my hands in hers. “Your fate belongs to a realm not our own. We can do nothing to unwrite what our otherselves have written. You are not in any of our books or weavings.”

“Then why are you here?” I was crying again. Dammit. “Don't you realize what this is going to make Loki do to me?”

“I know, my child. I know. But while I cannot interfere directly, I can help as best I can. Dead trees bear no fruit, and even the most lowly Asgardian sails off into death.”

“What?”

“Listen, my child.  _Listen._ Dead trees bear no fruit, and even the most lowly Asgardian sails off into death. That is all I can do. Question everything, Verdandi. You must find you path for yourself.”

I nodded slowly and there was an answering flash of light. When I could see again, the room was empty and Loki was moving again.

He looked around perplexed, and I saw the very rare look of confusion churning behind his visage. “When did we get here?” He asked, somewhat foggily.

I stared at him, mind churning. He didn’t remember why we were here? Verdandi must have done something. Thank God! Frantically, my mind churned for a reason that would make Loki stop looking around with that too intelligent gaze.

            “You said you wanted to fuck me on the throne.” I blurted, “so I would know what riding a King felt like.”

            He responding smile was crooked and evil. “Of course.” He settled back and slowly loosened his laces one by one, never breaking eye contact with me. I flushed, but I was internally grateful from the unexpected reprieve. Once his godhood was free and standing tall, he raised his eyebrow. “I’m waiting.”

            I stood shakily and settled myself onto him. I offered much less resistance than usual, for once having the proper lubrication left over from his previous efforts. Loki let out a hiss of satisfaction and just let me sink down to his base. I took a breath, then pushed myself up again, then back down. Still no interruption.

            After a few more movements, Loki finally moved. But instead of grabbing my hips and thrusting wildly, he instead pulled the front of my dress down and kissed my breasts. I whimpered appreciatively and he took one hardened nipple in his mouth.

            The whimper turned into a mewl, as I pumped him in and out of me.  Slick noises accompanied my cries as they echoed through the empty room. Everything was swirling together in a wonderful wash of ecstasy.

            I should have known it was too good to last.

            “Say my name,”

            “ _Loki_ ,” I murmured breathlessly.

            A vicious thrust. “No. Like you said  _his_  name.”

            Shit. “I…I can’t-” I murmured between pants. Couldn’t we just leave it at the pleasurable not hurting me part? “That’s different.”

            “Different…”

            I could feel his muscles tense below me, and then his hips begin to meet mine insistently. It didn’t take much longer before his too-strong fingers gripped my hips and slammed me down onto him. I let out a surprised cry, but he silenced it with a bruising kiss. When he did release my mouth, he practically purred at me then bit my neck.

            My growing euphoria quickly drained away as Loki forced me up and down at his pace, simultaneously thrusting hard enough hurt. I too, was missing my extra cushion and the protection it had once afforded me.

            I held on for dear life, gasping and crying, and for the first time Loki was letting out groans and cries as well. I could feel him throb within me like he never had before, but I was still startled when one hand fisted in my hair and viciously yanked my head back.

            “Tell me you want me.”

            “I want you,” I breathed, trying to sound sincere.

            His cadence grew more frenzied and I felt his nails break my skin. He was so close. He was almost there. If I just held on a little longer-

            “Tell me you love me.”

             _What?_  That actually surprised the pain out of me for a good second and I just stared at him. That was until his hand unwound from my hair and instead wrapped itself around the front of my throat.

            “ _Tell me you love me_.”

            “I-I love you,” I wheezed, hiccupping on one of his crushing thrusts.

            My Master let out a roar and released within me. He kept furiously pumping throughout his orgasm, even his release unable to slow him down. When he finally stilled and allowed me to slump against him, my mind was churning furiously. Something had changed, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t good.


	18. Enslaver's Addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know I haven't updated in a loooooooooong while. I've been busy with life and work, and struggling pretty hard with depression. So for this chapter I decided to do something fun and switch things up. I hope you all enjoy it! Tell me if you want more chapters like this, because there are only a handful of chapters left before the eeeennnndddd

We stayed that way for a long while, our uneven breathing ringing out through the silence. I attempted to shift to ease him out of me, but his steely grip tightened until I stilled. I wasn’t sure when Loki became a cuddler, but I decided to go with the current flow and rested my head in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

  
Although that had been a less than pleasant ending, I couldn’t remember the last time I had left a session so relatively unscathed. Although I wasn’t sure if this change in procedure was a good thing. Loki was acting entirely too peculiar for me to be comfortable. Perhaps ruling was less fulfilling than the green eyed monster had hoped. Perhaps it was lonely on the throne, pretending to be his father.

Too fucking bad.

  
He had chosen his path in life, and he had no right to alter mine. I didn’t care if he was going soft, or about to tumble off the precipice into madness, I was going to be free.

  
Like everything with my Master, there was no warning when I felt him suddenly bristle below me. I barely had enough time to raise my head before he shoved me off his lap and stood.

  
“Clean yourself; you’re disgusting.”

  
I stared up at him, but he wouldn’t return my gaze. “I d-don’t know where-”

  
He back handed me viciously and I flew down the stairs leading up to his throne. I landed in a heap and groaned, a shaking hand going up to the blood now trickling down from my brow.

  
The god adjusted himself before casting his Odin illusion. “Call a servant to lead you to a bath, you insipid little slut.”

  
And with that he walked past me, and back from where we had come. I let myself be still for a moment, and pulled my knees up to my chin. Fear was threatening to swamp me, so I took a very deep breath and summoned all my energy into my hand.

  
A little ball of light floated there for a moment and I half laughed, half cried. “Find me an ally.” I whispered, breathless and hopeful and all sorts of amazing exciting emotions.

  
The little orb gave a little sparkle then zoomed off through a wall. Feeling revitalized, I stood.

Time to get cleaned up for the Mister.

 

LOKI

  
Loki waited until he was back in his royal chambers before letting out a scream reverberating with frustration and anger. What was he doing? How could he be letting that pitiful pile of human scum effect him so? He was a mighty God, ruler of Asgard and defeated the All-Father. He was all powerful, unkillable, and he was allowing himself to be enthralled by a fat Midgardian?

  
Well, she wasn't very fat anymore, and that was Loki's fault. But he was sure given enough time, and food, he could restore her to her former figure. With all the statuesque and powerful women he was surrounded by every day, there was something just...novel about her plush fragility. The ability to tear, rend, and leave his bruising mark with so little effort was borderline intoxicating. It made him feel powerful. Unstoppable. He was the God among gods.

  
And what else was there for him, than conquering her relentless spirit? He had won. This was it. He had everything he had ever wanted. He sat upon the throne with all of Asgard bowing at his feet.

  
Then why was he still being driven mad with rage?

  
And why was hurting her the only thing that quieted it?

  
A knock sounded at the deity’s door and he answered in his father's voice. It was almost second nature by now.

  
“Emissaries from Vannahiem have arrived for their audience.”

  
“Of course they have,” Loki grumbled, rolling his eyes and turning back to the door. “There's so little rest for the wicked.”

***

  
Once Loki had quite enjoyed solving diplomatic quandaries and spinning treaties with his silver tongue. He had also once believed he was a beloved son of Oden.

  
A lot of things had changed.

  
After several hours of discussing new trade agreements with the methodical Venir, he was tired in both mind and body. As soon as the emissaries were gone, he ordered his court emptied and declared he was retiring to his room.

  
He knew some people whispered the oddity of their King suddenly becoming a recluse, but most seemed to agree he was mourning for his beloved wife who had fallen when the dark elves had attacked.

  
Thinking of her caused a spike of shame to cut through the Jotun. For all his planning, he had never foreseen the death of the one person left who loved him. But she would have never had had to die if he had just been given the throne he deser-

  
He cut that thought off before his mind burned red. He had the throne now, and that's what mattered.

  
His guards opened the doors to his chambers and all of his stressing thoughts faded. Andi was sitting at his desk, sketching something studiously. She had obviously been to the bath and back, with new clothes and her wild mane of red curls in a halo around her head.

  
“Have you eaten?” He questioned, dropping his illusion to settle onto a sedan across from her.

  
Her head jerked up and her eye was filled with a mix of utter terror and defiance. He enjoyed watching that conflict within her. She always seemed to be tottering between raw survival instinct and pride that was above her station. One moment fighting, scratching, biting. The next, weeping and calling him her Master. Then back to defying him again. It was as fun as it was futile. The God would always have his way.

  
“Uh, no. I'm not sure where to get food.” She answered plainly.

  
Loki allowed himself a chuckle and called for a servant to bring dinner fare. For a moment his pet looked perplexed at the change in his voice, and he could see it click when she remembered his charade.

  
“You may continue your work until they arrive.”

  
The girl nodded, hair bouncing emphatically, and she returned to scribbling. Loki summoned a book to himself and relaxed into the pages.

  
Not too much later, another knock sounded at the door. Loki looked to his captive expectantly, but she just stared.

  
“Are you going to answer that?”

  
“Oh.” She hopped up and rushed over to the entrance. The Jotun didn't bother to move; he knew he was out of sight from where he was reclining.

  
Without too much fuss, Andi returned with a heaping tray of boar, figs, and bread with dulse spread. She set it down on the table somewhat breathlessly then looked back to him.

  
“Eat,” He murmured, turning a page.

  
“Aren't you hungry?” She questioned, picking up a piece of meat in her small fingers. He could hear the suspicion lacing her tone. Like she expected a beating for daring to breathe towards the meal.

  
“Not right now.”

  
She shrugged and dug in. Once, not too long ago, the girl would have no doubt been too terrified to eat in front of him. Now she knew that he could do much worse than starve her, so she might as well enjoy a nicety when she could. It was interesting how midgardian psychology worked.

  
Hours passed and soon it was well into the night. The ceiling glowed with enough ambient light to read and draw with, but Loki cut it off with a quick snap.

  
“I wish to rest.” He stated matter of factly while he strode to the ornate bed. When Andi did not stir from her spot, he smirked.

  
“Undress me.” She sat there a moment, and he could almost hear her frantic thoughts from where he stood. “Undress me.”

  
She stood and hurried to him. She kept her head down resolutely, focusing on the fastenings of his emerald tunic. Her delicate, fearful little touches brushed across him, stirring the pit of his stomach. They were as teasing as they were innocent, and the frost giant enjoyed the dissonance. It was too soon when she tentatively peeled his top from him. Her hands hurriedly went to the lacing of his breeches, but he caught her wrists.

  
“Come now, my little creature.” He murmured, placing her hands on his shoulders. “You make me feel so unwanted.” She tried to pull away, but he pressed her palms into him. “Am I so ugly that you can't bear to touch me?”

  
“....no,” She murmured quietly.

  
“Really? Because that is not the impression I have.” He allowed his smirk to grow. “Perhaps you should change my mind.”

  
Now she looked up at him, and he could see that cold revulsion there. She could despise him all she wanted, but they both knew who was going to have their way tonight.

  
He gave her one of his most charming smiles. “I'm waiting.”

  
She didn't need another prompt. Slowly, her hands slid along his body; warm, soft and weightless. Her calloused fingers traveled between the groves in his muscles, gently exploring. Loki closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the worship.

  
Her warm breath caressed his always-cold skin, stirring up more energy within the God. He remembered a time when he would go months without bedding a woman, now he rarely managed a day. It was ...a welcome change.

  
Her hands stopped at his sides and he was about to reprimand her, when he felt her lips brush against his shoulder. He let out an approving sound, and she stepped closer to him so that their bodies were flush.

  
Her breasts pushed against him as her arms slowly encircled him. She left several more delicate kisses, trailing down to his collar bone, before resting her head against his chest.

  
She was embracing him.

  
Unbidden, his arms came up to wrap around her. The last time he had been held was when his brother thought him dead. The realization of that was....disappointing? Infuriating? Decidedly unpleasant?

  
A soft sound stirred him from his darkening thoughts. Andi was murmuring something.

  
No, she was singing. Quiet little notes issued from her small mouth, and he could feel her jaw move against his chest with each enunciation.

  
It was a pretty melody. Clear and a little heady. She had been holding out on him. Of course it didn't compare to the trained minstrels in the royal court, but it was still soothing to listen to. It was surprising to think that she still had such sweetness in her at all.

  
Poor little thing. What was it like to be a helpless child in the grip of the all powerful? He pitied her. It was Oden's fault she was here. If he had just killed Loki when he had found him-

  
A whimper distracted him, and he realized his grip on Andi had turned crushing. He exerted a slight bit more of pressure and her back popped loudly. So fragile.

  
He let her go and she gasped appreciatively, simultaneously twisting her spine to make sure he hadn't broken anything. Silly girl. If he wanted her not to walk, he had much more interesting ways to do that.

  
Smiling to himself, he laid on the bed, propped up on the ridiculous amount of pillows. Firmly, he patted the area next to him and the girl recovered enough to walk forward.

  
“Now now,” Loki murmured, ever chiding, ever enjoying playing with his toy. “after all this are you really going to wear that to bed?” He raised an eyebrow. “You'll make me feel overdressed.”

Ah there it was, the hate again. But she was learning, because this time she said nothing, and instead loosened the clasps at her shoulders.

  
Her dress slid to the floor in a heap, allowing Loki to drink in his conquest. Her skin was almost translucently pale, with dark bruises from where his fingers had gripped her that morning. Or had it been the night before? For some reason his memory was a bit foggy...

  
Her soft stomach trembled, sending a ripple across her torso. Her breasts had shrunk with the rest of her, but they were still luscious alabaster. And right between them was an angry scar that ran from her clavicle to ribs. He had marked her. For all her life she would bear the physical proof that the Trickster God always won.

  
She stood there, trembling, her empty eye socket casting shadow over her rounded features, until Loki motioned her forward. Slowly, achingly slowly, she crawled onto the bed and nestled into his side.

  
Loki slid one arm under her head, and pulled the blankets up with the other. “Sing me a lullaby, pet.”

  
***

  
Loki woke slowly, and rolled, expecting warm softness to greet him. Instead his hand hit empty bed and confusion pricked at him. There was supposed to be something here. He was sure of it...

  
He opened his eyes and his mind shook off its grogginess. Where was Andi?

  
A soft scratching alerted him to a presence at the foot of his bed. Clicking his teeth in growing anger, he stood and walked around to the sound.

  
It was Andi, naked and drawing frantically across the floor.

  
“I do not recall giving you permission to leave the bed,” He murmured, using the tone that he knew unnerved his pet.

  
She ignored him, and continued her work.

  
“Stop that,” He ordered.

  
Still no reaction.

  
“Andi!” He grabbed her shoulder and jerked her to her feet, spinning her around to face his wrath. But instead of one eye staring at him in terror, he was greeted with two orbs of glowing white. “Verdandi.” He hissed, recognizing the strange force that that lived within the body of his puppet. “I thought you would have learned from the last time.”

  
“ _Puppet? We are no puppet_.” There was that voice again. It was grating and full of raw power that made Loki's ears ache and his skin grow hot. “ _So funny you should mention puppet_.” She wrested out of his grip and returned to the floor, sketching what looked like rubble and broken bodies. “ _There are no strings on me,_ ” She murmured in singsong. Apparently death had not been kind to the ancient norn's psyche. “ _Can you same the same, lost little orphan? That no unseen master is pulling your strings?”_

  
“Enough!” Loki snapped. Whatever it was inside of his pet made his skin crawl. There was just something so... unbelonging about it.

  
“E _nough_!” She echoed. “But it is never enough, is it Jotun? Always empty, right? Never full.”

  
Loki felt his temper snap within him and he lashed out at the oracle. She crashed to the ground violently, and the resulting whimper indicated it was just Andi again.

  
“I'm sorry!” She cried, panic lacing her tone. “It wasn't me! Please, I didn't do anything! I'm _sorry_!”

  
That was right. Loki would make her sorry. Make her regret that any part of her didn't submit to him.

He wrapped his hand in her hair and jerked her to her feet. She screamed, and the sound sent blood rushing to his godhood. It was time to conquer. Time to destroy. He would raze her body until every cell of her being succumbed to his rule.

  
Effortlessly, he tossed her to the bed, where she quickly tried to scramble away. She was like a doll compared to him or his brother, a porcelain doll fighting not to be shattered.

  
He grabbed her ankle and harshly yanked her back to him. Flipping her over, he straddled her nude form, pinning her waist to his bed.

  
Her pale skin was a stark contrast to the umber satin beneath her, her little pink mouth practically glowing in comparison as she pleaded with him to stop. He allowed himself a wicked smirk before he gripped her throat and squeezed, his large hand dwarfing her neck. She scratched and punched at him, even though she knew she didn't have the strength to actually cause him pain. It was both amusing and exhilarating to watch her writhe under him.

  
Finally he relaxed his hold and she gasped desperately, dragging in air quite greedily for someone who couldn't die. With her movement stilled, Loki reached for her entrance.

  
She was dry, as usual when they started, but he knew how to move his fingers against her. She took much more preparation that the average conquest, but today the god felt like taking the time to make things a little more lubricated.

  
His poor little creature bit her lip and looked away from him. The shame was practically radiating from her beaten form. Loki was fairly certain that this was the part she hated the most -when he gave her pleasure; when he forced her body to respond despite her tormented thoughts.

  
Her passage started to dampen, and he slid two fingers inside, keeping his thumb circling her clit. A groan fought its way out of her mouth and Loki felt himself stiffen further. She had no idea how arousing her very being was.

  
His last bit of patience ebbed, and he quickly pulled at his laces. Once more, desperate little Andi tried to wiggle away, but he gripped her legs and pushed them back so she was almost bent in half, and entered her all in one swift motion.

  
By all that was sacred, the heat within her was almost maddening. Her walls were slick and gripped him in rippling waves. He allowed a content breath from him mouth before driving himself into her core again. And for once all the anger, all the hate faded and he let himself get lost in the sensation.

  
This was what true victory should feel like.


	19. Infinite Representation

Fingers dug into my tender flesh as Loki bored into me, relentless and unforgiving. My knees knocked into my shoulders as he bent me in half with brute force. I could hear myself crying and begging him to stop, but everything had a strange disconnect to it. The last time I had been physically possessed by Verdandi, I was immediately murdered right after. It was all a weird sense of de ja vu.

  _What made her come out?_ I wondered to myself faintly through the haze of pain.

 Loki let go of my legs, and suddenly sharp teeth sunk into my collar bone. I lscreamed, and that seemed to be enough for my Master. With a grunt of his own, he drove his hips into me, pinning me down to the mattress as he filled me with his seed. I could feel the almost too-hotness of it spread through me as he held me still. At this rate other Loki was going to get exactly what he wanted.

 Wait....when _was_ my last period? I just got a new uterus thanks to Big Kahuna Loki's healing. Had I had a chance to ovulate yet? What if he had made me super fertile? What if I was already pregnant?

 The very thought broke something in me and I let out a keening sob. Loki, for once, looked surprised and gazed down at me quizzically. But I couldn't stop. This was total meltdown: red face, gasps of air, snot and ridiculously big tear drops along with chest crushing wails.

 “Stop this,” He snapped, pulling back from me.

 I shook my head what little I could. The thought of birthing monsters for an alternate dimension form of my rapist, that my own body autonomy meant nothing, made everything so pointless. Why even try escape? I was powerless.

 “I do not pity you, Andi.” he was angry now. “Stop this sniveling.”

 I didn't obey.

 He had that look on his face again. “Seems like I broke you this time around. Time to reset.” He moved away from me and walked off into the room. I stayed on the bed, sobs wracking my frame. He was about to kill me again, but who cared? I would just come back and be raped once more. I was a used game, that could be reset at an-

 _Reset?_ As in a do over. Come back new. I couldn't carry a pregnancy through death, could I?

 

…....could I?

 

 A tiny beacon of hope bubbled up through the hysterics, and I quieted just as Loki returned to the bed and straddled my waist.

 “Such pretty white skin,” He murmured, dragging a palm between my breasts. “I like how different colors look against it.” Quicker than thought, his hand whipped out, and I felt a long pinching along my neck. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. Why did it seem like I was drowning?

 He had cut my throat.

 “There, there,” He murmured as blood bubbled up to pool in the bed. My consciousness began to slip away as he coated his hands in the red and caressed it down my body. “Come back better next time.”

And then there was that trademark devilish smile, and he held my face, streaking blood through my hair as he leaned close. “Tell Verdandi this was her fault.”

***

 

_“Dude, what was up with the body snatching?”_

 

_My otherself looked up from the river in our personal haven. “What do you mean?”_

 

_I blinked, confused. “Wasn't that you who decided on a morning art lesson?”_

 

_She shook her head. “I haven't sensed you in hours. I assumed you were asleep.”_

 

_“But if it wasn't you, who-”_

 

_A glowing blue orb popped into existence in front of me, interrupting me. It took a couple seconds to recognize it as my SOS beacon, and by then another woman suddenly appeared as well._

 

_“Well, that was fun,”_

 

_I blinked, dumbfounded as I stared at this intruder. She was a bit shorter than me, and much heavier, but I would recognize that wild mane of red curls and heart shaped face anywhere._

 

_“The fuck...?” I whispered._

 

_She let out a long laugh, and it was just eerie. “Sorry about taking over your body there, I got a little overwhelmed by all the thick cords of destiny in your dimension.”_

 

_“My...dimension?” I questioned. What was going on? In a total of twenty minutes I had been possessed, beaten, raped, murdered and brought face to face with yet another doppelganger in my own personal version of purgatory._

 

_“Yeah, I saw your little guy here and I followed it along to see what I could do. It also helped me get far away from Pluto.”_

 

_“Wait, Pluto? Like Hades? The greek god?”_

 

_She nodded. “He's trying to concur Olympus by birthing an army through my sisters and I. They helped me escape, but they're still his prisoner.” She held out a hand. “The name's Lachesis, but my sisters call me Lali.”_

 

_“...you're a fate?” My intangible version of Verdandi questioned._

 

_“And you're a Norn, from what I hear. And an... echoish thingie?”_

 

_I couldn't help my own crazed sounding laugh now. “So you're telling me, that even in alternate dimensions, I'm still some sort of prophetic something or other with a god trying to breed me?”_

 

_She shrugged. “I've gazed into many versions. If we exist in a world, all our situations are pretty similar. Moirai, Parcae, Sudice, somethings influencing deities to either murder us, or breed us like cattle. Most of us aren't lucky to have sisters like I do. Like you, they're alone. It's a grim view.”_

 

 _I let out a breath and I felt that anger bubble up again. “That's not_ fair!”

 

_“Understatement.” She sat at the edge of the river flowing from the roots. “That's why I followed your call. With so much anguish in our lifesteams, what if I could make a difference in just one?” She looked up at me, and I saw a mirror into the grief and pain that had been consuming me. “So have a seat and tell me what's going on.”_

 

_I let out a long breath, trying to comprehend the new layer added to my already pretty complicated existence. Lali waited patiently until I joined her. Explaining didn't take the eternity I thought it would, and I could feel the three of us -three of me- bonding with each word. It seemed vaguely narcissistic, but I didn't care. When I finished, Lali stayed quiet for a long time, curling a long bit of twine around her wrist, then uncurling it._

 

_“You said you met the Verdandi from this world?”_

 

_“Yeah. She's not like us. Not tortured or hunted or anything.” My echoey self answered._

 

_“That's weird.”_

 

_“Is it?”_

 

_Lali nodded. “There's gotta be something about this world that's protected it from whatever meddling all of our dimensions have.” She uncurled the twine again, but this time snapped it into a straight line. I felt the hairs of the back of my neck stand, then the string was stiff as a stick and she started to draw in the dirt with it. “Here's my dimension,” She said, drawing a circle. “My sisters and I thought we were mutants. We were raised on earth; but when my eldest sister hit twenty one, Pluto tried to take us.”_

_Another circle. “Technically this isn't your dimension. You're a transplant more than anything else. Your dimension is over here with the boss Loki.” Several more circles. “I've seen Nitsi, more Verdandi's, a couple Decimas and even a Morta._

 

_“All of these universes, and a deity conveniently got the idea to start impregnating or sacrificing fate-manipulators. But this dimension, nothing. Even now, your Loki hasn't given a second thought to the possibility of reproducing with you. That can't be a coincidence.”_

 

_I nodded, my mind churning. “So what does this all mean?”_

 

_“I don't really know. But I think you need to find out as much as you can about this Asgard and see why it's unaffected. And I think you're right about death stopping the whole baby making process. You can't breed and rot at the same time.”_

 

_“Lovely.”_

 

_Lali laughed and punched me in the shoulder. “You know we have the same asshole sense of humor.”_

 

_“Yeah, but usually I don't use it on myself.”_

 

_“Good point.” We both chuckled and she let out a little sigh. “This is nice. Kinda makes me wish I could just stay here.”_

 

_“Why can't you?”_

 

_She gave me a look. “Two sisters, remember? I gotta go save them.”_

 

_“Maybe I could help with that?”_

 

_Another laugh. “Unless you've got some form of inter-dimensional travel, I don't think mr. seeky-orb is going to be a huge asset.”_

 

_“You never know, I was able to get him to find you. Maybe if I practiced, I could do the same.”_

 

_Her one emerald eye flicked to mine and I saw a familiar flicker of hope. “You think so?”_

 

_I nodded. “If I escape my hell, you bet I'm helping you get out of yours.”_

 

_She held out her hand once more. “A deal's a deal then, see you on the flip side, Andi.”_

 

_I took it, and pulled her into a hug. “You betcha.”_

_****_

 

“Easy now, Andi. Just breathe slowly for me.”

 I didn't open my eyes, recognizing the voice of the sweet healer and obeying her calm order. She moved around me almost silently, once more dabbing and soon my breathing grew easier and any pain I felt ebbed.

  _“_ There you are, you can open your eyes now.” I did and she smiled down at me. “Would you like to try sitting up?”

 I nodded and she helped me rise. I was on the healing table again, but it had been moved to a balcony. A pleasant, salty breeze greeted me, and I looked out at the vast expanse of water. I had never realized that I was on some sort of Norse version of Atlantis.

 “It's beautiful,” I breathed, smiling at Eirenna.

 “I thought it might be a comforting thing to wake up to,” She murmured, filling a goblet with water for me. “The seas of Asgard are known to carry troubles away,”

 “I think it's working,” I gestured to the expanse. “What's on the other side?”

 She turned her head to the side and gazed out with me. “I'm not entirely sure. The very sea that carries our dead to their final resting place is said to connect everything that ever existed. Perhaps it takes them to another world, where their souls live again instead. It is a mystery only those who fall in battle can know.”

Suddenly the entire world narrowed to a pinpoint. “It connects _everything?_ ”

 She nodded absently. “Some say it is the lifeblood of every world that has ever, or will ever exist. Some say it is simply a celestial border to what we know. Either way, it's lovely.”

 I stared out at the blue expanse, hardly able to breathe. “Yes, yes it is.”

 This was it. I had found it. My way to escape Loki once and for all. And to get there all I had to do was die.

 Permanently.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaccckkkkkk!  
> And at chapter 19 we finally reveal the main plot. Better late than never, right?  
> Also, I miss all you babez <3  
> I will admit, I got a fiverr for writing, and that's been taking a bit of my attention, but I will try to get back on track with writing.


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